Today, I’m bringing you 5 fast and easy ways to live the frugal life and quickly attain riches.
Pets, the other white meat: Have vet bills almost put you in the poor-house? Does Fido only eat those designer label brands? Is kitty getting on your nerves? No doubt about it, pets are expensive.
Cats and dogs are delicious (well only dogs apparently). Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it. I’ll bet Google could show you some awesome recipes. If someone asks what you’re eating, just tell them, with a wink, hot dogs or feline-key lime-pie! Mmmm, mmmm, good!
Save money with Google’s ISP: My friggin’ cable Internet runs me over $50/month. What do I get for this? Crappy upload speeds, frequent outages and unintelligible tech support from hell.
Good news is here for all of you suffering with me! I recently discovered that Google itself offers reliable and cheap Internet though your toilet. Holy crap; dump your ISP (puns intended) and sign on with Google’s TISP.
Follow Jim Cramer to riches: I’m not very familiar with this guy, but he’s on the overhead TVs at the health club. While I’m not actually listening to him, his animated gesticulation must mean he’s very good at what he does.
I’m guessing that if you follow his advice, you’ll be living in the lap of luxury in no time. Someday soon, I’ll wise up and stop listening to music and tune in to this wise and screaming oracle.
Start a backyard farm: We lived in Madison, Wisconsin some years ago where backyard chickens were all the rage with the hippies. Some of the conservative folk thought they had gone too far. I didn’t think they went far enough. Why stop at eggs? If you’ve got the space, how about sheep or even a cow? You’ll know right where your meat and milk is coming from. Throw in a couple goats and you’ll never have to mow the lawn. Bonus: If you have a garden, no more need to buy fertilizer!
Don’t worry about a thing, the government will bail you out: Saving money is for crazy people that insist on driving old cars, contributing to their 401(k)s or waiting until their finances are in order to have children. What is with these people?
Forget these crackpots; go out and buy a new Corvette. While you’re at it, pick up an RV too. Finance both at 19.9% interest if you need to. You only live once and Social Security will be there to bail you out.
You know all that nonsense you read about government programs going bankrupt? The kooks who are spreading those lies are the same ones telling you to ‘save your money.’ Go figure.
Happy April 1st everyone.
Tongue in cheek? Nah! Cook up those pets! This is a PERSONAL FINANCE website! Let’s save money on pet food and our weekly grocery budget!
In all seriousness… Watching Cramer is pure gold. Who knew one set could have so many noise making buttons!
Happy April Fools to you guys, too! Glad we’re not the only April Fools goofs out in the PF world today =)
1500, you know I’ll fry up those pets…
LOL! I am between pets at the moment as our african dwarf frogs both moved on. For the future, anyone have a recipe for frog legs?
You wouldn’t know that my Internet service didn’t come from the toilet. I think Verizon might have a similar implementation. The tech did have to “go to the bathroom” a few times, with his cable tester, butt sett, screwdriver(?), etc.
Before I understood how life and finances worked someone tried to convince me that Jim Cramer and his Maaad Money were the go-to source for good financial advice.. Wow.
JM, isn’t Verizon supposed to be the good one? The day the Google Fiber comes to my neck of the woods will be a happy day indeed.
“Follow Jim Cramer to riches” Lol! I about fell out of my chair laughing at this one! Sadly, way too many people follow this fool and it just makes no sense to me at all. I am still trying to figure out who is worse…him or good ol’ Suze. On a side note, I’ll have to tell my wife that the cat could be a viable dinner option if we’re at a loss of what to make this week. 😉
Ha, I don’t think Cramer is stupid, I think that the people who follow him like sheep are. I’ve had a couple really intelligent people tell me that they’re ‘basing their investment strategy’ off of that show. Really?!? Good luck with that one!
Regarding the cat, BBQ season is almost upon us! Fire up the grill and grab a beer! Hissssssssssss!!! (that noise that agitated cats make).
Oh man Mark, you have a good point! This would be a great excuse to pick up a riding mower (mini-tractor) and walk around with a weed between my teeth! Do I have to wear a shirt underneath the overalls?!? Mrs. 1500 is going to love this!
Right on!
Clarification, Mrs. 1500 is NOT going to love that.
Thanks and back at ya’!
Is it sad that where we live there are plenty of people with yard chickens and/or goats? 🙂 That’s the south, for you!
Hmmm, actually I think that its kind of cool. Much better than rusted cars or Chevy small blocks in the middle of the front yard.
I was believing it all until I got to Cramer……
Laughing my ass off, thanks Wayne!
Nice one! Some it starts there, other stuff belongs there.
Right on about the PF community though. So many great people putting out so much great stuff, every day I see something that surprises me.
Jim Cramer must be spewing golden wisdom! Why else would he be so popular? It’s not like they let crazy people have their own TV shows or anything…
Haha, very well done with Google. With the invention of Google Glass, I wouldn’t be surprised if they ventured into that realm…