Recently, I learned two things about ping pong:
#1: Don’t call it “ping pong”
I recently attended a local Ping Pong club with a friend, A Noonan Moose from Frugal Fringe. I wasn’t sure I was at the right place, so I asked the guy working the front desk of the gym:
- Me: Is this where the ping pong club plays?
- Desk Guy: What?
- Me: The ping pong club. Am I at the right place?
- Desk Guy <sneering at me now>: Huh?
- Me: Ummmmmmm…
- Desk Girl, speaking directly to Desk Guy: Table tennis! He’s talking about table tennis.
- Desk Guy: Yeah, you’re at the right place.
The guy knew damn well what I was talking about. He was just obstinate. Who knew there could be this kind of pretentiousness in a game where you hit a little plastic ball at someone?
#2: I suck at ping pong table tennis
I entered the gym to find the club attendees setting up tables. I took a spot on the bleachers and observed. When play started, I realized that there was no way I’d be picking up a paddle. These guys were great. I had never seen anything like it. This was nothing like the hours I wasted in college.
Why I was at the Pretentious Ping Pong Palace in the first place
As the time comes to leave my full-time gig, I look forward to pursuing everything that I haven’t been able to take part in with the constraints of a job, home remodel and a family. Everything else is just an afterthought:
- Exercise
- Reading
- Home remodeling
- Farting around on silly projects in the garage
- Exploring the mountains next to my home
- And yes, ping pong (screw it, I’m not calling it table tennis)
And I’ll still be working, but it isn’t what you think
After I leave official employment, my primary activity will still be work. Yes, I’m quitting work to do more work. But hold on, it’s different:
My new work may be blogging, finishing my book of short stories, writing computer code for projects that interest me, making stuff out of concrete and metal in my garage or any one of the other hundreds of ideas that I have. There are two important rules to keep in mind with this form of new work:
- Money will no longer be the goal: If the things I choose to work on don’t make money, that’s just fine. I’ll be working because I enjoy the activity. The goal isn’t to make money, but if someone wants to pay me for a concrete frog, that will be $25.
- It won’t monopolize my time: While work will be my core activity, I plan on doing it for no more than 20 hours per week. It will also not be my priority.
The second bullet point there is the important one and the reason that I went to the ping pong club in the first place. With newfound free time, I’ll be able to do whatever the heck I want for the other 20 hours. Exercise, yes. Writing, yes. Ping pong, yes.
But, I still have the problem in that I’m a horrible ping pong player. I think I found a solution though…
Excess Money
When you have a budget surplus, you can do one of two things:
- Invest/save it: This is my favorite thing to do. A big pile of money is a comfortable security blanket to protect my family and I from life’s tribulations.
- Furnace quits working: No problem, I have this.
- Boss fires my ass tomorrow: See ya! Thanks for all the fish!
- The kids need to go to the dentist: Yawn. Wait, braces cost $5,000? Are you serious?
- Spend it on silliness: Some folks buy big houses or cars with fancy names and leather inside. I’m no stranger to buying silly stuff, but I do it on a smaller scale. Here are some examples:
- Drone ($300): Yes.
- Skateboard ($75): No broken arm yet.
- $10 bottles of beer: Occasionally. (Mrs. 1500 note: I encourage Mr. 1500 to
spend money on things he would enjoy. $10 bottles of beer are rare – usually the large-size, and always very good stuff. Except that nasty Iron Maiden beer. Seriously, there was no way that was tasting good…) (Mr. 1500 rebuttal: I knew the Iron Maiden beer was a bad idea, kind of like the car accident that you can’t stop looking at. I couldn’t help myself.)
Recent Silliness
Last week, I hinted at a ridiculous purchase and I asked you if you had any idea what it was. Reader Becca was the first to come up with the right answer. Here it is in all it’s glory; the Robo-Pong 1050:
“Robo-Pong? What the hell am I looking at?” you ask.
Watching the dudes (it is ALL dudes, no ladies in sight) playing ping pong made me sad because I realized my limited skills wouldn’t take me anywhere. I was also sad because I could see no clear path to get better. Until The Google told me that ping-pong robots are a thing.
A ping pong robot will sling balls at you all day with different spin characteristics. This is how I can become a better player.
Yep, $500 for this sucker. Totally silly. However, if it leads to decades of pleasant ping pong performance, it’s worth it.
If I had $200,000,000 (super silliness)
I like to say that my life will never change no matter how much money I have. That is almost true, but this past weekend, I found something else that I want to own. It all started at the airshow:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Op-GvwTM_Ks&feature=youtu.be
The first thing that I thought was:
My ears hurt.
Then:
I want one.
I did some research and sadly, I cannot own an F-16 Fighting Falcon. However, for about $4,650,000, I can own a Russian Mig: (Mrs. 1500 note: No.)
Yes, if I was worth an astronomical amount of money, I would totally buy one. How fun would that be?:
- Me: Hey Jim, what are you doing this weekend:
- Jim: Taking the kids to the pool. You?
- Me: I’m taking my Mig for a little joyride.
But what would the neighbors think?
- Neighbor Jill: What’s that in the 1500’s driveway? A new minivan?
- Neighbor Doug: No honey, that’s a Mig 29, a Russian fighter jet.
- Neighbor Jill: Oooh! Can I get one? Do they come in lavender?
- Neighbor Doug: No and no.
- Neighbor Jill: Well, I’ll bet it can’t carry many groceries anyway. And how many airbags does it have?
Unless I have an ultra-rich relative that plans to leave me a fortune, there will be no Mig 29 in my future. However, I plan to get really good at ping pong soon. That’s almost as cool, right?
Wow ping pong robots are expensive! But I think that will be well worth it and it should help tremendously, especially practicing against spin, etc. I took ping pong as a college physical education course. My teacher was Chinese so she taught us the international rules and how to put spin on the ball as well as return balls that had spin on them. I got a lot better by the end, but am still only an average (maybe slightly above average) player. Enjoy the Table Tennis Club!
The Green Swan recently posted…My Small Business Investment
Will you be in Colorado any time soon? 🙂
If you enjoy ping pong, you might like Top Spin – a documentary following top kids players on their quest to get to the Olympics:
http://www.topspinmovie.com/
Biglaw Investor recently posted…The Stealth IRA: Health Savings Account (HSA)
I added it to my FI list, thanks!
You should play this song while you practice! https://youtu.be/yGrbzPOp5Gg it’s either that or Enrique….. have fun!
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I love table tennis (ping pong). I’m OK not great. It takes a lot of practice to be good, and I just don’t have the time. So in that, we’re in the same boat.
My love is volleyball. I’ve played since high school, and I’m probably a better overall player now than I was then, but I wish I was able to play 6 days a week like I used to! Even pre-kids, I was still playing 3 days per week. Now I’m stuck with once a week (if I’m lucky) and a tournament or two a year. It also sucks that my wife is whiter than snow white and won’t have a nice day outside at a park. What can you do though, this is life and we can’t have our cake and eat it too. But I would definitely play more if I didn’t have to work!
Chris @ Flipping A Dollar recently posted…Blogging Hiatus
FI baby, FI!
FI or not Mr. 1500, are you the kind of person that can stick with a hobby long enough to build expertise? 5.5 years @ 5 hours per day? Most people can’t.
My very first post was about this topic -just to keep me honest: http://www.mrtakoescapes.com/2015/12/13/how-to-get-rich-ditch-your-hobbies/
I have a tendency to start hobbies for awhile and then give up. I recognize this faulty behavior in myself, and now see it in others all the time.
Mr. Tako @ Mr. Tako Escapes recently posted…Not Investing In The ‘Brexit’
That is a long time! Mostly, I want my girls to enjoy it. I also want to enjoy it with some local friends. I’m a lopsided, uncoordinated dork, so I’ll never be an athlete at anything. I can certainly get better though.
Funny post Mr. 1500. I like to play ping pong too but have never spent much time at it or got any good. That robot looks pretty sweet and should be a great way for you to train. Have fun!
Believe Fire recently posted…The Simple Path to Wealth
The first rule of Ping-Pong Club is: You do not talk about Ping-Pong Club.
If you want to give up 2 hours and 15 minutes of your time and like Clint Eastwood, check out the 1982 movie “Firefox”, maybe you can get some tips on acquiring your own Mig.
Brian @ debt discipline recently posted…What Financial Health Means to Me
I remember that one! Good movie! At least it was when I was 9 years old.
Still good, totally worth the time 🙂
Ah, pretentious desk guys, it seems no matter what the hobby, they all have one. My home brew club was real welcoming and open arms about joining, but man did they have a couple of guys that just loved to quibble, debate, and nitpick the minutia of tasting, brewing, kegging v. bottling, and anything else. Sidenote, i alos like the occasional $10 bottle of beer and like you, would probably ahve to try an Iron maidne beer if nothing else for the cool bottle art could reuse when I bottle.
A Mig 29 would be cool, but my first thought was, “I wonder how much fuel that thing eats up just to get in the air?”
Good luck at the ping pong club! i enjoyed playing when I was younger, but haven’t known anyone with a table now that I’m older. Once you get better are you going to go “half table” Forrest Gump style? 🙂
Mr SSC recently posted…What do you do to get out of a slump?
A Mig 29 would be cool, but my first thought was, “I wonder how much fuel that thing eats up just to get in the air?”
I thought the exact same thing. Probably a whole lot…
No matter how long I live, I never enjoy balls flying at my face.
The Jolly Ledger recently posted…Setting goals while in the Waiting Place
No comment!
What a fun way to get better on your own time! I like the idea of buying silly things that increase my joy and athletic performance.
Pretentious desk-sitters at gyms are the worst. You know what I’m asking for and there is not a magic word!
ZJ Thorne recently posted…What Financial Health Means to Me – Fincon 2016
“Watching the dudes (it is ALL dudes, no ladies in sight) playing ping pong…” could have told you that one Captain Obvious!
Still think you should combine your passions into a huge money making opportunity to make your Top Gun dreams come true…Start brewing your own beer and build hybrid table tennis/beer pong tournament tables.
Start your own club catering to both the Table Tennis and Beer Pong crowds (You can call it “Smash & Suds”), which will now attract the “better 50%” of the population that is currently absent. When the ladies start showing up, more people will show up. The Robo-Pong can serve as mighty competition for either club members (and it is now a business asset – depreciate it baby!). Lastly, you can use your “Mad-Drone-Skills” to settle any officiating calls as the games can be monitored high from above or chase unruly members when they have one to many.
It’s a gold mine…Get your flight suit ready Maverick!
Jeff from Jersey (or should I call you Iceman?), hilarious! Smash and Suds: awesome! I could partner with local microbreweries for tournaments. You get the first ride in my “new to me” Mig!
It’s great to find a fellow Douglas Adams fan! 🙂
I love your approach to work during “retirement.” I have plenty of time to decide what I’d like to do with that newfound time. I think a lot of people are scared by the prospect of not relying on a 9-to-5. So much so that the idea of early retirement is frightening and confusing. It takes a lot of hard work to figure out who you are and what you truly want to do with your life.
I applaud you, sir!
Mrs. Picky Pincher recently posted…Soda: Destroyer of Waistbands and Wallets
One more advantage of ping pong over Russian Migs: the equipment happens to fit in your garage.
Thanks for the shout out and enjoy the fast ascent up your latest learning curve!
Noonan recently posted…Compare Your Home’s Square Footage to Nationwide Surveys of Owners and Renters
Ha, yes. I’d have to store the Mig on my front lawn and it probably wouldn’t fit there either. The city probably wouldn’t appreciate it on the street, but some hoodlums would eventually steal the CD player out of the dash.
Actually, if you’re going to become more serious about ping pong and want to practice more often with your soon found free time, I think it’s a great idea! It’s a lot less expensive then some traditional retirement activities (golf, etc.). My only question is where are you going to use this Robo-Pong machine? At the ping pong club? Build a ping pong table of your own? Buy a used one? Just curious as that’s actually one of the activities I want to pursue more when I reach the point of FI.
I’m still on the lookout for a used table. Come on Craigslist!
Nice, and good luck on your search!
I was thinking you had bought a pinball machine with your mad money. Fun for the entire family.
Ahh, but I greatly look forward to teaching the girls ping pong…
Awesome about the ping-pong. If I had that much time it would be golf for me. I have a colleague who golfs every day, even by himself. I would love to do it just for the social nature of things. I think that is one of the benefits/challenges of RE the isolation in some respects. Unfortunately, most people get their social interaction from work. By having RE they might actually becoming more isolated (unless they are a go getter ping ponger), whereas others (you) will find it fantastic because you will probably have more time for social interaction than ever before, which in my humble opinion is really what life is about.
Jason recently posted…Financial Lessons From My Parents
I think the only country where Ping Pong is table tennis is the same one where football is soccer. Am I right? 🙂
Ping pong is super fun and I’m decent at it. If you happen to visit Switzerland I’ll give you free lessons!
My nowadays’ sport is Squash. Squash is way more psychological, strategic and fun than other racket sports. Like ping pong it requires good reflexes too. I sponsor squash for everyone!
Ha ha, crazy ass Americans!
And oh yes, I’m totally visiting Switzerland. Dunno when, but it will happen…
LOL, when you’re ready to buy one, just let me know. I will introduce you to a Russian Air Force general. I think he will give you a discount 😉
The Russian Guy recently posted…How to learn from broke people
Russian Guy, I was hoping you’d comment! Perhaps you can connect me with some surplus tanks or other military fun? I think that I need a bigger yard…
Usually Russian Tanks go with Russian crewman. I don’t think Mrs. 1500 would approve that.
P.S.
We will be in Denver area from July 2nd till July 9. I will send you an email
The Russian Guy recently posted…How to learn from broke people
Haha, that’s totally random!
I like ping pong (and yes we call it that too!) as well but am also lacking in the skills department. I think I’d pass on the jet even if I was a multi millionaire tho. I’d plough the money into those electric powered aircraft you mentioned the other week instead 🙂
theFIREstarter recently posted…out with the old, in with the new (blog roll update!)
I cant believe those ping pong snobs!! I used to know a professional table tennis player and he was just amazing. I think im pretty good but could never hang with that kind of talent.
I think its super cool that you are at the point where you can do anything you want and not worry about how much money it makes. That is exactly where I am trying to be.
Thanks for the inspiration!
Alexander @ Cash Flow Diaries recently posted…How Moving To The Midwest Can Help Speed Up Early Retirement
Hmmm….well don’t take this the wrong way but when you said…
“a game where you hit a little plastic ball at someone?”
I knew that you might have the wrong idea about pin..er…table tennis. However I like your strategy, because I believe if you hit them, it is your point. Not only do you get the satisfaction of victory, you also get to watch a sizable welt forming on your opponents body…which reminds me of another fun game you can play with a ping pong table;)
No one beats you with the crazy blog post titles! I LOVE your two new goals. I can’t wait to feel a part of your life as you transition into a more personal focus, that’s what it’s all about. Hope you and the family had a great trip out here to California. Cheers
You can fly that fancy Mig in moscow by paying couple thousand grand last time I checked it was 8k back in 2011
Whoah…
As far as the Iron Maiden Beer goes, couldn’t have known it was a bad idea until you tried! :p
Also, having recently graduated, I don’t think you wasted your hours playing ping pong in college at all. Valuable friendships were formed and a lot of teasing trash talk helped us form those bonds! Would like to play you one day!
Finance Solver recently posted…Routine and repetitive tasks to do to achieve glamorous and realistic results
Ouch, Ping Pong, I made the same mistake when I first met with Mrs CF. She played for many years and even got to a spot in the top 100 for females in the Netherlands. Needless to say that she destroys me at the (ping pong) table 😉
Good luck practicing, hope the $500 is worth the “investment”.
As for the MIG29/F16, a (large) scale model perhaps? And Iron Maiden beer, really, it’s kind of cool actually (even if it’s not good tasting, the label is awesome).
Team CF recently posted…Amber Tree Leave Running Challenge – Fail
Thanks for a refreshingly light-hearted post. I think I’m quite the ping-pong, er, table tennis player myself. Or at least I used to be at one time. I recall challenging my dad to a game after my first year of college and having my butt handed to me on a silver platter. Talk about humbling!
I have also been known to splurge on expensive bottles of beer from to time. My latest as a Dogfish Head 120 Minute Imperial IPA. Definitely a sipper, and a friend and I shared it over monstrous burgers.
FinanceSuperhero recently posted…Managing the Cycle of Failure and Success
Dogfish Head! That is fine beer! Beer + good burgers == heaven.
If I get my delivery today, I may be brewing tonight. My award winning Coffee Wheat beer and I’ll be attempting a citrus-y Pale Ale – new territory for me.
Anyway, you’ll need beer to go with your ping pong practice so I’ll be bottling and sending you some.
Everyone knows the official name is Table Tennis the casual name is Ping-Pong. The desk guy being elitist is just stupid, especially if you’re going there for fun and exercise.
I play ping pong with a co-worker and dammit, we’ll call it ping-pong forever.
I’m just at the start of my journey so my silly purchases have been way down lately. I think I bought a new hardcover book recently and that’s about it.
I did cut the cable bill yesterday and am planning on refinancing the mortgage to 3.25% (if the rates hold over the long weekend). This will give me a little extra mad money but most will go into investments since I’m not FIRE yet.
Steam summer sale is also going on and it’s very hard not to grab up several games.
What a fun hobby! We had a Ping Pong table growing up and it was fun challenging my siblings. It got pretty intense at times!
Linda@Frugal Turtle recently posted…What A Week Without the Internet Taught Me
I think no matter how much money you have, the money will not make you as happy as a game (ping pong or whatever). Money is another kind of happiness. The game gives you mental peace. I can’t think of a day without a game.