Today, I take a short diversion from my normal FI/money questions. I need your help sorting out a family dispute.
Last week, I asked you if you were passionate about your work. I do want to discuss your answers, but I’m saving them for next week. I need to get to this week’s question as fast as possible because I’m totally annoyed. Keep in mind that I’m a weirdo and strange things set me off. (Mrs. 1500 note: Boy Howdy!*)
Ask the Readers: Do you know what this is?
I’ve written about some of the domestic disputes that happen in the 1500 household before. One of my most popular posts was the one about our annual thermostat wars. Mrs. 1500 likes to keep the house around 95 degrees fahrenheit while I prefer a more reasonable 71. I almost had to install one of these:
Anyway, a new battle is brewing in our household and I need your help. It’s show and tell time. Here is how this is going to work:
I’m going to show you some pictures of something you see every day. I want you to tell me what the object is and what it does. Ready? Here is one:
Here is another:
And look at this badass triple banger:
Why on earth am I asking about light switches?
I’m asking because I don’t think Mrs. 1500 has any idea what these mysterious objects are. (Mrs. 1500 note: Mr. 1500, how would you like to sleep on the couch tonight?)
Last Friday night, Mrs. 1500 and I had this conversation:
- Mrs. 1500: Why did you turn the lights off on me? Did you know I was in the room?
- Me: Oh, sorry. This is just a natural part of my behavior. When I exit a room, I turn the lights off.
Before I continue, I need to explain that Mrs. 1500 and our two children never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever turn lights off. When I’m out of town, astronauts on the space station can see our home. Our electric usage doubles or even triples. I’m not joking. The conversation went on:
- Mrs. 1500: But I was in the room when you turned the lights off.
- Me: I can’t help it. See, there are these things on the wall. I know you probably haven’t noticed them before, but they’re called switches. ***I point at one*** See these white things? Touch one, it won’t hurt. If you push it down, the electricity stops flowing to the light-bulb which causes it to stop emitting photons. The room gets dark and we don’t have to pay for the electricity used to generate the photons. There is no need for light in a room if no humans are in it. It is beautiful. (Mrs. 1500 note: The conversation didn’t **quite** go like this…)
- Mrs. 1500: Shut up. I’m going to punch you! (Mrs. 1500 note: OK, this part did.)
I don’t understand why Mrs. 1500 and the kids cannot master (or even attempt) the light switch. How hard is it!? They have picked up other healthy habits perfectly fine including:
- washing their hands after bathroom time and before meals.
- putting their seat belts on in the car.
- putting their clothes away.
According to this video, my wife is the Wattage Waster, an “insidious villain:”
(Mrs. 1500 note: Mr. 1500, forget the couch. How does the driveway or backyard look?)
So why oh WHY IS TURNING OFF THE DAMN LIGHTS SO ****ING HARD????
(Mrs. 1500 note: Mr. 1500 tells lies. I know how to use those things that hang on the wall. Um, that up-and-down thingy… What’s it called again?!?)
*Mr. 1500 note: “Boy howdy”? Who in the world says this? What does it mean?! What language is my wife speaking??!
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