There are conflicts going on all over the world. Look no farther than any news outlet to read about wars in the Middle East and chaos in Ukraine. Unfortunately, a battle is raging in the 1500 household as well and it’s starting to get ugly.
Mrs. 1500 is currently a stay at home mom and I work out of the house. As a result, both of us spend a good deal of time at home. Normally, we live a fairly harmonious existence. We have small battles when I forget to put down the toilet seat or Mrs. 1500 loses all of my underwear when doing wash. She “falls in” and I end up a little chafed, but these spats are short lived. However, a full on battle breaks out every year when the winter weather sets in.
Mrs. 1500’s corrections to the inconsistencies in the above paragraph: Mr. 1500 lives in a house with 3 girls and zero other boys. I don’t think it is an unreasonable request to ask him to put the seat down. Second, I have never lost all of his underpants when doing the wash. I do “lose” the ones he has had since high school, that are in an indecent state. When mere threads connect the myriad of holes, they suddenly “disappear” never to be seen again. Oops.
Mrs. 1500 is comfortable when the thermostat is set at about 102. I’m a lot better at 67. There is no common ground.
Mrs. 1500 again corrects the factual errors in the previous statement: I actually prefer the thermostat to hover around 68-70. Our home is exceptionally insulated – we blew mountains of cellulose into the attic. The furnace rarely comes on. Mr. 1500 would prefer it to be around 64, which doesn’t seem like much, but really is.
Working in my home office with sweat pouring off, I have no choice but to knock the thermostat down to a reasonable temperature. I’m good for an hour until Mrs. 1500 walks by and cranks it back up to 105 or so. Back and forth it goes.
Mrs. 1500 AGAIN refutes the blatant lies being presented by Mr. 1500: He drops the temperature down far lower than ‘a reasonable temperature’ – let’s try 63. Not cool. Actually, really cool. Way too cool. I lovingly nudge the temperature back up to 68 or maybe even 69 in an effort to melt the icicles hanging from the ceiling…
To try to inspire Mrs. 1500, I told her about the Frugalwoods who stated in a recent podcast that their home was currently 55 degrees. This tactic did not work. Mrs. 1500 muttered something like this:
Good for the Frozenwoods. Hopefully their greyhound survives the deep freeze.
It gets even worse in the car. A couple winters ago, Mrs. 1500 had the heat cranked up so high that I took off all of my clothes above the waist. I thought that the appearance of my pasty white torso in the middle of winter would humiliate her into setting a temperature somewhat less that what is required to trigger a fusion reaction. Nope. Joke was on me. The 4 wheeled sauna rolls on.
Mrs. 1500 comment: This was on a long drive. I like to wear just clothes on a long car trip, rather than be bundled up in a jacket, hat, gloves, scarf, etc. Mr. 1500 thinks nothing of wearing all the aforementioned items, then complaining that he is too warm. Also, I think he was sitting in the sun.
The nuclear option
I have a solution and it isn’t pretty:
Yes, the nuclear option is the locking thermostat guard, seen in high-schools and office buildings everywhere. For only $15, I could be the temperature overlord forever.
What do you think? Do I pull out the nuke? Will deployment of this device end in mutually assured marriage destruction? Can our hot-cold marriage survive a Colorado winter?
Mrs. 1500 comments: I wouldn’t recommend it…
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