I like to think that I have the mind of an entrepreneur. I’m always looking for creative ways to solve problems and have always dreamed of starting a business. That dream is about to become reality. I’ve had to keep it a secret until now. However, today I am able to tell you about my spanking new business!
Solving a pressing issue in my town
When you see a problem, you have two choices:
- Complain about it
- Do something about it it
A couple months ago, I wrote about how the poor residents of my town were suffering. At the local fitness facility, they were forced to park in the overflow lot, making them walk an extra 100 feet. My townsfolk were not happy and who can blame them? No one should be expected to put up with extra walking at the gym. What has the world come to?
My brain started churning. How could I help these poor people? I quickly came up with a solution, but it didn’t stop there. The ideas flowed and before I knew it, I had come up with a whole roster of services to make life easier at the gym. I wrote up a business plan and presented it to the manager of the facility. He enthusiastically embraced my vision which I present to you today. I’m proud to introduce my new company, I.D.L.E. (I Don’t Like Exercise).
I.D.L.E. will change the way you exercise
We are all stressed these days. We have awful jobs, crabby spouses and unruly children. We never have enough time for TV, video games or a heaping pile of nachos topped with heart clogging, fake cheese. On top of all this misery that life throws at us, we’re expected to exercise too? Come on now.
I created I.D.L.E. to make life easier at the gym. Through a menu of services, I guarantee that you’re going to start enjoying your gym time.
Valet service: Who likes to walk? No one! Now, you don’t have to. Drive up to the front of the gym and let a valet do all of that walking for you. This service will cut precious seconds off of the parking lot walk which you can now use for walking on the treadmill. You’ll wonder how you lived without I.D.L.E. valets.
Segway rental: What is even worse than walking? Running. If you say that you enjoy this torture, you’re clearly lying. It’s pure awfulness. With our Segway rental service, you’ll be able to “run” your laps in style! It doesn’t stop there though. We’ve outfitted the Segways with super-sized drink holders (64 ounces baby!) After a couple laps on one of these machines, you’ll wonder why you ever ran.
- Neighbor: How was your workout?
- You: Awesome! I did 100 laps! 8 miles baby!
- Neighbor: Whoah! You are a fitness god!
Snack Bar: I know what you’re thinking, the gym currently has a snack bar. But it’s stocked with food no one wants to eat. Granola bars? Vegetables? That stuff is for rabbits and horses. I.D.L.E. will take over management of the snack bar and the first thing we’re going to do is overhaul the menu. Goodbye nuts, hello funnel cakes! Goodbye Gatorade, hello 64 ounces of Mountain Dew. No diet items here, either. Pure cane sugar, just like it should be. After a couple laps on the Segway, treat yourself to a piece of pizza or hot fudge sundae. You deserve it!
Workout stand-in: You don’t change your own oil. You don’t mow your own lawn. Why are you still doing your own exercise? For a low monthly price, I.D.L.E. will provide you with an athlete who will do your exercise for you. Imagine sitting at home watching TV while your stand-in lifts weights, rides the exercise bike and swims laps for you. Incredible, isn’t it? For an extra $25/month, upgrade to a cheerleader or football player from the local college!
I.D.L.E. is coming to a city near you
I can’t tell you how excited I am about this new venture. Going into business marks a new and exciting chapter in my life. I love the fact that my business is going to help the people get to the gym (or not).
And this is only the start. I’m in talks to franchise I.D.L.E. and I dream big. Soon, I.D.L.E. will be partnering with a gym near you. Mention this post for 25% off the first month and a free churro from the snack bar!
Happy April Fool’s Day everyone!
Join the 10s who have signed up already!
Subscribing will improve your life in incredible ways*.
*Only if your life is pretty bad to begin with.
The Roamer says
April 1, 2015 at 1:13 amHahah oh man.
I thought you were serious… But it just kept getting more crazy!
The good part for you is I bet people would pay for some of those services
The Roamer recently posted…One More Year Syndrome
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:26 pmThis isn’t serious? I’ll tell you where to mail your check shortly to invest…
Jason@Islands of Investing says
April 1, 2015 at 2:12 amHaha, I love it!!!!
Scarily, this is seriously a genius idea! I’m prepared to invest if you decide to make it a reality 🙂
Jason@Islands of Investing recently posted…Surviving a walk through a minefield
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:27 pmRight on! Investors in the first round will get a Segway named after them and unlimited churros the first year at the snack bar!
Josh Collar says
April 1, 2015 at 2:56 amHaha, couldn’t believe it till I checked the date the post was published. Nice try…nice try…
Josh Collar recently posted…At The Break of Dawn
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:29 pm🙂
🙂
The Finance things in Life says
April 1, 2015 at 3:34 amDamnit!! You got me until the Segway part. Even though I knew what day it is today.
Although, if you decided to start up a new business it would definitely not surprise me. I think you have the drive Mr 1500. All the best to you and your family this April Fool’s day. I’m a huge fan of your blog.
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:28 pmThanks for the kind comments!
I really do want to start a business someday. It will probably be mobile apps, but that is a story for another time…
Wayne says
April 1, 2015 at 4:40 amBravo.
Mrs. Frugalwoods says
April 1, 2015 at 4:42 amHah! Oh those poor people in your town who must walk to the gym… now they must go through the trauma of registering for your program too–the horror ;)!
Mrs. Frugalwoods recently posted…Frugal Hound Sniffs: How Do The Jones Do It
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:29 pmFor an extra fee, we’ll register for them!
Sandi says
April 1, 2015 at 5:00 amHilarious – Happy April Fool’s Day!
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:30 pmThanks Sandi!
Mrs. PoP says
April 1, 2015 at 5:38 amHa! If getting others to exercise for you actually worked, it would be amazingly profitable. You wouldn’t believe the number of times I’ve headed out for a run and someone joked, “Run a few extra miles for me while you’re at it!” =)
Mrs. PoP recently posted…PoP Income Statement – March 2015
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:30 pmHmmmm, how can we make this work? Come on, you and Mr. PoP have entrepreneurial minds! We can make it happen!!
Jason says
April 1, 2015 at 7:07 amThis is a great idea. Any franchise opportunities available? 🙂
Jason recently posted…April Challenges
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:34 pmYES! Just send me a big check and you’ll be first (and probably last) on the list!
MattW says
April 1, 2015 at 7:23 amThe fatal flaw in the description that clued me in to the April Fool’s Day joke was “pure cane sugar.” If this had been real, it would have been “high fructose corn syrup.” Other than that, you may be on to something. No joke.
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:35 pmLOL! Yeah, there should be NOTHING natural on the I.D.L.E. food menu…
Even Steven says
April 1, 2015 at 7:58 amYou had me at super sized 64 oz of Mountain Dew, dreams can come true. You had me for until I saw the logo, good work.
Even Steven recently posted…Digit Saving for Paying off Student Loans
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:35 pmI know, I love Mountain Dew. That is not a joke. I avoid it though because I like having teeth.
Kate@GoodnightDebt says
April 1, 2015 at 7:59 amAs silly as this is, I bet a valet would work. People get so stressed about parking their car. It also cuts into their allocated workout time. Who wants to start a work out stressed and short on time? You could be their solution!
And I’ve always wanted to ride a Segway.
Kate@GoodnightDebt recently posted…Here lies Kate’s Student Loan…
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:35 pmI’ve always wanted to try a Segway too…
Fervent Finance says
April 1, 2015 at 9:08 amPeople ask me what gym I go to in NYC. When I tell them it is 10 blocks from my apartment, I get some weird looks and responses like “isn’t that a hike?” or “Planet Fitness is 3 blocks away!” COME ON PEOPLE!
Fervent Finance recently posted…How much house can you afford?
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:36 pmMan, I have to tell you that I love walking. I try to do a mile or so at least every day. After I quit, it will be more like 5 miles.
Done by Forty says
April 1, 2015 at 9:21 amI thought it was a great idea, right up to the point where I have to sign up for the services myself. Hello! Shouldn’t I.D.L.E.’s customer service reps do that for me?
Done by Forty recently posted…Middle Class? How about Middle Quintile?
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:37 pmOh wow, I need to hire you on as a consultant. How much do you cost per hour? 🙂
Jeff says
April 1, 2015 at 11:08 amHa!, very nice. Well, we can suffer together very soon if you want as I need to get back into shape after this move happens. Maybe I’m just sadistic because I really do like to run (I get my best thinking done when I run). If you want, I’ll put you through the paces in my outdoor boot camp (no Big Gulps allowed though). My favorite is when I was in college and I worked the front desk at our fitness center and students would smoke right up to the front door and then come in and work out. . .Never made sense to me. Nice photoshop work BTW. 😉
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:38 pmCan’t wait until you and yours make it out. Let’s bike into the mountains shortly after you get here…
I wish I liked running, but I’m just terrible at it. Perhaps I’ll give it a try again soon.
Dividend Mantra says
April 1, 2015 at 11:16 am1500,
The biggest shame of all is that this business would do really, really, really well here in the US. People look at me like I’m crazy when I walk 0.5 miles to the grocery store and back. We live in a strange world.
Best regards!
Dividend Mantra recently posted…Freedom Fund Update – April 2015
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:38 pmDunno about you, but I love walking! Once I leave my job, I plan to start and end every day with a nice hike around my ‘hood.
Mr. FSF says
April 1, 2015 at 12:04 pmGreat idea, you should definitely become an entrepreneur! Where can I sign up to invest?
Happy April fools day.
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:40 pmSoon! Just send me the biggest check you can muster!!
Tawcan says
April 1, 2015 at 1:03 pmROFL I bet you’re going to make tons and tons of money with this new business.
Tawcan recently posted…What you focus on expands – positive approach to life
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:40 pm🙂
Renee Simone says
April 1, 2015 at 3:37 pmHilarious! You really had me going for a moment!
Renee Simone recently posted…How I Increased My Net Worth by 4% in a Month
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:40 pmThanks Renee!
David of the Debt Free Guys says
April 1, 2015 at 3:49 pmI think the only true part of this post is, “We have awful jobs, crabby spouses and unruly children. We never have enough time for TV, video games or a heaping pile of nachos topped with heart clogging, fake cheese.” :p I just want to know if it is Mr. or Mrs. 1500 that is the crabby spouse? Happy April Fools Day to you all at 1500days!
David of the Debt Free Guys recently posted…Why Things Couldn’t Be More Perfect
1500 says
April 1, 2015 at 5:41 pmHa, it is Mrs. 1500. She is quite the crank. Did I mention that I’m sleeping in the garage tonight?
Chris @ Flipping A Dollar says
April 2, 2015 at 7:06 amLOL This is good stuff. Reminds me of the escalator going up to the gym which is terrible since it actually exists!
http://www.sid.fi/~grue/roskaa/klassikot/escalator_gym.jpg
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