Anti Bucket List

Everyone has a bucket list of all of these amazing things they want to do:

I’d love to through-hike the Appalachian Trail!

I want to write the next great American novel!

I want to take a cooking class in Thailand!

Blah blah blah. I’m not immune to it either. I even have an insufferable list on this blog. Whatever.

Because I’m a bit of a snarky jerk, I came up with an Anti Bucket List too. This is stuff I never ever want to do. Please don’t be mad if one or more of these items are on your bucket list. Or go ahead; be mad, just don’t send me hate mail.

Anti Bucket List

• Get a tattoo: I know, you’re mad. You have a tattoo and are probably pissed off right now. My own wife is covered with them as well and frequently suggests that I should get one. Not for me. And since almost every soccer mom, teen, grandmother and fetus has one now, I’m in the minority. Does not having a tattoo make me different? Am I a hipster now? I don’t want to be a hipster. Maybe I should get one.
• Attend (insert one: Super Bowl, World Series, World Cup, or any other major sporting event): I enjoy watching football occasionally on TV, but seeing it live is miserable. Baseball is incredibly boring. Plus, I’m cheap and just don’t want to pay up.
• Buy another new car: I did this twice (2003 Honda Element, 2010 Mazda5). How silly. Cars depreciate like crazy the moment you drive them off the lot. At least I still have both.
• Do one of those crazy-ass Tough Mudder races: I’m a wuss. Hey, at least I’m honest.
• Skydive: It looked like fun until a classmate bought the farm when she crashed into a farm when the parachute malfunctioned.
• Climb Mount Everest: Freezing temperatures! Altitude sickness! Crowds! Death! $65,000! No.
• Drink coffee: I tried it once when I was 12 and thought it was gross. While I may enjoy it now, seeing how addicted people get to it scares me. On the left is my wife with coffee and on the right, without:

• Go back to a real job: I know what you’re thinking now:

Hey Captain Obvious, your blog is about quitting work! Duh.

Hold on, allow me to explain! I left my real job in April of 2017. It feels good not to have to:

• be on the clock at certain hours
• have to go to endless meeting
• answer to silly bureaucracy

However, I still work. Hell, I’m working on this silly blog right now.

I also continue to develop software. And I even do it for free. I do it because I enjoy it. I’m not getting paid, at least not in money. Meaningful work, whatever that means to you, is the key to happiness.