Mr. 1500 doing all of the talking today…
Lately, I’ve been thinking that perhaps my life isn’t on quite the right path. I am perpetually tired from being perpetually busy. While I have a great life and don’t really have the right to complain about anything, it can all be overwhelming at times. The problem may actually be this very blog. I’ll get to that in a moment.
Last week Two weeks ago, we asked what kind of car you drove. By far, the most common cars were Hondas and Toyotas:
- Brad from Richmond Savers: Honda Civic
- Mrs. Frugalwoods: Ancient Honda Odyssey
- Chris from Flipping a Dollar: 2006 Scion xB (Scion is a Toyota brand)
- Savvy Financial Latina: 2007 Civic (80K miles)
- Reader Kim: Honda Civic
- Done by Forty: Toyota Matrix (congratulations on manual and 100K miles!)
- Reader Sara: Toyota Corolla (congratulations on manual and 180K miles!)
- Reader CheapRN: Honda Odyssey
- Reader Joy: Toyota Prius (so sorry to hear about your wrecked Accord)
- Reader Jennifer: Honda Civic (congratulations on 184,000 miles!)
- The Roamer: Toyota Corolla and Honda Civic (It was pretty great meeting you and your family on Saturday. Thanks for taking some time out of your vacation to come see us!)
- Julia from Golopomo: Honda Fit (another manual, woot!)
- Reader Thomas: Another Honda Fit
- Norm from Ridinkulous: Honda Civic (PS: Your post about fees was hilarious!)
- Mom at Three is Plenty: Toyota RAV4 (glad someone else shares my Tesla lust!)
- Adam at AdamChudy: Toyota 4Runner
Others:
- Reader Ramona: Mazda Miata
- Retired to Win Alex: Dodge Dakota (146K miles, way to go!)
- Reader Henrik: 150cc Kymco scooter
- Gen Y Finance Guy: Hyundai Sonata
- Reader Tar Heel Dan: Acura TSX (technically a Honda, but a pricier brand, so I’m listing it separate)
- Andrew at Living Rich Cheaply: Another Sonata
- Reader Bob: Dodge 1500 (love that number!)
- Mr. FSF: Ford Focus SVT
- Anton: In the most unusual category, a Skoda Oktavia wagon (bonus points for manual)
- Reader Sara: 2006 Subaru Forester (nice work on 100,000 miles!)
- Reader Allison: Nissan Altima
- Reader Joe: Pontiac Vibe
- The Recreator: Jeep Rubicon
- Reader OnlyKetchup: (soon to be sold) 2013 Ford Raptor (congratulations on your FIRE awakening)
- Reader ProfitProphet: Saab 9-3, but he (or she) wants a Mustang (I like Mustangs too)
- Reader jenlarson79: Mazda CX-7
- Reader Tom: Dodge Durango
- Reader Kitstownie: Lexus RX300 (technically a Toyota, but a pricier brand, so I’m listing it separate)
- Jason from Reaching our Balance: Nissan Sentra
- Reader Peter: Mercedes C32 AMG (That is one hot car, but I’m glad you are on the path to FIRE now!)
- Simon from Lending Memo: 1998 Ford Escort (220,000 miles, manual. Simon my friend, you are killing it! Go for 300,000!!)
- Reader Thomas: Smart (may your turbocharger live fovever!)
- Reader Jenni: Chevy Impala
- Reader Wade: Ford Edge and Explorer
- Debtless in Texas: Mazda 6
- Reader CincyCat: 2005 Dodge Caravan and 2002 Chrysler Concorde (way to go on keeping those old beasts on the road!)
- Renee Simone at 7years2freedom: Acura TL (Hi Pearl!)
The biggest winners in my opinion own no car at all:
- Finance Valley
- Mrs. PoP: Bike!
- Erin at Succinct Scribbler
- Fervent Finance
- Stephen from Simple Economist: 1981 10 speed (nice work Stephen!)
- The Goblin Chief: Trek bicycle
- Dave at The New York Budget
- The Frugal Buckeye: No car because the company provides one. (Woot! A free car is the best car of all!)
- Reader Ben: Diamondback bicycle (agree with your thoughts on buying a new car; I’ve made that mistake)
Two things stand out for me when I listed everyone’s cars:
Japanese brands dominate: I come from a “buy American” family. My parents have never owned anything but a Ford, GM or Chrysler product. However, they paid the price. As a kid, I remember my dad spending countless hours under the hood of various clunkers seemingly every weekend. Anyone remember the awful Chevy Citation? For a long time, domestic brands were inferior to their Japanese counterparts and Detroit paid the price. Toyota and Honda came on very strong with better products.
I do believe that Detroit now has its act together. If I needed another vehicle, I’d strongly consider a domestic brand.
Your vehicle echoes your frugality: If you’re reading this blog, you are most likely a frugal person. That lifestyle is clearly reflected in your car choices. Most of the vehicles that you told me about are cheap to buy, cheap to maintain and last a long time. Big high five!
My cars
Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you about our cars. We have two quirky vehicles:
- 2003 Honda Element (145,000 miles, manual): We bought this because of its versatility. I can take the back seats out and haul 4×8 sheets of drywall or plywood around. Also, I can sleep in it. I’ve done this several times (none of them because Mrs. 1500 kicked me out mind you!) It’s been a great vehicle. Besides a seized rear caliper, it has been trouble free.
- 2010 Mazda 5 (90,000 miles, manual): We bought this because it has loads of room (seats 6), but smaller and cheaper than a conventional minivan. It’s been a solid, trouble free vehicle.
Our next car?
We expect to get at least 250,000 miles out of the Element and the 5. Since I work from home, it will take us a long time to wear either of these out. Most miles are put on when we take summer road trips with the children.
I mentioned in the original question that I had driven a Tesla and loved it. Piloting an electric vehicle was an epiphany. The first thing I told Mrs. 1500 after driving the Tesla was this: ‘internal combustion is dead to me.’ When I purchase another car 10 years or so from now, it will be propelled by electrons, not hydrocarbons. I’m sure of that.
Now, finally on to this week’s question…
I’m a bit overwhelmed at the moment.
A hike with Little D near Horsetooth Reservoir. Fort Collins is great! My job: I have a job which can be demanding and stressful. I put in a bunch of hours over the weekend to get stuff done.
- This blog: Writing here takes at least 10 hours per week.
- Our home projects: We are almost done with our home, but not quite. Normally, I wouldn’t care too much about finishing stuff like paint, trim and railings, but we may borrow against our home to fund another purchase. This will require an appraisal. Appraisers do not like unfinished homes. As a result, we are in a death race to get it all done before June*.
- Exercise: I’m sick of being out of shape.
- Family: Children want (and need) their parent’s time more than anything. If Little D asks me to help her with a puzzle, that comes first. Our older child is planning a business too, which I am helping her with.
My life will never be busier than it is right now. There is no free time. I don’t like doing something if I can’t put full effort into it. I have posts that I wanted to publish in January, but still haven’t found the time to complete. Life is overwhelming.
I’ve proposed drastic measures:
- Take the kids and run: “Mrs. 1500, why don’t you take the kids to the grandparent’s house over spring break?” Not having the family around would allow me to get a month’s worth of work done in a week. This plan was not feasible since tickets to Florida over spring break cost a small fortune.
- Stop writing here for a while: I enjoy writing, but it is the easiest thing to eliminate. Maybe I need a hiatus.
- Burn vacation time to get the house done: I’m taking the first week off in May just to swing the hammer around the house. It is painful burning precious vacation time for remodeling, but I have to do it.
- Hire someone to help me with the house: I have had a terrible time hiring help. The good guys already have more work than they can handle. I don’t dare go down this route.
Do you ever feel like this? How do you deal with it? Any suggestions for me? I’m tired, burned out and worn down.
*We are in very preliminary discussions with the seller of the property. We haven’t even talked money yet. So, we may bust our asses over the next couple of months to help along a deal that may not even happen.
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I hear ya! I am feel like I have been burning the candle at both ends. I have stressful and hectic life at times. I have significantly reduced my blogging (my blog is on life support) and online time overall. I am actually thinking about switching from a blog to an online journal – I will be able to maintain online but without the responsibility or pressure of hosting, posting etc.
I am also taking mindfulness stress classes – too early to say what impact this will have.
Good luck with your soul searching. Part of it might be personality. I find with PF bloggers we are always looking to the future and the finish line. There are some things in life that will never be “finished/done/complete/perfect/over.”
May recently posted…Net Worth Update April 1, 2015
May (and Mr. 1500), I found that blog writing can be changed from stressful demand to pleasurable activity by simply changing your expectations — and possibly your routine.
I changed my publishing expectations to posting a new blog article once a week. I changed my writing expectations to putting down on paper 200 words a day. And I changed my routine so that I do that while I am drinking my morning coffee and listening to classical music. So the experience isn’t just not stressful; it’s an enjoyable half-hour start to my day.
Try it — or your own version of it. You might like it!
Retired To Win Alex recently posted…How I Use My Freezer as a Frugality Tool
Thanks for the tips Alex. I really do enjoy it, but will probably dial it back, at least for the next 2 months.
“I find with PF bloggers we are always looking to the future and the finish line.”
This is a thought I have all of the time. I’m beginning to think that it may not be totally healthy either. I need to enjoy the present day as well.
“I’m beginning to think that it may not be totally healthy either.”
It’s not. Planning for the future has its place, but you should never give up your Todays for some hoped-for Tomorrow. Think of your time the same way we all (as PF bloggers or readers) know to think of money:
You get a salary of 24 hours every day. Some of that you simply have to spend on the essentials – sleep, eating, etc (the equivalent of your rent/mortgage and utilities). I suppose we could say that earning an actual salary/wage is also utilities spending, and FI is like getting solar panels and a ground-source heat pump (no more heating bill!).
“Busy-ness”, then, is the equivalent of being a consumerist sucka (thanks, MMM!), and burnout is the inevitable consequence, the equivalent of massive debt. So the response should be the same: figure out which of the things you spend your time on are genuinely important to you, then mercilessly eliminate everything else. Find “cheaper” alternatives to the necessities (eg. a reduced work-week, or maybe a reduced blogging schedule as May and Alex have suggested), and spend as much as you can bear of the freed-up time on paying down your commitments (the remodeling). Eventually, when your hair’s no longer on fire, you’ll suddenly find you have all this free time to spend on what matters.
So what to do right now? I know I’m a first-time commenter here (I think), but I’ve been a reader for quite a while. I don’t claim to speak for everyone, but I think most of us will understand if you decide to reduce your commitment to the blog, even go on hiatus. A funny thing about blogs is how personal they are. I’ve never met you and I don’t even know your name, but I care enough about your wellbeing to be willing to sacrifice the weekly delight of a Thursday Rant!
Alasdair, thanks for your thoughtful and kind response.
I think your analysis is dead on and I’ve never thought about it like this. I’m going to throw in another thing though:
I’ve been working hard for the past 2 decades. I’m no stranger to 80 hour workweeks and living a somewhat unconventional life. For example, it’s been years since I watched a TV show (very hard to relate to some people with no TV time). However, I haven’t minded it. Or at least I think I haven’t. I wonder if I’ve been deceiving myself all of these years? I enjoy some aspects of construction, but I’d rather be reading or hiking or biking.
So, perhaps the core issue isn’t that my priorities aren’t in the right order (this is an issue as they aren’t), but that I didn’t even take time to consider how crazy my priorities were. I need to do some deep thinking about the path my life is on because I’m convinced it hasn’t been right.
“A funny thing about blogs is how personal they are. I’ve never met you and I don’t even know your name, but I care enough about your wellbeing to be willing to sacrifice the weekly delight of a Thursday Rant!”
Ha, thanks much! This Thursday will be more personal than ever, but not so funny. At least not yet…
I know how you feel. I’m at a similar place in my life right now. I’ve started a new job, we sold our house, have to move by the end of the month and find a new place to live, and we also just had our second child a week ago. So a lot is going on and it’s stressful. In my situation, the blog and fitness have definitely taken a backseat to everything else. Those are the easiest things to fall off my plate as everything else is necessary/mandatory.
Selfishly, I would say to keep the posts comin’ because I really enjoy them and you are a very gifted writer, but I understand that other parts of life get in the way.
We only have so much time available, and we can’t change that, but feeling busy and stressed because of it is something that we can control. Mindfulness meditation has helped me step back within my own head and uncover why I’m stressed or feeling a certain way. Once I understand why I’m feeling stressed or angry or whatever it’s much easier to change my headspace and calm down. I recommend checking out zenhabits.net. It won’t affect the underlying fact that sometime there’s not enough time to do everything we want to, but it may help you feel better and accept it.
In any case, good luck and I hope this helps a little!
Frugal Buckeye recently posted…Woohoo it’s Friday – Time for House Hunting!
Oh man, thanks a lot for the kind comments. That really makes me super happy and super sad simultaneously.
I’ve been thinking about meditation for a while, but haven’t started. Why not you ask. Wait for it…
No time!!!
Sigh…
Thanks for the ZenHabits recommendation. I’ve already started checking it out.
I’m sorry to hear it, 1500! You really do have a lot on your plate right now. We’re not in this position right now, but when we are, we just try to eliminate any unnecessary drains on our time. But, I imagine you’ve already done that.
Taking vacation time to work on the house seems like a good idea to me. It stinks that you have to use up your time, but, sounds like it might be the best solution. I wish we lived near you so we could come help out.
I’d hate to see you stop writing here, but we’d all understand if you took a break (as long as it’s not a permanent break!). Good luck and I hope you can find some relief soon!
Mrs. Frugalwoods recently posted…March 2015 Expenditures
“Taking vacation time to work on the house seems like a good idea to me”
Yep, I just wish I could have a month off instead of a week.
This is a tough one – I’m convinced that most people who are focusing on early retirement are “completer/ finisher” personality types who are great at setting goals and getting things done. I have a constant list of things to do in my mind and I’m not able to relax until the tasks I have for that day are done (plus normally a few more). This makes for a very stressful life at times – as you’ve found, it’s often impossible to get it all finished – or at least not without significant sacrifice!
One of the best things I realised is that deciding NOT to do something is just as valid a way to “complete” a task as actually doing it – and gives me an equal sense of relief of something off my plate. Obviously this only works for things you decide aren’t important enough to spend your limited time / energy on – but even taking a small task each day off your list makes a difference.
The second insight I had a little while ago is that when I feel especially overwhelmed, it is normally because of one specific item that I’m either dreading, not sure how to do, think I will mess up, etc. Once I work out what that “anxiety inducing” task is, I focus on it first and get it out of the way – sometimes even just getting started on that task will make me feel more in control again and like I can cope with the rest of life’s demands.
Good luck – hope you keep writing the blog as I enjoy reading it but ultimately something may have to give!
Prudent Pound recently posted…Net worth summary & asset allocation – April 2015
“I have a constant list of things to do in my mind and I’m not able to relax until the tasks I have for that day are done (plus normally a few more).”
Yep, if I wake up early in the morning (4am), there is no going back to sleep because the list of stuff I need to do starts cycling through my brain.
Wow, your 2nd point really speaks to me. I had some anxiety today because I promised my older daughter that I would help her build a birdhouse. I had never done this before and didn’t know if I had the time. Thinking back, this was the source of today’s anxiety.
Thanks for the thoughtful response and “cheers” from across the pond!
Totally understand where you’re coming from. Renovating the kitchen while working full time with a bike commute (and trying to keep up with my running this season) has been physically and mentally exhausting at times. FWIW, our blog took a back seat, but we didn’t shut it off completely. We wrote when we wanted to write, and didn’t write when we didn’t want to. That has meant that while we used to post 4 posts per week, we were down to 4 posts per month (including our balance sheet and income statement posts which are the easiest to write!)… but I don’t want to take something I enjoy and turn it into an obligation that causes me more stress. I have enough stress in my life right now without creating more!
Mrs. PoP recently posted…PoP Balance Sheet – March 2015
Somehow, our lives follow similar patterns. You and Mr. PoP are us in another dimension!
I’m going to dial it back too.
I know how you feel…my wife just mentioned this morning that we need a weekend for our weekend. There just isn’t enough time in the day, in the week to take care of all of the things we need to take care of. Well for me, I often neglect my blog so it’s pretty impressive that you’ve been so consistent even with all that you have on your plate. I should stop complaining about my lack of time! Anyways…on a different topic, how do you like the Mazda5. I was looking into it if we had another kid. How’s the 3rd row, can you fit smaller adults or just kids? And I read the gas mileage isn’t great.
Andrew@LivingRichCheaply recently posted…The Rumors of the Death of the “Millionaire Next Door” Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
“I know how you feel…my wife just mentioned this morning that we need a weekend for our weekend.”
When I sat down to work this morning, I felt a sense of calm come over me. My high stress job was somehow better than my weekend.
Mazda 5 is great! 3rd row can accommodate an adult, but it is small. I’ve never thought about the mileage, but will now.
I feel I’m running myself ragged lately. We probably need a vacation, but I don’t how to take off work at this point. There is a lot of pressure at my company. My blog has taken a backburner. I’m concentrating on work, health and fitness, marriage, and zen at home. I will be back, but I’m afraid everything I post during this time of stress will just be rants!
SavvyFinancialLatina recently posted…Cut the Chord
Sounds like your priorities are correct! Do you teach classes? 🙂
I feel your pain. I worked on various projects pretty much the entire weekend and my job is similar to yours in hours.
Hope writing isn’t the thing to go.
Adam @ AdamChudy.com recently posted…Book Review – Unthinking by Harry Beckwith
Thanks Adam. We all need to buy an island and go drink beer and tropical drinks for a month.
For what it’s worth, writing is the first thing I cut when work/life gets too busy. It’s an outlet for me, so stopping writing does have a add-on effect of lowering my happiness and feelings of accomplishment.
But…
Something has to give. Writing usually is pretty low on my list of priorities, compared to work, time with friends and family, etc. The fact that is pays $0 makes it an easier decision.
Vacation time is a sneaky good solution, if you think you have enough left to still take any trips you’d want this year.
Done by Forty recently posted…Middle Class? How about Middle Quintile?
Thanks DB40. Writing is going to have to be cut. Somehow…
Take a full day from start to finish (24 hours) to do absolutely nothing, every week. Allow yourself the privilege to enjoy this day. Zero work for the entire family.
Use this day to enjoy all the good things in your life. Your mind will relax. Too, during the week when you are pushing yourself your brain will know that down time is a few days ahead. You may think you will be wasting precious time. Not so. You will become more productive.
Now, while I fully believe you need to do the above. I also believe one has to make choices daily, to keep the main thing, the main thing. Only you can decide this one for yourself.
I am a Christian. I try to keep God the main thing. He then helps me to prioritize life from his perspective.
“Take a full day from start to finish (24 hours) to do absolutely nothing, every week.”
This sounds so foreign to me. Also sounds very good. I’d love to be able to read for 4 solid hours. Some day…
I will dial it all back soon.
Besides wife/kids/family come first, is there ever a correct way to take care of such things? You got it right on using your vacation time to get the house done quick, but from my previous remodeling experience, you have to find balance between taking care of it all and just plain relaxing. Perhaps you could plan a work party with a few friends to lend extra hands to speed things up over your vacation?? (I’m in) Look at the bright side, after buckling down and getting it done, you can kick back with a beer knowing there is nothing left to finish and you have a piece of profit making real estate in your near future. That’s three wins in one 🙂 You’re close. Hang in there.
the-recreator recently posted…From Cave to Teenage Man-Cave??
Work party! Do you work for beer!?!?
Yessir!!
the-recreator recently posted…From Cave to Teenage Man-Cave??
I’m going to agree with Done by 40, that when things get busy, my writing takes a break. This can mean many things including breaking the routine of posts from 3 days a week to a once a week, asking guest posts, or even just simply taking a week off. When it really comes down to it, it’s what matters most to you.
Even Steven recently posted…Ask the People: What Do Like? What Do You Loathe?
Thanks Even. Looks like you volunteered to write a guest post! When can I expect it by?
Guest Posting on 1500 Days, how much beer do I have to buy you for this dream to come true?
Even Steven recently posted…Doing It Yourself, Just for the Satisfaction
Even, any time! Let me have it we’ll go from there! Need some ideas? Hit me up over email. Bounce some ideas off of me and we’ll go from there.
PS: I’m the one who would owe you a beer.
I definitely hear from where you are coming man. Although I (luckily) don’t have a family right now, I am finishing up the last semester of law school. It seems like I have about a million things on my plate right now and I am honestly questioning whether or not I can finish it all in the next few months.
As for your question, it seems to me like the biggest thing is that all the stuff you listed is obligations to others. Obligations for your job or for your family in some way, heck, even this blog I am sure feels like an obligation with all these people who expect posts. Again, since I am single this might not apply to you, but the number one thing I do is always take some time for myself. It has been the one thing keeping me going in school has been to make sure I always set aside an hour a day to not do anything that I “have to do” or “should do” but just something that I want to do and that I enjoy. This might be difficult in a family situation, since, as you said, if the kiddos say they want help or want to spend time with you, you can’t really say no. So maybe find something that you and the whole family can do that you want to do.
As for finding that time, well, as much as I hate to say it, the number one thing it looks like you could cut out up there is the blogging. Luckily, you are not a blogger who relies on the income of the ads to make ends meet, so if it has to go, it has to go. The other thing that I would say on this point is this: I haven’t read all the posts on here, but from what I understand, you started posting on here as a fun outlet, that this was something you were doing for yourself. This post makes it clear that this is no longer the case. So maybe a break is in order so that you can rethink it. Maybe you come back refreshed and re-energized and wanting to do it for fun again, maybe you just post the occasional guest post on other blogs, or maybe you just not blog at all and just read an comment on other blog posts. The bottom line is that this is not your job, this seemed to me like it was for fun. If it is no longer fun, and it is feeling like a job, then it is time to take a break.
“As for your question, it seems to me like the biggest thing is that all the stuff you listed is obligations to others. Obligations for your job or for your family in some way, heck, even this blog I am sure feels like an obligation with all these people who expect posts. Again, since I am single this might not apply to you, but the number one thing I do is always take some time for myself.”
Wow, that is totally correct, but I’ve never considered it like that. I haven’t really made time for myself in years. This is a great insight and I appreciate it.
I am going to cut back. Just telling myself that already lifts me up a notch or two.
Thanks again and best of luck completing your studies.
I have a job that requires my time during all hours, nights and weekends. It’s tough to find the balance. I find I sometimes take my work frustrations out on others that I should not be.
I like the idea of taking some vacation time to finish the home project. It accomplishes two things for you, hopefully reduces stress from work and gets your home project done. Reducing your frequent of posts might help as well. It’s really a person choice that will work best for you.
I guess the thing to keep in mind it that many others face these same type of challenges in their daily lives too.
Brian @ Debt Discipline recently posted…Financially Stressed Colleague
Thanks Brian, I sometimes get crabby around the wife and kids too. I need to slow down.
Do you ever feel like this? YES, right now actually.
How do you deal with it? We’ve started a de-clutter and are taking a 3 week holiday shortly. Both take time en effort, but work very therapeutically. A daily short walk also helps (we have a dog for that ;-).
Any suggestions for me? Delegate! And if that is not possible, make a priority list and start dumping the stuff on the bottom (which you have clearly done already).
Good luck, you will get here, although “we” would miss your fun articles.
Mr. FSF recently posted…2015 Saving Rate
Thanks FSF for the advice. I’d love to delegate, but just can’t. It’s very difficult to find good construction help. I need to complete it on my own. Sigh…
I do love walking though. No matter how busy things get, we never skip the family walk.
Will miss your posts if you decide to stop blogging but it is totally understandable. (Yours and J Money’s blogs are my favorites — you both crack me up!)
And I know from experience that while fixing up your home yourself saves money and you learn new skills, it also is a pain in the butt and gets old real fast.
Good luck with your decision!
Thanks Jules, really appreciate the kind comments.
I’ve felt a little bit of this lately and I took this past holiday weekend off from anything “effort related”. No real-job work, no blog work, and no working out. Just family time and relaxing (and eating…a ton). It’s nice to re-charge the batteries every once in the while even if it’s for only 48 hours.
Fervent Finance recently posted…How much house can you afford?
Eating a ton, love it!
I’ll have a break in the beginning of June.
Here’s what I read (filtering out some stuff):
“I believe so strongly that this possible real estate investment is the path to financial freedom and future simplicity / free time that I’m willing to make following the path suck”
And my thoughts, after having an investment property, and doing some remodels, and working weekends on the main job, and raising a kid, and achieving financial freedom, is that you’re probably wrong that the real estate investment will in any way simplify your life or be The Thing that moves the needle and grants you freedom.
Main underlying experiences that make me say that: investment real estate will complicate your life not simplify it (it’s like investing because you’re capital is all at risk, but also involves debt, really complicated tax situations, damage and maintenance, and a touch of the hospitality industry, hooray!?), and the investment won’t grant you freedom – only you can grant yourself freedom.
You guys are clearly so far along on the FIRE path that you are going to get there. In short order. But once you get there your life will be as hectic as it is now unless you start making different decisions about how you commit your time. Stuff like Schwab’s new free roboadviser vs single family real estate, in other words. Passive, passive, passive…
Then instead of being on a death race heading into the summer, such that you’re still burnt all summer, you can give yourself some breathing space *now* by just letting your house stay unfinished for a little bit, then re-starting/re-building fitness habits and be recharged for the kids during their summer, having an altogether better time
All very respectfully and “IMHO” etc, but self-diagnosis of burn out is always pretty far along in the process isn’t it? Stop it now and change course for real before more precious lifetime is lost 🙂
Best of luck!
Hey Mike, this is all very wise. I too think about the pain that an investment property will cause. If I could nail this property down, it would bring in $5,000/month. Since we live on less than $4,000/month, I could leave my job.
I know, I know, I could probably leave my job now anyway if you trust the 4% rule.
“self-diagnosis of burn out is always pretty far along in the process isn’t it? Stop it now and change course for real before more precious lifetime is lost.”
Wise words my friend. Once you think you may be getting burned out, you’re probably already past it….
Life is indeed precious. I need to think on all of this.
Thanks for the insight. My brain is churning.
How about cutting a little from everything? Your work clearly doesn’t need you every second or you couldn’t take vacation, perhaps you could postpone some project there? For one month, you could be somewhat less available to your kids, they most likely won’t even remember it except as Dad did all of the work on the house. You were happy to send them away, so less time with you there is more than if they were in Florida. Surely, you can cut back on the blog. Lots of small cuts could add up to enough.
Yep, lots of small cuts is a good solution. I just need to figure out where to cut from.
Burning both ends of the candle is challenging, and you can keep it up for so long before something gives. I know you’re not OK with hiring help to finish the house, but what about other tasks you might be able to hire out – like grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, etc. (unless Mrs 1500 does all of that). Generally, there’s a hit to the wallet when you want to “buy” yourself some time.
List out everything you have to do, and drop just one thing that’s not making you happy and not time critical. If it makes you happy, it’s definitely worth keeping in there to make up for the non-happy making stuff that has to go on as well.
Good luck with whatever choice you make. I enjoy reading your posts, but completely understand if it needs to take a backseat for a while.
Mom @ Three is Plenty recently posted…March 2015 Early Retirement Progress
Thanks Mom! I’m definitely not going to stop writing completely, but I need to cut it back, at least for now.
I think it is really natural to feel a bit of burn out every now and again. I typically have 1-3 days a year when I feel absolutely overwhelmed and drained.
When I start feeling that way I take the day off from work and from any side projects. Typically during this day off I will veg out in front of the tv (which is something I rarely do). I will even take a nap in the middle of the day.
I leave the Computer and iPhone off.
Really the only rule is that it must be 24 hours of absolutely zero productivity. The only exception being exercise, because this naturally releases feel good hormones like Dopamine and Serotonin. Many times I will work out harder and longer than normal since I am not on a time crunch and I want to ensure that afternoon siesta.
Many times after my nap I have driven my dogs down to the beach or dog park and just hung out playing with them.
I am not a big drinker, but I do tend to “let my hair down” and have a few glasses of wine in the evening as well (which I usually reserve for the weekend).
Regular exercise definitely helps combat this feeling most of the year. That’s why exercise is one of the first things I do in the morning before anyone else is even awake in my house. It really sets your day right, and those chemicals I mentioned are the perfect (and natural) high.
Hope you find a solution that works and allows you to keep putting out content here.
Cheers!
Gen Y Finance Guy recently posted…March 2015 – Detailed Financial Report #3
I can’t imagine 24 hours of doing nothing. That sounds great. And the friggin’ beach. I could sit there for hours and watch the waves. Our Pismo Beach trip is coming up in June. Wish it was tomorrow.
All the damn time. I’ve instituted several changes.
Only 1 blog post per week. It gives me a breather. Also one per month is just a financial update and that also is a mental breather. If I had more time, I would post more.
I’m pretty rigid with my mornings although my wife just messed it up (switching her work schedule a bit). I would wake up at 5, eat till~530. Talk with the wife from 530-6. She’d go shower and get ready while I’d work on eBay stuff.
At night, no listing unless wife and daughter are asleep and I don’t have to wake up early.
Also a biggie, Low Tech Thursdays. It lets my wife and I have a nice night with our daughter just doing random stuff around the house or outside now that it’s warmer.
Finally, minimizing TV watching. I don’t like it to be more than 1 hour per day. Movies on a weekend are an exception, not the rule.
Chris @ Flipping A Dollar recently posted…March 2015 Profits – Still not Great.
Low Tech Thursdays, love it!
I never watch TV, so can’t eliminate that. I’l busy from dawn to the time my head hits the pillow.
I take the concept of Sabbath rest very seriously. Taking one day a week to do nothing has been one of the most helpful things in my career and in our marriage. My husband still sneaks around and installs curtain rods, but no homework and no hardcore renovations makes us both really happy.
Nice. I could take a lesson from you two.
Burning both end of the candle is tough to maintain for a long period of time. If I were you I’d definitely take some time off and recharge. Blog related work can wait, family time and your health are more important.
Tawcan recently posted…What you focus on expands – positive approach to life
Yep, but I have a hard time stopping. Very hard. I just can’t shut it down.
I would highly recommend the book “Overwhelmed: Work, Life, and Play When No One Has the Time.” I started reading it because I was looking for effective time management tips. It did cover that, but also covered much more. It talks about the importance of equal partnerships, theories around how we learn (or don’t learn) to make time for play, and companies that are experimenting with the definition of the “ideal worker” in order to create more effective and happy employees. Since reading it, I find I am more intentional with how I spend my time and more aware of giving myself proper balance so that I can be most effective in work, love, and play. I still have a long way to go, and I’m nowhere near perfect on this, but the book did help me make progress in the right direction. It does focus on women a lot, but it discusses how men are experiencing the same overwhelmed feeling now too since romantic partnerships are becoming more equal, and so I think that the book is relevant to men as well. Good luck!
Thanks Bojangles for the recommendation! I’ve added it to my library list.
I feel your pain. I was working 60 to 65 hours a week at my job. I just bought myself a part time job that is currently taking another 10 to 15 hours of my week. This past weekend, I mowed my lawn for the first time this year. Yeah, it was out of hand. I finally had to force myself to limit my “working time”. I now have a time I leave my job no matter what. If I can’t finish, it waits till the next morning. I also have limited my time at the second job. I was pushing myself too hard and I was tired of being tired all the time. Family first. The rest will have to wait.
Randy aka Mr. Nickels recently posted…Mr. Spock Would Say That Emotional Investing Is Not Logical
Thanks Randy, wise words. I need to figure out how to cut myself off too.
I too feel like I am burning the candle at both ends. I am teaching my normal load, plus three overloads, taking care of my wife while she recuperates, try to take care of all of the household items, and still maintain some semblance of sanity. The truth is the biggest thing falling off for me is my writing. Not blog writing, but sustained writing on research. I used to pump out stuff more than anyone at my university. The past year I haven’t done that and I don’t like it. It makes me uncomfortable.
However, the dirty secret is, and I think you probably have this as well, you have earned a little hiatus. I spent so much time working that not doing something seems a bit foreign to me. I am busier than ever, but not on the stuff that I want to do. I just don’t have the time so that item is sacrificed for larger items.
I think that taking some time away from your blog or smaller items is fine. You have earned a hiatus from some things.
Jason recently posted…Paying Off Debt Update
Thanks Jason. I am going to do just that. Stay tuned…
I guess you might know what I did to get back more time. Not blogging gave me more time to just “be” and, although I miss the coolest people on earth who visited us there, I did change a lot in the past year. Right now, any other suggestion I have – like meditation or yoga (which has saved my butt due to health concerns this past fall), would just add to your plate, so I’d say cut and then add what you truly love. Though, that said, I know you love this blog (and we all love you both)….so…I guess just drink a couple of beers as they’d be more helpful than my advice.
Tammy recently posted…Not a Beginning or an End, Just Living
Ha, thanks Tammy! A couple beers sound good, but alas, it is a school night! 🙂
I do like writing, more than home construction. However, the latter needs to be done while the former, not so much. Ahhh, what a quandry…
I can totally understand you and recommend:
Stop the writing for some time (we all sure will miss you!), if it is the easiest thing do. If you carry on, it might take away so much energy, that you could even start hating it one day. Better pull the plug while you still enjoy it.
Have you considered paying for some of the work that needs to be done on your house? This should also free some time (and might be worth the money, since you do not get back the saved time).
I had the same problems when I had some side business which I wanted to keep running but did not have the energy or time for. It took me five (!) years to realise it, but when I closed it, I felt refreshed and somehow free.
P.S. Maybe also the time has come to consider “taking the jump” into semi-retirement and scale down your work. Financially you are set, I think. But I also understand that it is really frightening to take this step.
Hi Thomas, I’ve tried to hire people, but good help is very hard to find.
Are you available? 🙂
I remember the “butt-crack builder” stories very well…
I was just hoping that the situation might have changed since then. (In Germany we have a website called “MyHammer.de” where you can specify your project and contractors will make offers for it. Until now I only had good experiences with it. Maybe there exists something like this in the US too?)
Although I would enjoy flying over from Germany, my leave days are completely planned already for this year. And I hope you will be finished with everything until next year.
You know, it seems to be a matter of geography here in the States. In Wisconsin, there was an abundance of good builders. In Colorado, decent people are impossible to find. I suspect it is a result of a healthier economy.
Stop by for a visit if you ever make it out my way!
I was in the situation last fall actually, and I’ve completely swung it the other way (where I end up with a little too much free time). My secret? Let things slide.
I was driving myself crazy, making sure I always had food in the Crock Pot (can’t waste money eating out!), getting work outs in, working full time, keeping my place clean, spending every free moment with my gf or friends (can’t leave people hanging, right?), making sure I was shopping around for the best deals, etc., etc., etc.
How did I fix it? I gave myself permission to slack off.
Grab take-out a few nights a week, let your toilets go uncleaned for a few weeks, and let yourself binge on a TV show or (in my case) a video game. Seriously, try it. I was shocked to find out that the world didn’t end. I was still taking care of the important things, my savings rate still hovers around 50%, and I still have all my friends and my gf. The only thing I lost was a heck of a lot of stress.
The problem is your life is too busy. Trying to do things more efficiently (so you can cram more things into it) is the exact opposite thing you want – and need – to do.
Just relax and know that you’re already doing things better than 95% of people out there. If you drop down to only being better then 94% of people, the world won’t end 🙂
Hey Keith, thanks for the suggestion! Not being able to let things slide is exactly my problem. However, I need to start. Thanks for the wise advice.
Nice drawings on your site! I wish I had your talent. Also, shout out to Wisconsin. We lived in the Madison area for 6 years and loved it*.
*Not the winters though.
Thanks! Drawing is one of those things I really should make more time to do…
Yeah, the winters here are pretty brutal… is it summer yet? 🙂
Is it summer yet? Ha! Summer in Wisconsin starts June 24 and ends around the middle of August.
Thanks for the kind words, Mr. 1500!
Wish I had some advice for turning down life’s volume switch. I tend to not let these things get out of hand in the first place. I keep large swathes of empty personal time on the calendar because I just can’t deal with even a moderately busy schedule. But we have some major outdoor projects to get done this year, and are simultaneously looking at buying a rental property. I’m already starting to think this is a bad idea, and we don’t even have kids!
A few years ago, I took a week off work to build a set of bookcases in my house, and that was great fun, so I would go with the time off.
Norm recently posted…For The Love Of God, Don’t Max Out Your 401(k)!
I felt compelled to comment because, like you, (and many other readers of this blog), I often push myself to exhaustion to achieve goals. I have made myself sick (nothing serious, just getting run down makes me more susceptible to whatever bug is going around) and even when I am well, operating on a couple of hours of sleep makes me feel like a zombie and doesn’t bode well for productivity. I readily admit that I do not live a balanced life and I am fine with that. People who have too many obligations – family, job, pets, relationships, children, houses — tend to be mediocre at everything. Concentrating on only a couple of things at a time allows for excellence. As someone wiser than I am once said, “You can have it all, just not all at the same time.” I have found that making time for vigorous exercise a 4 or 5 times a week is crucial to my well-being. I detest the gym so I play a sport that is challenging and fun. Most adults don’t play enough. Striving for FI is meaningless if you develop poor health due to inactivity and stress. My advice (not that you asked for it) is to pick 3 goals that you can achieve: a short term, medium term, and long term goal and devise a plan and timetable for achieving them. If you devote a set amount of time on designated days to these goals, you will succeed. Then you can set new goals. Love the blog posts from both you and Mrs. 1500.
Hi Lee-
I can relate to the “getting sick” part. If I’m tired for a couple days in a row, I’m almost guaranteed to get sick a couple days later. I used to never be sick. Sigh.
“Concentrating on only a couple of things at a time allows for excellence.”
That is a really powerful statement. If you can’t do something your best, why do it at all? You know?
Thank you for the wise advice and very kind words. Regarding the latter, that never ever gets old. Thanks for reading.
I’ll be the one to NOT give advice, as the advice above is good, but when I’m feeling stressed, hearing advice just makes me more stressed.
Okay, maybe a tiny bit of advice.
1. Give yourself permission to be human.
2. Fuck blogging on a schedule. Granted, maybe this is why I am small fry, but I only blog when I feel like it. Because when the ideas flow, they flow FAST. At least for me. One of my most liked recent posts was written in under 15 minutes, including edit time.
3. I wouldn’t recommend him for when you’re feeling crunched, but when you have a bit more time, I like David Cain’s blog Raptitude for a nice modern/western take on Zen. But he’s more long form than quick hit, so give it time before diving in.
Thegoblinchief recently posted…Liberation of Creativity
I like your #2 (wow, that doesn’t sound good). Ha!
I’m going to give up some days for now and make others easier days. Rants, while the most popular, are the hardest to write. So, I’m going to back off there a bit.
If I get down or burned out I typically take some time to evaluate why I’m feeling that way. If I were you I wouldn’t stop blogging. You have a nice following so you don’t want to mess that up. If I were you I would get help with the house.
Jason B recently posted…April 2015 Life Update
Hey Jason-
Yeah, the thing about blogging is that it isn’t work to me. I genuinely enjoy it. I need to scale it back slightly though. While it is important to me, it is least important right now.
Thanks so much for hosting me and the family! It was great to meet you and your family.
I have to say neither of you looked out of shape! Both looked in great shape. I hear you about being overwhelmed. Actually I think I once asked how do you all do all the things you do.
Guess its all a balancing act. I wish I had some great advice sadly time management is still a work in progress for me.
I think burning some vacation days is a good start . its a minor inconvenience and if it helps you clear stuff off your plate that’s the important part.
The Roamer recently posted…One More Year Syndrome
You are self-employed, you can take off as much time as you want (though you np may decide not to… ).
If you run an internship – I’ll come help finish your house for the diy training! Or help when you start the house flip biz…
Take a deep breath, relax… Start putting yourself on your very long to-do list.
Yeah, but client will be angry if I don’t get stuff done.
House flip business is coming up. Not until my current gig ends though…