Hi there, Mrs. 1500 back again, from a summer hiatus.
Background Noise
As Mr. 1500 told you, I have a new job. The littlest 1500 started full day Kindergarten in mid-August, and I had been thinking about getting some sort of job to do while the girls were in school. In May, the perfect opportunity came up, and I couldn’t say no. They practically bent over backwards to accommodate me, and the least I could do was say yes…
So Mr. 1500 still has a regular 9-5 job (Mr. 1500 note: more like 8-6. [Mrs. 1500 sub-note: more like 7-7]). I still am sort of a stay at home mom, at least during the summer because the girls were out of school, all the camps had filled up, and I didn’t really have steady childcare. The neighbor girls were amazing, helping me out 3 days a week. And it was really nice to ease into work again after 8 years off, rather than going straight from mom to employee.
Yes, I know being a mom is a tough job. I am not belittling it, or trying to make it sound like it isn’t important. I stayed at home to raise my girls for the last 8 years. But I truly believe there is a difference between being a stay at home mom, and working outside of the home for a paycheck. For one, I can stay at home in my pajamas all day long – and have (Mr. 1500 note: I’m looking down, shaking my head and sighing. At least she brushes her teeth.)!
For another, when I am at work, they expect me to be presentable, with teeth brushed, hair combed, and not smelling like baby vomit. Not a necessity when you are staying at home. (And I like how Mr. 1500 is talking smack about my not getting out of my PJ’s. What do YOU wear, buddy?)
We Finally Get to the Question
But I totally digressed. Today, I want to hear what you have to say about how much should you have. I’m not talking about money – I’m talking about stuff (Mr. 1500 note: Mrs. 1500 has NO shortage of stuff). For those of you who remember, I come from hoarders. My mother likes to keep stuff around, my dad can always “use that for something” and my brother could be on one of those TV shows. My sister – who coincidentally is adopted, making a strong case for nature over nurture – is the neatest person on the planet. She can’t go to sleep at night if there are dishes in the sink. More than a touch of OCD, but not enough to be on a TV show.
As we finish up our house, I am finishing the unpacking, too. (About time – for those of you keeping score, we just celebrated our 2 year anniversary in this house.) There are things I couldn’t find, so I bought another, even knowing I had one “in a box, in the garage, somewhere.”
But there are other things I know I have too many of. (Again, for those keeping track, this list is 100% First-World Problems. I get it. Life could be so much worse. My “problems” are really not problems. But it’s my blog – OK, Mr. 1500’s blog but I’m sleeping with him so I get to claim it – and I can talk about whatever I want.)
Digression, thou art a bitch…
OK, NOW We Get to the Question
So I have too many things (Mr. 1500 note: Vast understatement). I think the biggest problem is that I know how much I spent on most things in my house. (I can’t do division, but I can remember how much I paid for those shoes 6 years ago. Sigh.) So I can’t, in good frugal consciousness, toss out something I paid good money for. When I say toss out, I mean remove from my house. I donate almost everything that leaves us, except for those few items in such a state of disrepair that even the thrift store would turn up its nose.
(Mr. 1500 note: At one point, our children had over 50 pairs of shoes between them.) (Mrs. 1500 rebuttal: Both children are girls. It makes no sense to take shoes outgrown by the older one and toss them, only to have to purchase them in 6 months for the younger one. So most of those numerous pairs were waiting for the little one to grow into, and sometimes shoes fit differently than others, and almost every single pair was a hand-me-down to begin with. But yes, even I have to agree that 50 pairs is too much for our little Imelda Marcos-in-training…)
But those of you who don’t remember, we moved from 4,000 sq ft, to 1,800 sq ft. All the stuff doesn’t fit. Some of it has to go, and while it is easy to get rid of some things, it is difficult to toss others.
I have six hairbrushes. (Mr. 1500 note: Six is the number we can find at the moment. There are many more.) I have one head. There are four of us, but one of us has 1/2″ long hair. He could go years without brushing it. I keep one in my gym bag. The girls could each have one in their (shared) bathroom, and I could keep one in mine, and we would still have two extra. What do you do with extra hairbrushes?
I have 19 pillowcases. (Mr. 1500 note: WHAT???) Again, there are four of us. And they came with sheet sets, it isn’t like I went out and bought them specifically. But still 19? We have four pillows for four heads. We have two additional pillows for guest heads. But even if I kept duplicates for wash day, that still leaves me with 11 too many. Do I toss them?
Some things I have purchased specifically for staging our last home to make it sell quicker. Some things I thought I wanted, but it turns out I don’t use them. Some things are for the girls, who are about 2 sizes apart right now in clothes and 3 sizes apart in shoes. It doesn’t make sense to toss shoes that don’t fit the biggest little 1500, when the littlest 1500 will fit in them by the end of the year.
My sister is ridiculous. She throws away anything she hasn’t used in a month. She literally has the most sparsely-furnished house on the planet. She is the absolute opposite of a hoarder.
I want to stop. I’m making good headway in my battle. But there are still days when I think “I can use that someday.” Ah, ‘Someday’, the bane of all hoarders. I haven’t been to my brother’s house in years. They have 4 kids, and it hurts me to see all their piles of crap. It makes me angry that they are showing their children this is an acceptable way to live.
And then I feel bad for being so judgmental. Sigh.
No, Really. NOW We Get to the Question
So, back to the original question, if you are still reading… How much stuff do you need? Do you need only one? Doubles? Nine? Does it depend on the item?
Boy, this felt good. I miss you guys. I missed writing to you. Now that the girls are in school full time, I should be able to pick up this Ask the Readers thing again. I’m so excited about that! I’m literally jumping out of my skin…
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Good to have you back 🙂
I constantly ask myself this question, especially since I have a small household and I get the urge to declutter every time the seasons change. If I never or rarely use something and someone else would use it often, that’s a pretty good indication I should get rid of it. But then there are things like dresses and dress shoes which I hardly use but are hard to find and therefore harder to part with.
I will say that for most of the stuff I’ve gotten rid of, I rarely think “wow, I wish I’d kept that.” And for the times I have, I just shrug and make do because it’s usually not a big deal.
Thanks for reading, Beth.
I still have clothes that I’m trying to fit back into from before pregnancy. I first got pregnant more than 9 years ago. Time to let those go. They are hard to find, but how stylish are they, 9 years out? No one looks at me and thinks, ‘wow, she’s got style.’ Pretty sure they are thinking, ‘yup, she’s definitely got kids.’
But there are things that need to go. Things that just don’t get used. The season is changing, maybe it’s time to declutter summer things.
Good question. I recently read, Essentialism (by Greg McKeown), and he talks about a cluttered closet. He suggest..”Instead of asking, “Is there a chance I will wear this someday in the future?” you ask more disciplined, tough questions: “Do I love this”….If the answer is no, then you know it is a candidate for elimination.”
Since I’m married to Mrs. Budgets and if she finds that I’m not using something anymore, she will most likely post it on Ebay.
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Thanks for reading, Mr. Budgets.
I’ll add that book to my reading list. Do I love it? I can think of a LOT of things in the closet that I don’t love.
Over the years I have found that I really don’t need much. More stuff means more things to lose/misplace ( which I do a lot), more laundry, more upkeep etc. I have about five pairs of shoes and not a lot of clothing. To me less is more and the extra money is just another benefit of having less stuff.
Congrats on new job! I just re-entered the workplace after a three year sahm stint and the downside is i need more clothes. Ha!
Yes! I work from home 3 days a week, so I don’t need that many more clothes, but jeans and crappy t-shirts just don’t make the grade. I found myself wearing the exact same thing every single week to work over the summer.
I like the comment above you. “Do I love it?” Lots in the closet I don’t love.
I’ve got a similar issue to you. I am sure we have 6 hairbrushes, maybe more. And paring down on kids shoes was a task I had scheduled for last weekend, that did not get accomplished (the weather was too nice). I’m not a pack rat, but I have trouble throwing stuff away. Sure – if it can be donated, that is easy. But, I have a problem throwing something totally useable in the trash (I mean, what do you do with extra hairbrushes, or shampoo you don’t like, or barrettes and hair-ties you no longer need?)
Mrs SSC recently posted…I’m grateful for first world problems
Well, my girls take care of the barrettes for me, they just lose them. I can lose hair ties by the thousands.
If you buy a shampoo you don’t like, give it to a friend? I don’t know what to do with those hairbrushes. They don’t go bad. I’m going to lose or break one. It seems silly to toss. I think we bought them because we forgot them on vacation, and they came two to a package, and it was buy one get one free. You can’t leave the free one…
Actually, I did that once. I wanted the one of something, but couldn’t use the other. I think I was on vacation and it was something big like diapers. I was pretty proud of myself for just getting the one.
All we need is love
The Beatles 😉
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Good one DGI!
I keep one of most things and usually can’t find it!
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Financial Velociraptor, are you Mr. 1500 in disguise? Some of our duplicates are in the tool department, because he loses them. I think we have 9 tape measures. More than one is handy, but 9?
We have no desire to end up as hoarders, but we’re not hard core minimalists either – and sometimes it’s tough to find the balance between the two. For us, the closest thing to a “rule” when it comes to enough stuff is “if there’s a place for it in our 1,100 sqft house, or you’re willing to get rid of something else to make space for it, then it’s okay to bring it in”. But that rule has to be used with the caveat that we really what whatever the “stuff” is. Bringing in stuff just because it’s cheap/free is a recipe for frustration sometimes since our house seems to have it’s own gravitational field – once something is brought into the house, it’s incredibly difficult to counteract that gravitational field to eject it from the house at a later time.
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Very true about the one in for one out. We try to practice that too. Only get a new shirt if your willing to get rid of an old one.
I have tried to practice that in the past. I think my mom made that a rule when I was growing up. There was this awesome thrift store in the poorest section of town. It was dirty and the workers wore gloves when they put the stuff out on the racks. But they were priced dirt cheap – one of my favorite shirts was $.20. Easy to pick them up and if you don’t like it, what’s the big deal, it was only $.20.
Yeah, I think the 1500 household has it’s own gravitational pull, too. Escape velocity is incalculable.
You two make me laugh! I am constantly working on downsizing and making sure that I don’t have duplicates taking up space in my place. That kind of rhymed.
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Come visit and toss my place!
Mrs. 1500 congratulations again on the new job how serendipitous that it came right at the right time.
I hear you Mrs. Pops, prevention is something that needs to be practiced in conjunction with eliminating. Because getting stuff out is twice… No 10 times as hard.
Mrs I’m sure your choice of words is also making it feel more negative then it has to be… I do feel bad tossing stuff but I only toss it when it goes in the garbage.
How much do I need? I’m finding out its less and less. Lately I’ve been purging alot and I’m even trying out a capsule wardrobe. So that I can trim my closet down.
You know what I think and I know it might be childish and silly but I think of toy story. If things (toys, anything) are sitting in storage the majority of the time then those items are not being loved and could be more useful to other people. That is why I like to donate and try not to toss anything.
I understand the whole kids thing I also save stuff from my 7 yr old for my 2 year old. But I try to keep it under control by keeping only my favorite and if that doesn’t work I just set a number limit like 7 t shirts 7 shorts. Cause new things always get added anyways in the way of gifts.
Hahah I guess I wrote quite a bit.
I’d enjoy hearing how you move past the maybe someday mentality.
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Oh 1 more thing I just thought of…having enough saddly isn’t a specific quantity… So I would use what you said earlier as an alarm bell.
” I bought another, even knowing I had one “in a box, in the garage, somewhere.”
I would use that as a signal that you have too much. Because you know you have it you just can’t find it…. I would pare down items until you aren’t having that thought anymore.
Why? Because that doesn’t mean you have to get rid of everything it just means getting rid of enough until the point that stuff is easy to track… That is what I am doing with clothing for Minnie Roamer. She has stuff she has to grow into some by years but its all in one place.
I did the same thing in the bathroom put all the extras up top but made a list so that I know what is there so I don’t buy extra unnecessarily.
Finding a home for everything will create a natural limit of how much you can have…and it will be 100% dependent on your own personal family’s situation and space…
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Finding a home for everything will create a natural limit of how much you can have…and it will be 100% dependent on your own personal family’s situation and space…
I love that!!! I did purchase the items knowing I had them in a box because I also knew we were in the middle of remodeling and unpacking wasn’t an option, but I needed it.
And here I find myself getting defensive. Yet another tool in the hoarders belt… Sigh. You are 100% right. I need to stop buying things I know I have.
My husband and I are trying to transition to a “minimalist household.” We have one set of bed sheets and 2 towels. In our kitchen we have 4 forks, 4 spoons, 4 knives, 2 cups, 2 mugs, 2 bowls, and 2 plates. I keep extra sets of these items in the basement in case we have company over. I’m hoping to get rid of a bunch of clothing next. It really is freeing having less stuff.
Thanks for reading, Kim.
I forgot about towels. I lent a lot of mine to a neighbor who was having flooding issues for a couple of years. I should get them back. I have a LOT of towels, too. But you know, I don’t miss them.
Fortunately, my wife and I kinda balance each other out when it comes to this (emphasis on kinda ). She hoards clothes, I hoard tools and such. She hoards receipts, I hoard mail. It is hard to tell what is too much until you’ve past the point. When we got our house, we went from a ~ 600 sqft apt to a ~1200 sqft house. The first thing we were afraid of, was filling it with junk. So we just remind each other: “do we really need it?” Just asking yourself that question periodically, helps keep the material possessions from piling up in boxes in your garage or closet. People often say “you can’t take it with you”, but on the other hand “you only live once” so if you want to “splurge” on 19 pillow cases because you like them, then why not? But remember: you can’t take it with you. =)
Thanks, Mattattack!
To clarify, they were in a box in the garage because we hadn’t unpacked yet. But yes, they shouldn’t be there…
This is super helpful, reading all these nice comments encouraging me to purge. I’m on my way to a conference, but I’m totally getting the garbage can out when I get home.
Welcome back! I don’t think there’s a right answer to this question: it’s about how you use the stuff you have. If you use all six brushes and all of those pillowcases, then great. But if you don’t use them, let them go so that they’ll get some use before they are no longer usable or in fashion (well, maybe not the brushes!). We definitely feel the pull to “stock up” before we retire, so that we won’t need to purchase things once we’re on a smaller budget, but try hard to resist, because we truly have more stuff already than we’d ever really need. But we use the “do we use it?” rule to guide us on whether to keep things we already have. If we use it, great, it stays. If we don’t, buh bye!
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Ooh, I haven’t even started to think about stocking up for retirement…
I was only thinking this morning how I’d not had an email notification from you guys – It’s great to have you both back.
I hate consumerism, in fact it’s one of the highest contributing factors to be now being as frugal as I am, I read a blog about someone who didn’t buy anything for an entire year. It lead me to going without buying clothes throughout 2015.
I could live on virtually nothing, in fact I’m proud to say I do. People can’t seem to understand why we don’t have TV, or don’t go shopping for pleasure but our lives have been so much happier since we stopped buying, consuming and hoarding stuff.
It’s a simple problem with a simple solution. Have your spouse start hiding your stuff, and you start hiding his stuff. Both of you hide the kids’ stuff. If, after a month in hiding, you don’t notice it, then you let the other person know that you’ll be throwing/selling/donating their ______.
Easy.
Eric
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Eric, did Mr. 1500 put you up to this? Don’t plant ideas in his head or he will start hiding things, then forget where he put them!
One time, we were living in this house with this weird storage closet at the bottom of the stairs. Mr. 1500 grabbed my car keys for some reason, and ended up leaving them in the closet. I couldn’t find them for months. I never lose my car keys, he always loses his car keys…
Good to hear you writing on the blog, Lynn and I haven’t seen you guys since our visit at Odell brewery!
Lynn and I pair things down pretty dramatically, we hate clutter. We always do a Spring cleaning and we box up things we haven’t used in the past few months. If they are still in the box 6 months later, we simply take the box to Goodwill.
All the best! Tell Mr. 1500 hello for us.
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Hi Steve. That was a fun day, let’s do that again!
I have seen this recommendation for moving boxes as well. If you haven’t opened it in two years, you probably don’t need it. And that is mostly true, but there are things like baby books that need to be saved. Of course, they need to be filled out first. I think right now they just have baby footprints stamped on a page…
I like this. I have been putting things in bags when I see them, but then the bags get tossed into the garage and moved around for a while. My parents were here recently, and they had some things to take to the thrift store, so I added to their pile. It felt so good to get rid of that stuff.
I wish we could rid of even more stuff. I absolutely hate clutter, but my wife likes clothes and shoes. While she doesn’t spend a ton of money on them she still has more clothes and shoes than I ever will. My goal, to at least feel clutter free, is to put everything in its place. However, it has been over a year and we still haven’t put pictures up of our wedding, different kinds of other things on the wall, etc. It won’t feel like home until we do and until then I feel a bit out of sorts, particularly with clutter.
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“My wife likes clothes and shoes…” Not an exclusive club, there Jason!
Don’t feel bad. Mr. 1500 and I have been married for 13 years and we haven’t even developed our wedding pictures yet. Sigh.
I have concluded my parents are hoarders. They can’t get rid of anything and just keep accumulating things in their little house. I don’t think my mom realizes her house would be so much bigger if she had less stuff. But she’s like a bird who likes shiny objects. She can’t help herself.
I am trying not to be the same. I’m not the neatest, so the less items, the less I have to organize. Plus, I’m not the greatest about getting rid of things, so I’m proactive and not acquire things.
There’s times I look around, and wish all the furniture would disappear.
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Savvy Financial Latina! I think we might be the same person.
We had a 4000 sq ft house, and to sell it, we needed to make it look like it had enough stuff in it. Plus I wanted new couches to replace the ones the girls peed all over as babies. We didn’t consciously move to such a small house, but I’m so glad we did. Now we need to purge some furniture. The oversized dining room table has to go. I’m talking to Mr. 1500 when we get back… Thanks!
You only need one thing, as long as it’s a good one.
Seriously, we do have a lot of stuff, but it’s all pretty organized. You wouldn’t say our house is cluttered. We tend to keep only things that “create joy,” although I’m not walking around touching every object like a weirdo. The worst thing is the Christmas gifts people give you when they don’t know what to give you. Cheese plates, guacamole bowls.. Stuff I want to throw out but have a hard time doing because they were *gifts*.
I feel really bad for people who have been identified as having “a thing” and then get inundated with gifts that are that thing. Frogs, NASCAR, baseball.. whatever it is, they end up with a collection of it whether they want it or not.
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I so hear you on the Christmas gift thing. I don’t have a “thing” so my mom kind of made a thing for me. I drive an Orange Honda Element. She took that to mean that I love all things orange. (Not even remotely true. Actually not a big fan, but the original orange color the Element was offered in is the perfect color for that car.)
I am now inundated with orange anything. ANYTHING.
I don’t want gifts, but when I say this, I feel like I am being rude. At Christmas, everyone asks me how we are handling gifts. I don’t want anything, my sister doesn’t want anything, my brother’s house will explode if they put anything else into it, and my parents have no room either. It seems like a no brainer to not give gifts, but I’m the only one who can see it that way. Maybe I’m wrong?
We’ve been trying to de-clutter this year. I find our stuff gets misplaced and we spend to much time looking for it, or it stressed us out because we know we have it and can’t find it. I like the idea of having less stuff, less to clean, organized, etc
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Apparently, Brian from Debt Discipline lives in the 1500 household too. That is EXACTLY us.
🙂
Brian @DebtDiscipline recently posted…Fanatic
Glad for you to be back! I come from a family of border line hoarders as well, nothing like the TV shows because the hoard was stored neatly in closets or shelves. I will freely admit that I have way too much stuff. How much do you need? Depends on what it is. While I think the idea of minimalism is interesting, I don’t think I can get there. I’ve recently had to declutter my mother’s home and I’ll say that there is a weight to keeping all the stuff. Mom wasn’t there when the decluttering occurred, and if she had been there not much would have left the house. While it makes her sad about the original cost of things given away, she hasn’t dwelled on it and is enjoying the extra space and organization to her home.
I also have too many sheets, too many towels and too many clothes. While I think it would be wasteful to just get rid them, I’ll not replace them all as they wear out and eventually I’ll be one of those people with just 2 sets of sheets.
You can donate shampoo and other toiletries to homeless/women’s shelters. Clothes/food/towels too
I’m bad for keeping books. I don’t buy them, they filter their way down from friends and family however I appear to be the ultimate destination. I should really donate them to charity but I think part of me just likes having a nicely stocked bookshelf in the corner, perhaps it makes me feel intelligent 😀
Otherwise the only clutter that seems to pop up is hair bands and hair grips from my other half. I swear they must multiply at night time yet come morning she can never find one. That’s because they are in my shoes, under the sofa and everywhere else apart from where they are meant to be!
Apologies, that last comment went on completely the wrong blog! Pesky RSS feed 😛
Haha – I don’t tend to hoard. I get great satisfaction in giving things away I don’t use. I definitely could be better at it, but it’s something I have gotten better at lately. I don’t need two big dresser drawers of t-shirts when I only really wear a dozen of them. I’ll be moving in the spring and will definitely do some purging.
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My wife’s answer and my answer would be drastically different. I am all for keeping tools/gadgets more than I am old clothes or extra furniture. In California, we don’t have basements, so if it doesn’t fit in the closets or on the storage racks above the cars in the garage we don’t have room for it. We have had a couple of garage sales that have been successful (but my wife goes to garage sales most weekends, so its 2 steps forward and 1 step back).
We have the same issue with our two little boys in terms of growing into the hand-me-downs. They are only 18 months apart, so the delay is very short!
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My first time posting on here. I love the site!
My wife and I have this conversation and ask this question all the time. When we first started we lived simply and for free in one unit of a 4-plex (house hacking, yeah!). We felt a little cramped, but it was simple and cozy.
Before our first baby, we moved to a nice little 1500 sqft house. My office was in the 3rd bedroom, baby in #2, mom/dad in the master. What did we add stuff-wise that mattered? A rocking chair, maybe? Nothing else I can really think of that changed my life for the better.
Both previous houses are now rented and we currently have we’re in an 1800 sqft house with a basement, a shed, a carport (uggghh!!). The basement fills up with spare appliances we find on craigslist, extra furniture (for staging to sell and rentals), etc.
I know it’s useful to have extra space, in particular for a home office and warehousing for business, but I often feel nostalgic for the little apartment or better yet our old tent and backpacks:)
I don’t think I answered your question, but it’s a good dilemma to think about. Thanks for sharing your story.
I like the way you think Chad, perhaps because we think alike? Our home that we live in now (and will live in for at least the next 13 years) is 1800 square feet as well.
Thanks for the kind comments and I enjoyed meeting you in person today.
One suggestion for duplicates, and donating is to find a charity with specific needs versus Goodwill. For example a place that offers emergency shelter to families leaving abusive situations, or natural disasters, where a set of pillow cases, someone having a new (to them) set of clothes, or mini toiletries can mean a lot. Sometimes that reframes one’s keep/ donate mentality. I agree with the above, that if you recall how much you spent on it, sometimes ebay or yard sale, can help you feel like you got some money for it. 🙂 Good luck! I also need to work on paring down. 🙂
I am confused, is this blog about early retirement or not? Seems like it’s more about hoarding as much money as possible and pretending to wanting to retire early, when in fact all of this is just a front.
Hi Scott, can you please elaborate? What do you think this is a front for?
I’ve always stated that my goal is $1,000,000 and no debt. I still have a mortgage of around $120,00 which I have interest in paying off early, so my solution is to accumulate $1,120,000; $1,000,000 to generate the $40,000 I need to live on every year with a little extra to balance my debt.
Even if I don’t make my financial goal, I’ll probably throw in the towel at 42. Not as good as MMMM, but I’m still very happy with that.