I walk a lot, especially early in the mornings and late at night when it’s not hot. I’ve noticed some danger signs lately in my rapidly gentrifying neighborhood:
- Cleaning crews: At least 10% of the folks on our street hire a cleaning crew to take care of their homes. For a family with working parents, I can see why this may be necessary. Life can be overwhelming. Been there, done that. I’m not sure why the empty nesters can’t clean their toilets though.
- Lawn service: This is something I’d never pay for. But again, if you’re super busy, this may be a compromise you have to make. But why do families with teenage boys pay for a lawn service? Put those kids to work!
- Ice cream delivery: I didn’t know this existed until I saw an ice cream delivery truck in front of a house.
But, I like my neighborhood and see good examples too:
- The guy who owns the rental across the street is worth millions and isn’t afraid of hard work. When his renters moved out on the sly late one recent evening, they left mountains of crap that they had collected from Craigslist. There were also piles of actual crap (courtesy of their herd of dogs and cats). Every day for the past month, I’ve seen the landlord carry junk out to a dumpster. He’s gone through at least two.
- I have 80 year old neighbors who live a lively life of travel and adventure. When they aren’t camping or in Europe, they’re working on their home or exploring the neighborhood on foot.
From my judgmental tone, you can tell I’m more like the landlord or 80 years-olds than the folks who have ice cream delivered to their home.
Finding my tribe (and seeing what you want to see)
Finding my tribe wasn’t always easy. I don’t have much in common with folks who hire an army of people to serve them so they can watch more TV. That’s not my style and I struggle finding common ground.
And lifestyle inflation is dangerous. Don’t get too comfortable when times are good or else you won’t be ready when they end. You don’t want to be foreclosed on when the economy takes it’s next dump.
Instead, figure out how to live right and don’t change no matter how much money you end up with. Do you want to control money or do you want money to control you?
But I digress.
And part (most?) of the problem is me. I don’t have much time to watch TV or keep up with gossip, so it can be hard to relate to others. I’m also socially awkward and it can take a while for me to warm up to people (years even!). Throw in some insecurity and you have a recipe for someone who may be destined to live in the middle of a forest with a big beard and crazy hair. I don’t want this:
And some of it comes across the wrong way. I’ve been called me an elitist, but again, the problem is mostly me.
So yeah, the social part can be hard. The fancy folks are easy to find. They advertise their lifestyle with new cars and servants. The frugal folks fly under the radar. The guy with the old Toyota could be poor or a stealth millionaire (most wealth is stealth).
Luckily, we have the internet. A couple weekends ago, I went to a party where most of us knew each other from the Mr. Mustache forums or blogs. We all brought food and beer and shared fun conversation. Potlucks are my style.
I want to know about your tribe, but first, we must get to the question from last week:
Can Frugality and Minimalism Coexist?
I think a truly minimalist life style is a luxury. If you only buy what you need as you need it, you are probably always paying full price. You also might be paying more for something that comes packaged in a smaller quantity.
I think this is interesting because owing a huge home filled with stuff is considered luxurious by some. Not to me though!
We are definitely more into the minimalism side of things. We only buy what we need, and with the big items we look high quality and low(er) prices. With our furniture we bought design items, but for more than half the price off. We can last a decade with those items.
For me it’s not only about saving money, but to not own more than you need. We do make some exceptions for the things that add true value of makes us happy, like vacations.
Mrs. Picky Pincher:
I don’t identify as a minimalist. I think it’s a passing fad that, for the most part, people aren’t able to adhere to and find benefit from. In some ways I see it as forced deprivation.
Hey Mrs. 1500, hear what Reader Chrissy has to say!:
Frugality sometimes results in buying things because they are on sale and you THINK you will use it and you never do and the money you spent and the deal-finding time is wasted. Not to mention the wasted resources. I think it dislike that most of all. Ugh.
Mrs. 1500’s favorite place at the grocery store is the clearance section. Unfortunately, we end up throwing lots of food away because we have so much of it, it gets lost in the chaos and goes bad:
Finally, Mrs. S said this:
We have managed to purge a lot of stuff, re gift it or simply sell it off and there is a immense sense of relief every time a box of stuff moves out from our house. We have reduced stuff we keep in freezer and that makes me feel amazing, so I understand where you are coming from.
I can relate because we’ve been purging too. In the past two months, we’ve made about 10 trips to local charities to donate random stuff. And we probably have 10-20 carloads more to go. We moved from a home that was almost 5000 square feet into our current home of around 1850. The 5000 square foot home was filled and we brought most of it with us. Not good.
We have a lot left to do, but it feels wonderful to finally be paring it down. All of that stuff takes a lot of time and we have none to spare.
I’m not sure where I land yet on the spectrum of frugality and minimalism, but I agree that they’re different. Perhaps my ultimate goal isn’t either. Maybe my goal is simplicity which lies somewhere in the middle.
I’ve found my tribe. It took a while, but I’m thrilled to have a group of friends and neighbors who we enjoy spending time with.
How about you?
- Do you have a hard time relating to others?
- Have you found your tribe and if so, how?
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I know exactly how you feel. I look around the neighborhood and see countless numbers of $80K+ SUV’s/trucks, boats in the driveways, campers, etc. Then we talk to some of our neighbors and they brag about their 1,2, … summer homes. It’s the same situation at work to. To each his own. But for us, this is not how we want to spend our money. We’d rather let it fund our freedom.
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Mr. 1500 Days says
On the other hand, you’ll be able to get a cheap SUV, boat or camper when the next big recession kicks the economy in the balls!
Mustard Seed Money says
I definitely have a hard time relating to people at times. I feel like the number of people that are interested in talking about personal finance and baseball are usually a pretty small subset of the population. While both of those are my passions. Plus I hate small talk. It always feels so forced. So it’s definitely taken awhile to find my tribe.
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The 76K Project says
I understand completely. Small talk is the bane of my existence; I’ve always had a low tolerance for it and have been unable (unwilling?) to make a significant change in that area throughout my life. I wish I were better at it, as making friends would be a bit easier if I were.
Mr. 1500 Days says
How’s the weather over there?
With all due respect, it’s a pet peeve of mine when “busy families” get a pass to pay for services but others get judgement. A friend of mine (single woman with health issues) just hired a cleaning service to help out with chores twice a month. It’s made a big difference for her. She lives an otherwise frugal lifestyle, but to her this is something worth spending money on. Some of my parents’ friends have health issues and hire some help this time of year to haul away yard waste, trim trees, mow the lawn, etc.
I’m guilty of making these kinds of judgement too – I think it’s human nature – but the bottom line is 1) do people have their financial house in order and can afford to spend on said service/item? if yes, then 2) Is it something that brings value to their lives? and 3) Is it really any of my business? (no! I should focus on my own life.)
That being said, ice cream delivery is going a bit far for me 😉
I don’t think I have a tribe per se – rather, different groups of people with whom I have different things in common. Sometimes I feel right at home and sometimes I’m outside my comfort zone. That’s okay.
Beth, I see your point. I think people should shoot for a “deliberate life” where they make decisions that work for them, and act on them.
Thus, if I hate lawn mowing (I do) then I can make the decision to have someone else do it for me. Its a decision I make with full awareness that it is costing me money, but increasing my joy.
Hope your friend continues in that thinking.
Still working on finding my tribe
Mr. 1500 Days says
This is a complex topic. There are a lot of moving parts and everyone’s situation is different.
What you shouldn’t do is let money change you. I see it all the time with inheritances. Folks are fine doing X, Y and Z, but when a little bit of money comes in, it’s time to upgrade everything.
Mrs. Adventure Rich says
We have found it hard at times to relate to others on the frugality front, but other times, I am surprised how many people I know are very wise and frugal in an unassuming/stealthy way. Hit and miss for the most part.
When we do find ourselves as the “odd ones out” on the frugality/financial side, I think it is less of a temptation for us to spend more or give in and more of an awkward situation where we are trying to keep to our frugality without making a big deal out of it.
The PF blogging community and keeping our own goals in focus have been key to any “success” we have had 🙂
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Team CF says
Our tribe is slowly growing, the local meet ups really are amazing in the sense that we meet so many new and cool people. Really looking forward to the next one in November.
But yes, I know the feeling of not fitting in, and I like it! Because the tribe that does let you in, is very supportive and great to hang out with. Now just need to become FI and have even more time to hang out for those folks.
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Mr. 1500 Days says
“But yes, I know the feeling of not fitting in, and I like it! Because the tribe that does let you in, is very supportive and great to hang out with.”
Mr. Freaky Frugal says
I FIREd a little more than 5 years ago and I freely admit I’ve found it difficult to find my tribe. My tribe used to be the team of people that I work with.
Mrs. Freaky Frugal and I belong to a local run club, Philly Runners. That is the closest thing I have to a tribe now, but it still feels like something is missing. Not sure what.
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Mrs. Picky Pincher says
Agreed! There are so many points of view and lifestyles out there that it’s hard to find people just like you. But it’s also about learning to coexist with other people, too. I’m having trouble finding my tribe, mostly because I’m shy, but you can find tribes online too. 😉
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Mr. SSC says
I find it easy to talk to almost anyone, because regardless I can usually find something to talk about. I am realizing though that I’m more of an introvert than I previously thought. Getting the inertia to go spend time with people is harder for me than when I’m actually there. I feel like I’ve found a tribe here in the PF community, but IRL, nope, I’m in a social desert currently. It sucks. Sucks big time…
In our neighborhood, we’re definitely the odd ones out. Only 3 of us on a street of ~25 houses do our own yards. We’ve done cleaning services in the past and they’ve been a godsend. I still say to each their own, if that’s what they value. For us it was more than worth the expense – no excuses made on our end. We’re also the only ones without a Mercedes/Lexus/$60k+ truck or some other high end vehicle.
We’re looking at building our FIRE house sooner than later, and it will probably be a second home/vacation home for us for at least a year or two. Again, we’ve worked the numbers and decided we’re good with it. It’s all about our priority. Plus, it gives us a great escape plan from Houston. As soon as we hit our limit, financial or mental, we can say, “Let’s do it!” and then prep our current house for sale and relocate.
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Full Time Finance says
Honestly, I’ve already decided when our current riding mower (a freebie the previous owners left us) dies I will pay someone to mow the lawn. We have a large lawn, about 1 acre, and a significant 35 degree slope. I would not feel safe having my kids mow it, not that they could at 5 and 2). But we also have limited sunlight due to being in the woods. I mow the lawn about 6-8 x a summer. If I assume it costs 75 dollars a mow (probably closer to 50 but I’ll go to the high end), at most a service will cost me 600 dollars a year. A new mower would cost me at minimum $2K up front plus $100/yr in maintenance. Based on those number it would take me 4 years just to break even if my money earns no return and my time is worth $0. That isn’t true with my free riding mower, but after it dies we’ll most likely be paying someone. It’s a fine line. I agree with you on the ice cream though. (note: I might be able to find a used craigs list mower and perhaps my tune will change when I’m not trying to manage a 5 year and old and 2 year old while mowing. We shall see).
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Not that there’s anything wrong with that…….
This all boils down to what you want to spend your money on.
I think the pet peeves, disgust, bewilderment, bubble up because its the same people who complain about the bills they have to pay, the struggle to live paycheck to paycheck, they are the ones paying for these outside services.
I pay someone to mow my lawn because: 1) I don’t like to do it. 2) I can afford it. 3) I realize that the money I am spending on that *could* be going to something else but I choose to use it for the lawn mowing.
Isn’t #1 the main reason we are are all trying to retire early? Maybe not literally disliking/hating your job but the hating of being told what you have to do with 40+ hours of your week to get your paycheck from the man (or woman). 😉
Mr. Tako says
I think I can relate Carl. I don’t really socialize very well with my neighbors. They’re nice enough people, but just different from me. We don’t have a lot in common.
They’re more interested in what sports game is on TV or buying the latest tech gadget. Not my style.
So have I found my tribe? Not really. I think have more in common with other bloggers online than I do my neighbors.
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Mr. 1500 Days says
High-five Mr. Tako! Now I don’t feel like such a nutter.
I’m psyched about the online community that will hopefully result in some face-to-face meet ups as we travel (and as those travel to us). So it’s a tribe that will hopefully grow! I have friends but haven’t found it easy to talk about money – or even my early retirement. I feel like I have to tell them I’m still working to some extent. (That’s my problem to figure out – having a voice about where I am in life.) We have some frugal friends and many that DIY – but others just can’t be bothered, other than to bother us with how long they’ll be working because they can’t get ahead. These are the same people that drive nice cars, live in fancy houses and take trips that they brag about all over social media. I just don’t have much patience for that.
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I can count how many times we’ve talked to our neighbors on 1 hand, and we’ve lived here over a year. It’s kind of sad. But when everything around you is 80K+ cars and $1MM+ houses, there isn’t much community. It’s sad in a way. Our friends think we’re crazy that we walk downtown. It’s less than a mile one way.
There are some folks that we associate with locally, but it’s starting to be fewer and fewer. The further we go down the rabbit hole, the further detached we get from everyone around us. We’re valuing things differently. We actually have fun discussing things with folks online.
We just had a 2 hour skype call with some friends that moved away that we dearly miss. I think it’s time to set up another FIRE meet up for us locally. I feel like those are the folks that we fit in with, they’re just more interesting than someone who recently bought a 48 inch OLED TV and a new BMW.
Mr. 1500 Days says
Sad man, sad.
I think there is hope though: Even in the worst of places, there are lots of people like us. However, they fly under the radar and hard to find. It takes work to make connections.
I’d be curious to hear how your FIRE meetup goes.
Friendly Russian says
Finding your tribe is not easy, because you have to find yourself first. You have to find what’s really important for you. And sometimes it can be hard.
I am on the way of meeting great, likeminded people. And that’s so amazing.
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Mr. 1500 Days says
“Finding your tribe is not easy, because you have to find yourself first.”
Damn Friendly Russian, are you a part-time philosopher? 🙂
I’ve always had a hard time relating to others, and I feel like it’s only gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. I interact with fewer people in general now than when I was younger (up until I finished university), and the likelihood of finding people that are interested in the same things I am in the relatively small number of people I have contact with is fairly low. And when it comes to frugality, even my closest friends can’t relate to the way I think. My partner and I aren’t even super-frugal, we just aren’t completely frivolous with our money and even that is enough to make it difficult to keep our mouths shut when we see people, including our friends, basically lighting money on fire. So, in case it wasn’t obvious, no, I haven’t found my tribe yet. I have some close friends, but I don’t feel like I’ve met a group of people that totally gets me, and I’m not sure I ever will.
Mr. 1500 Days says
Hi Katrina, this makes me a little sad. I think you should check out the MMM forums and attend or even organize a local meetup: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/meetups-and-social-events/
I was terrified when I went to the first one, but it was wonderful and I made some friends there that I see regularly now. Even if you’re an introvert like me, you’d be surprised at how not uncomfortable you’ll feel at one of these.
Billie Jean says
I’ve found a lot more people who share my same lifestyle and financial values online than I have in person. I’m almost 30, and for a while (right after graduation) all my friends were still living the broke/frugal/college life. But now that we are older, a little chasm is forming. They don’t understand why we don’t go on vacations all the time, why we only have one car, and why we are perfectly happy with our 1,300 sqft house. We get made fun of a lot, but I just figure they’ll get it when we retire 20+ years before they do.
I do think it’s vitally important to connect with people who share the same values though. It certainly makes the eating out vs. potluck dilemma easier, but it also reminds me why I set the goals that I have and helps me stay motivated. It’s still up in the air as to whether the people who I consider my tribe value my presence 😉
Thanks to 1500 Days for cultivating a little FIRE tribe right here!
I’m fine with social interaction. I’m an introvert, but I can easily pass for an extrovert when I deem it appropriate. I work in software and know a lot of people that are introverted and terrified of human interaction. Like they won’t even say hello or make eye contact unless it’s business related. I look like Mr. Confidence compared to some of my co-workers with all my casual eye contact bold unsolicited salutations.
That being said, I find I have a hard time finding people with whom I can make a genuine connection. It’s been a long time since I’ve met somebody where I felt like we clicked and there was good chemistry. My interests don’t line up with most peoples. I don’t keep up with major sports, I’m not into video games, I don’t have TV, and the topics I do find interesting bore most people to tears (architecture, personal finance, programming for fun). I mostly hang out with my wife’s friends at this point. They all seem nice, but I still don’t feel like I could keep a conversation going with them for more than 10 minutes. Maybe they are just really bad at conversation too, but it gets exhausting when it feels like I have to keep the conversation going or they never ask me about my interests. There doesn’t seem to be much reciprocity. I ask all kinds of open ended questions to let people talk, but they don’t seem to have the same curiosity back.
The people I hang with are mostly older than us and have either professional jobs or are just further along in their careers, so they make more money than us. They tend to be spendy, but they don’t try to shame us in to spending lavishly. I think the people she has met are good people, but none of them are in the financial independence or early retirement crowd. The funny thing is that even though we know some individuals who make more than my wife and I combined, they are not in as good a shape financially because they haven’t been able to say no to fancy houses, cars, vacations, and bicycles.
In short, I guess I haven’t found my “in real life” tribe. I’ll have to settle for forums and blog posts to find people that share my interests.
Mr. 1500 Days says
“architecture, personal finance, programming for fun”
!!! Do you live in Colorado? I love all of these topics too. Add technology (autonomous cars, nuclear fusion (ITER in France), the Large Hadron Collider, battery technology, SpaceX), beer and fart jokes and we’d get along wonderfully.
“There doesn’t seem to be much reciprocity. I ask all kinds of open ended questions to let people talk, but they don’t seem to have the same curiosity back.”
Yep, this makes me sad because I notice it too. I was at a party a couple of weeks ago and by the end of it, I knew what every person did for a living and their vacation plans. Not one person asked me anything. Sigh…
So, are you in Colorado? 🙂
Yeah if a person doesn’t ask me a question about myself for every 5 I ask about them, I don’t talk to them anymore. People don’t know how to converse, they just co-talk.
Mr. 1500 Days says
“People don’t know how to converse, they just co-talk.”
So true. Most just wait to speak.
On the other hand, it makes it easier for an introvert like me to get along. I know they really don’t care what I have to say, so in a worst case scenario like an unavoidable social situation, I can just keep asking questions to keep things from getting awkward.
Steve Poling says
In defense of ice cream delivery. This goes way back. Probably to the days when most folks lacked freezers. I recall my father would get these wonderful 2.5 gallon buckets of rocky road ice cream and boxes of drumsticks. This was back in the 1960s and he bought from a fellow who drove a Schwans truck that made regular rounds. Skip forward 30 years and I was delighted to see a Schwans truck driving through my neighborhood.
Guess what I bought? Same as what my dad got.
They were still wonderful. I did this for about 10 years until the kids were out of the house and buying ice cream was no longer a good idea (regardless of how nostalgic those delightful calories made me feel)…
I was just talking to my wife about this the other day how it makes no sense. She drives a $700 van and loves it. When a person drives an old cheap vehicle they are seen as poor, but if they have money and drive the same vehicle they are seen as frugal.
Finding my tribe is seven different kinds of hell. I’m so grateful the blogging community exists, because there are no frugal, aiming-to-be early retirees in my ‘real’ life.
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Mr. 1500 Days says
“I’m so grateful the blogging community exists, because there are no frugal, aiming-to-be early retirees in my ‘real’ life.”
Keep looking! They’re all around; it just takes some digging!
Adine @ Average To Awesome says
This story sounds all too familiar! I’m still looking for my tribe, but if I cannot find it, I’ll definately just create it myself. Even though I really don’t mind being by myself (or with BF, of course), I love the flow of energy when you’re among like-minded people. And if it’s not in real life, then online.
Financial Velociraptor says
My tribe is mostly online. I’m trying to build a meatspace tribe but I’m the only early retiree I know.
And I pay for lawn service. Houston yardwork in August is hell. I don’t miss the 60 bucks a month and the lawn looks better than ever.
Mr. 1500 Days says
Are you coming to Dallas for FinCon?
As someone who has 0 tolerance for heat, I can relate to August yardwork. But wait, how about this? https://www.techlicious.com/blog/ego-lithium-ion-cordless-electric-lawn-mower/
The Roamer says
As a female I really don’t want to talk about the latest make up or designer hand bags.
But that hasn’t been the real barrier in finding a tribe. I think the biggest barrier is time.
I’m not sure what you mean exactly when you say tribe but I feel like it includes comfort-ability, feeling safe and at ease, open. But I think it includes spending time together too, time to be supportive.
I think you can form a type of tribe online but for me I need in person interaction as well. Or I just need to learn proper online etiquette for deepening relationships with people online. You know without it being too much.
Recently I have been going rock climbing and that has really helped me meet my need for connection. I am also taking a latin styles dance class and really enjoy spending time learning with my classmates. But when these events come to an end what is left?
I feel like you need to have more then just one thing in common and that has been my struggle even with the FI community.
I’m just going to come out an say it. I think the fact that I don’t make it a habit to drink makes me hard to relate to. In all my social circles.
Just like you look at people and say” Why do they have a cleaning crew, I just can’t relate”
I think people look at me and say ” you don’t like beer?, you don’t drink? I just can’t relate”
It doesn’t seem to matter what social circles you run in, enjoying an alcoholic beverage seems to be the minimum requirement to interact. Which leaves me in an odd place.
Mr. 1500 how do you deepen online connections with people?
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Mr. 1500 Days says
That’s ridiculous about the alcohol thing. No one should think twice about that. You’re making a healthy lifestyle choice and your reasons are yours. But I digress…
“I feel like you need to have more then just one thing in common and that has been my struggle even with the FI community.”
Having met you in person, I’m surprised. I have a hard time getting along with people and I thought we got along well. Maybe we’re just two weirdos! 🙂
I retired at 34 (although people continue to ask me to do things for money, which I quite enjoy), but I believe strongly in using excess wealth to remove pain points rather than acquire new toys.
So I’m here to offer you an explanation why someone who has the time and ability to clean their toilets might opt to pay someone else to do so: because I can afford to and because cleaning toilets fucking sucks. My whole life I’ve feel low level anxiety because my bathroom wasn’t as clean as it should be, and that I didn’t care enough to clean it. I didn’t want to clean it, or want to care about it more; rather I felt like I was supposed to. Now, for ~$40/mo, that anxiety is gone. A bargain at twice the price, even if I was still in hardcore asset acquisition phase. Those are the trade-offs that everyone has to make.
This is also a fundamental principle of frugality that a lot of the popular bloggers get wrong, in my opinion. I love MMM, but he misses on this one all the time. Frugality is about making conscious choices as to where you deploy your precious capital. It’s not about asceticism. And while there is tremendous value in hard labor (I do a lot of my own renovations, as well as have built a cabin from scratch on my own), there’s also the freedom of permitting yourself to hire out the things you don’t want to do, provided that doesn’t compromise your overall goals.
I’ll dig ditches, but I’m not gardening. I’ll hang drywall, but I’m not finishing it. I’ll install trim, but I’m not painting it. I’ll fix my lawnmower and motorcycle, but my mechanic will fix my car.
I’ll deadlift until I can barely walk, but I’m not cleaning my toilet. What’s the point of lifestyle design if I’m honor-bound to undertake tasks I hate?
Mr. 1500 Days says
I like mindful spending and agree with all that you say. However, I do think these luxuries should be avoided if you aren’t financially independent. Building wealth should be your primary goal.
I think I’d be careful of classifying “luxuries” for anyone that isn’t you, though. Glass houses and all; that’s the point I was making.
Ummm…. Where can I get info about having ice cream delivered to my house?!??
Just to think of the time I have been wasting going on line, building an ice cream list, paying for it and then waiting in a designated stall so the grocery clerk can bring it out to me (Clicklist ™).
If I can get it delivered right to the home, I wouldn’t have any of the stress or worry about it partially melting before I get home. I hate refrozen ice cream…almost bad enough to not eat it. 😮
Sarah Li Cain says
I sort of have a tribe, but because I lived as an expat and moved around so much, it was really exhausting to find new people in person to hang out with. I’ve got a lot of online friends who are awesome, but I miss interacting in person. I’ve joined a few mommy groups, but most want you to spend money to do an activity. I’d rather go to the park!
Mr. 1500 Days says
Check out the MMM forums: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/meetups-and-social-events/ I’ve met lots of great folks through meetups organized over there.
Chad Carson says
This online/FIRE tribe thing has been an awakening. Awesome people all over the place!
Locally, my wife and I have tended to find our tribe by participating in group activities we enjoy – like ultimate frisbee (back in the day), starting a nonprofit to get a greenway trail in town, yoga, basketball (me), etc.
Here in a ecuador we have found both locals and expats in a running club, at morning Zumba classes (free in local park), on an expat Facebook group, at basketball (again, me), and at the playground as our kids play.
I think putting yourself out there and getting involved in your passions puts you around cool people.
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Captain Cactus says
I wish I could find a “tribe” here in Connecticut. Ever since I moved here I’ve never felt like I fit in.
Mr. 1500 Days says
Hey CC! I’m sorry. I’ve felt that way most of my life. We have friends all around us; they’re just stealthy. Check out the MMM Meetup forums: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/meetups-and-social-events/
I was terrified the first time I went to a meetup (I’m waaaaaay introverted), but it incredibly fun.