Mrs. 1500’s question on Monday was about cheap family fun. Justin from Root of Good followed up with a nice post on what he does for family fun. All of this got me thinking to my own childhood and what my best and worst memories are. One of my worst was the day my dad lost his mind at Disney’s Epcot Center.
Disney Disaster
My parents decided to take us to Epcot the first year it opened, way back around 1982. The park was still working out the kinks and it showed. It was hot and very crowded, but the worst part was that the rides kept breaking down. It’s bad to have to wait hours to get on a ride. It was just as bad to sit on one for an hour until it got moving again. My dad, who didn’t want to be there in the first place, was in a horrible mood.
The final straw came during the Universe of Energy dinosaur ride. The ride starts out as a movie. When the movie ends, the seats start moving through a land of dinosaurs. Think Jurassic Park, but with plastic sauropods.
We got as far as the Tyrannosaurus rex when the ride crapped out. The moving seats stopped and the plastic dinosaurs all took a rest; except for the T-Rex that happened to be right next to us. Every 30 seconds or so, it would let out an eardrum-piercing roar.
It didn’t take long for my dad to start uttering profanities under his breath. My sister and I could sense the tension and looked at each other nervously. With each roar, we could see dad getting angrier and angrier. After about 10 minutes of this, he lost it. It was right after a roar that dad launched into a screaming tirade:
Anyone know where the main office is at this sh*thole! I’m going to find it and when I do, I’m going to pitch a big bitch!! How much did I pay to get into this *&^%ing place!!!???
Fellow riders turned around to look. My mom tried to calm him down. My sister and I cowered. I was certain security would show up at any second to remove us from the park. Miraculously though, the ride started moving and a bigger incident was narrowly averted.
Thinking back now, I laugh. I wonder if a screenwriter was on the same ride and got the idea for Clark Griswold’s Wally World rant (go to 1:50; caution NSFW):
All they want is you
Right before my first child was born, my boss gave me the best advice ever regarding raising children:
All children really want is your time. They want you.
With that in mind, I started thinking about my best childhood memories and all of them were simple:
- camping with the family
- gatherings with long distance relatives
- family game nights where we would play Sorry! and Scrabble
Many people get it all wrong. They think that they have to take their kids on a wallet draining Disney adventure, to a fancy water park or to a fancy camp. Spending lots of money will somehow lead to a better experience.
We are guilty of this mentality too. We took our children on a Disney cruise a year ago. All they wanted to do was swim in the pool and take walks around the boat with us. While they enjoyed the hotel room experience, we could have stayed at the Motel 6 and gave them the same thing.
The greatest gift you can give your children is your time. Turn off the TV. Stop buying disposable toys. Instead, take a hike with them. Play a game. Build LEGO* or a puzzle. Talk about their day. Enjoy the free amenities that your town provides. Engage them. Your children will tell you they want all kinds of stuff, but that is just what they think they want. Deep down, they just want you.
Also, stay away from that dinosaur ride. You never know what will happen or who will be sitting around you.
*It sounds strange saying it like this, but that is the plural form.
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Mr. 1500,
Great story about your Dad losing it a la Clark W. Griswold. Jim Gaffigan did a comedy bit on Disney on his Mr. Universe CD. Google “jim gaffigan disney” and it comes up on YouTube. Must hear stuff. And good point about giving kids your time. I try to put away the phone after work when I play with my son so I’m not tempted by late day work emails or anything else. If I ever look at it when he’s around, he usually starts misbehaving!
-RBD
Retire Before Dad recently posted…The Holy Grail of Travel
Phones are little demons! I admit to paying too much attention to mine at times. Then I must scold myself and put it back in the car.
Gaffigan is hilarious! “Hot Pockets…” I’ll check it out!
Gotta love the House of the Mouse, (and the other parks). As a lifelong Florida resident, I do my best to avoid Orlando and all that comes with it. I know some day I’ll have to take the kids, but the idea of being in a hot crowded space with sweaty/fussy kids sounds dreadful 🙂
-Bryan
Income Surfer recently posted…Book Review: $1000 & an Idea by Sam Wyly
IS, Go during the off times. The beginning of January is a great time to visit, as most people just got back from their Christmas Mouse-House visit. Also, weather isn’t nearly so stifling. We have been at the beginning of January, and it is a nice time. You might even need a light jacket!
Man, there is so much awesome stuff to do in Florida without going near Orlando. I could spend weeks on a good beach doing nothing but reading and watching the waves.
Great story! And so true, I think kids really just want to spend time with you. I don’t have much experience yet…my son is only 1 and at that age, it REALLY doesn’t make sense to spend money on toys when he’d rather play with a box. I can imagine it’s different as they grow up, but I still think that quality time trumps everything else.
Andrew@LivingRichCheaply recently posted…Why Aren’t Nerds Popular?
Don’t buy a lot of toys; just buy some really good ones. A good set of blocks will keep a child occupied for years. Some plastic junk will hold their attention span for 5 minutes and then they’ll break it anyway.
Haha! I love the dinosaur story. I don’t recall the T-rex, but one of my first memories of Disney World was that ride, and me burying my face against my uncle’s shoulder. I was probably 3 or 4. I wasn’t scared in the traditional sense, I was worried that the dinosaurs were looking at me! I was very shy. And weird.
My family went to Disney World many, many times. We always drove down from NY because my parents didn’t have much money. I have wonderful memories of our travels, but now I have mixed feelings — was it worth it when we struggled so much with money the rest of the time? I’m not sure. I definitely want to bring my boys there someday, but it might be a one-time thing. I know they’ll love it, but I also know they’ll be just fine if they never go.
“Amen” to the rest of your post as well.
Jen @ Jen Spends recently posted…7 Things I’ve been doing instead of blogging
Yeah, Disney is a lot of fun, but its just so expensive. If memory serves, a ticket there is almost $100/day. This post more aimed at the folks who are making 50K a year, but blow 6K every summer on a Disney excursion.
Thanks for the mention, Mr. 1500.
I had blocked a similar event out of my memory. The time Dad lost it at Carowinds in Charlotte NC. We lived nearby and had a season pass. I can’t remember the details exactly, but it was a hot summer evening, and almost dark. The park wasn’t scheduled to close for another hour or so. One of us kids (6 or 8 years old at the time probably) REALLY had to use the bathroom. After searching everywhere for a bathroom, and finding they were all closed and locked for the night, my Dad lost it.
We ended up in an outdoor stadium or amphitheater. My Dad was yelling “Where are all the f***ing bathrooms?!?! You still serve food and drinks but there’s nowhere to pi** or s**t!”
Eventually my dad started flipping the circuit breakers in the amphitheater causing the massive halogen lights to go off and on. Security showed up eventually and calmed him down. And located a bathroom for us.
“Fun” parks indeed.
Justin @ Root of Good recently posted…17 Ways To Have Cheap Family Fun
Oh man, I just read through this for the 3rd time and still laughed out loud. Ahhhh, the memories!
I second the message that kids just want your time. My kids (ages 5 and 3) get tired and ornery at a nearby water park in 10 minutes, but they will laugh uproariously for an hour in the back yard when we have a water gun fight. It proves true almost every time.
FI Pilgrim recently posted…The Worst Job I Have Ever Had
Oh wow, you just gave me a great idea for the big 4th of July party coming up! Super soakers!!
My parents took me to Disney when I was four, and I barely remember it. But they did spurge on a cruise when I was 12, and I ditched them for the kids zone the entire time. At 12 years old, a trip where you get to vacation from your parents is awesome! But I remember playing catch with my dad and watching TGIF on ABC with my mom way more fondly, though. Those big memories are fun, but it’s the little places where the real living and loving happens.
“Those big memories are fun, but it’s the little places where the real living and loving happens.”
YES! Could not have said it better myself!
Great story! My family has always gone by the philosophy you describe. Growing up, we did a lot of camping and playing games as family bonding. I’ve never been to any theme park except Six Flags for a high school physics trip, although we did go to some water parks in Wisconsin Dells for some family day trips.
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Thanks Daniel!
Good old (bad old?) Wisconsin Dells! What a tourist trap that place is. The river and countryside is beautiful. The t-shirt shops and throngs of sunburned tourists stuffing high fructose corn syrup into their mouths, not so much!
Oh man, I love the stories. We just took a ‘Disney Vacation’ last April, and the whole thing was pretty bad as it happened, but we do look back now and realize we had fun. The best day we had wasn’t Animal Kingdom, or Hollywood Studios, or even the two days we spent at Magical Kingdom.
Instead, the best two days were driving to Cocoa Beach and watching the kids swim in the ocean for the first time, then the next day that we laid around the hotel as a result of North Dakotans’ complete inability to apply sunscreen…
One more thought – when I was a kid, we were on a trip to California and were at Universal Studios. We were about to eat a meal, and a bird dropped a HUGE load all over my Mom’s head. It was pretty epic LOL…
Big Guy Money recently posted…Getting Your Spouse On Board With This ‘Crazy Freedom Thing’
Yeah, I will admit that Disney is fun. However, that fun comes at a very steep price! That mouse will clear out your wallet almost as fast as a casino!
Oh man, love Cocoa Beach! We go there every time we’re in Florida.
“We were about to eat a meal, and a bird dropped a HUGE load all over my Mom’s head.”
LOL! Don’t tell your mom. At Dollywood, a bird dropped one my sister’s lime green slurpee. She was not happy. Good aim though Mr. Bird.
I recently watched the National Lampoon’s Vacation, such a classic movie, we are laughing at good old Clark Griswold over Memorial Weekend, very fitting. I can’t think of any specific vacation moments of my dad losing it, but if he drops something in the kitchen we will still enjoy a similar result as your Father’s tirade.
Even Steven recently posted…Cutting Back on Expenses-From Mercedes Debt to 0 in 3 Seconds Flat
Oh man, I love that movie. Probably one of my top 10. So foul and so good. Classic.
“The greatest gift you can give your children is your time.”
Edit: the greatest gift you can give your
Children
Spouse
Parents
Friends
Yourself
Is your time
It’s really pretty simple, isn’t it?
Great post! I love a good tirade.
Right on! Love it!
I love your Dad’s tirade. CJ and I each have a parent who might have done exactly the same thing! And to think, some other guy got rich on the sh** his dad says!
My favorite childhood memories are spending time at my grandmothers’ houses. Everyone got along there, and time slowed down somehow. Thank you for this reminder of pleasant times.
Tammy R recently posted…Not a Beginning or an End, Just Living
Hi Tammy-
Yeah, I agree that hanging out with family were some of the best times, My family was small and spread out, so we hardly ever got to see anyone. Now, it’s even worse. What’s become of caring about family ties?
I hate to rag on my parents even more than I already do, but they moved away from all of their friends and family to Las Vegas because they thought it would be a cool place to live. Drives me nuts. I’ll never move away from my children if I have any say in it.
Too funny! And I loved that clip, too. Amusement parks are not my cup of tea, as they combine a lot of things I don’t like: high prices, waiting in lines, and, well, rides.
That’s horrible, maybe they should’ve delayed opening the park to make sure everything works properly… But great story nevertheless, and you’re so right, I looked back again and remember that some my favorite childhood memories were spent with my family. Going to a place like Disneyland was nice, but it was nice because — for the most part — I was there with my family.
Suburban Finance recently posted…Financial Roundup – Changes Edition
“Going to a place like Disneyland was nice, but it was nice because — for the most part — I was there with my family.”
Yes, exactly! Disney is fun, but you don’t need it for your children to be happy.
I went to disney last month (and epcot) and I will tell you I was pretty angry during it. At every turn I just saw money spent on my 3 year old who like most commenters have mentioned won’t remember it! I feel like most of the time I am doing this stuff for us (or really The Wife lol) since like you said his face lights up just as much when I say I am not going to work as it does when I say we are going to see Thomas the Train Engine in PA (which by the SUCKED).
Evan recently posted…July 2014 Net Worth Update
Great story! As a Clark Griswald family we can certainly relate. Been on that dinosaur ride and I can just imagine. Surprised your Dad didn’t punch that T-Rex in the face.
debt debs recently posted…Migrate WordPress.com to Self Hosted – The Live Version
Ha, I’ll bet he was close to it!