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Comfort Zones Are Where Dreams Go To Die

November 16, 2021 by Mr. 1500 Days 22 Comments

The past 7 days were crazy busy:

  • DIY solar panels: On Wednesday, the electric utility came out to perform a final inspection on my solar system and I passed! My system is now connected to the grid and on most days, I’m putting back much more than I consume. DIYing solar panels took a lot of planning and labor, but it was a fun challenge and I’m happy to have done it. If you’re a photon voyeur and would like to see how my system is performing in real-time, click this.
  • Kitchen: Because I’m a poor planner and have a bad habit of keeping myself too busy, I started a kitchen remodel at the same time as the panel project.

While I was installing solar panels and demolishing/rebuilding my kitchen, I was also preparing for one of the biggest (and most terrifying!) challenges of my life, speaking in front of 400+ fellow humans at EconoMe. Today, I’ll tell you how I got the speaker gig, why I did it, what I got out of it, and why you should attempt similarly scary things.

Struggles, Fear, And Meeting Diania

I first met Diania Merriam at Camp FI back in 2019. Shortly after meeting her, she told me of her dream of hosting a big, FIRE conference. After she heard my talk, Diania asked me if I would be interested in speaking at her event. My first thought was this:

I’m a hack speaking in front of 50 people here at Camp FI. Why would she want me to speak at a big event? I’m not worthy. She must be blowing smoke up my you-know-what.

Soon, I realized that she was serious. I was taken aback and almost cried that someone thought I was worthy to handle something like this, but I said “No.” I really wanted to do it, but more than that, I wanted Diania to succeed. To draw attendees to a big conference you need big speakers. Liz Thames (Frugalwoods) or JD Roth (Get Rich Slowly) are very nice people with big followings. Go after them Diania! I’m nice most of the time, but far fewer people read my silly content and I won’t sell as many tickets.

I thanked Diania, but told her that I was not the speaker she needed. I offered to make introductions and help with whatever I could, but that I was a poor choice for her conference.

Fast forward to 2021. Diania pinged me and asked if I wanted to speak at this year’s edition of EconoMe. My thought process this time around:

She’s already done one EconoMe, so she must know what she’s doing. If she still wants me to speak, I’ll do it.

I agreed to the gig and then immediately asked myself what the hell I had gotten myself into…

I Can’t Talk

As a kid, I had some speech issues. I stuttered and couldn’t get certain words to come out of my mouth. I had particular issues with making the “sh” sound.

Side note: If anyone heard the number of times I said “bullshit” during my talk at EconoMe, they know I have overcome my issues with “sh.”

Years of speech therapy helped out. But I had turned inward. I wasn’t just terrified to speak in front of a crowd; I was terrified to speak at all.

If you don’t reveal your weaknesses, other humans can’t hurt you with them.

The manifestation of this was tremendous insecurity and lack of confidence. These traits don’t serve you well in life. I had no idea how to get over them though.

In 2017, I was invited to speak to a very small group of students at Colorado State University. Even though the audience was less than 20, my leg was shaking on the drive to the talk. It was terrifying at first, but then it got easier. After the talk, I noticed a funny and unexpected thing:

I feel a little more comfortable now around other humans. My confidence level ticked up a couple of notches for having done the public talk.

I was a slightly better person for having ventured out of my comfort zone, so I agreed to more talks. Stephen Baughier allowed me to talk at Camp FI and each time, it got a little easier. And, I felt a little better about myself after every talk.

Comfort Zones Are Where Dreams Go To Die

Here is what you should take from this post:

If you want to be a better person, you must be willing to acknowlege what you’re afraid of, confront it, and get past it.

Every human should try to be the best example of themselves that they can be.

Figure out where your weaknesses are and then defeat them.

Figure out where your potential is and go after it.

Maybe you’ll use your new powers to help make the world better. Maybe you’ll just them to amuse yourself. Either way, you’ll have new skills and be a better person for it.

Unless your dream is to watch TV and eat Cheetos, comfort zones are where dreams go to die. Normal life and normal effort get normal results. You’re going to have to bleed a little to get to the extraordinary stuff. But, you’ll be so thankful you did.

Big Talk

If you would have told me when I started this blog in 2013 that I’d be giving a talk to a small group of college students in 2017, I would have said:

Nope! Too scary!

If you would have told me in 2017 that I’d be giving a talk to 100s of people in 2021, I would have been like this:

But, here we are.

It isn’t an understatement to say that speaking at EconoMe was one of the highlights of my life:

  • Diania: I’m incredibly thankful that you believed in me and gave me a chance.
  • Other speakers: We all volunteered to do this for free. I love it when people give freely. Hopefully the world is a slightly better place for our efforts.
  • You crazy people who watched me: Thanks for listening to my very public therapy/personal-growth session. At a minimum, I hope my talk was amusing. I put some lessons in there too though. I hope that some of you took notice, learned from my mistakes, and take action.

Finally, it was surreal being on stage talking about how I discovered FIRE via MMM and JD Roth. Meanwhile, those two humans were in the audience listening. It’s interesting how life comes full circle sometimes.

Life is good. Screw that, life is great. I’m so thankful for it all.

Community

The best part of events like EconoMe is the people. It was awesome seeing old friends. It was just as good making new ones. I wish that I could have talked to each and every one of you and perhaps someday I will.

I’ve never been around a group of strangers that I feel so instantly comfortable with. The FIRE crowd isn’t necessarily better than any other group of humans, but I find we have a lot in common. Money nerds are also board game, optimization, and travel nerds. Money unites us, but I notice at these events that most of the talk isn’t about money. And that’s how it should be. Let’s get money out in the open so we can help each other out. Then, let’s move on.

Thank you all for a tremendous weekend.

Thank you all for allowing me to share a little of my life with you.

See you again soon.

Well done Diania.

More 1500 Days!!!

You can also find me (and the dinosaurs) at:

Mile High FI podcast:

  • Listen on Apple, Google, YouTube, and Spotify

Also here:

  • YouTube: My channel is mostly devoted to home improvement, but I have some other material coming up soon too.
  • Instagram: Pretty pictures of dinosaurs, sunsets, and nail guns!
  • Twitter: Spontaneous, often insane, ramblings
  • Coworking space: On the surface, MMM HQ is a coworking space. Look a little deeper and you’ll see that we’re really building community. The members of MMM HQ are some of the finest people I know.
  • Facebook: Facebook group and page

Other resources I like:

  • Camp FIs are amazingly fun! I hope to attend Rocky Mountain and Joshua Tree this year. See you there?
  • Need to learn how to invest? The Simple Path to Wealth is all you need.
  • New to FIRE? Need some FIREy guidance? Check out Fiology and the accompanying workbook!

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Filed Under: Economag Tagged With: diania merriam, EconoMe

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Gwen @ Fiery Millennials says

    November 16, 2021 at 11:43 am

    Not only did you get up on stage…. You CRUSHED it! 3 cheers for Carl! I hope to see you again some time next year!

    Reply
    • Mr. 1500 Days says

      November 16, 2021 at 3:05 pm

      Thanks Gwen! It was great seeing you again. Hopefully, we actually get to talk next time!

      Reply
  2. Zuzka says

    November 16, 2021 at 12:16 pm

    It was a great speech! Thank you Carl

    Reply
    • Mr. 1500 Days says

      November 16, 2021 at 3:05 pm

      Thank you Zuzka! Hope to meet you sometime!

      Reply
  3. freddy smidlap says

    November 16, 2021 at 1:11 pm

    i’m glad you’re getting comfortable with the public speaking, homey. a month ago a fellow personal finance writer asked me and a handful of others to participate in an experimental fiction writing piece. these are good day to day writers and i didn’t know (as some of the others felt) if i was worthy. i was glad i participated and put forth my contribution for publication. i am proud of how it turned out. https://fatesonfire.com/top-fi-re-writers-collaborate-to-create-surrealist-prose/
    freddy smidlap recently posted…We Bought Activision Blizzard $ATVI Stock! – Malevolent Missy Stock Series #27My Profile

    Reply
    • Mr. 1500 Days says

      November 16, 2021 at 3:05 pm

      Did you write this line?: “A monstrous concussive peal of buttock wobbling flatulent thunder…”

      If so, you’re gifted!

      🙂

      Reply
      • freddy smidlap says

        November 17, 2021 at 9:01 am

        i wish i could take credit for that one but i cannot.

        Reply
  4. Jacob Higginbottom says

    November 16, 2021 at 2:40 pm

    Not only did you inspire all of us you also made us all laugh like crazy. So interesting to hear you say that public speaking is hard for me you. You made it look so easy! I was hoping to get to say hi in person. Maybe next time for sure. Awesome work!!!

    Reply
    • Mr. 1500 Days says

      November 16, 2021 at 3:03 pm

      Hi Jacob!

      Thank you for the kind comment!

      Your art is wonderful. It makes me want to visit the East Coast.

      See you soon.

      Reply
  5. Bill Yount says

    November 17, 2021 at 9:45 am

    Mr 1500,

    I agree with Gwen. You crushed it! Also greatly enjoyed meeting you! Have you seen the movie “The King’s Speech”?

    Best,

    Bill

    Reply
    • Mr. 1500 Days says

      November 17, 2021 at 8:11 pm

      I have not seen that movie, but have heard good things! I added it to my list.

      Reply
  6. KaLynn says

    November 17, 2021 at 1:07 pm

    We loved your talk and all the laughs that came with it. One thing that resonated with my husband Mike was the tenent that we are fortunate enough to realize we probably won’t run out of money, but we will definitely run out of time #micdrop.

    I’ll admit as we were walking back to our hotel I wondered out loud if you got the cabinets hung before leaving for Econome 😀 😀 😀 Hopefully we can meet you next time!

    Reply
    • Mr. 1500 Days says

      November 17, 2021 at 8:10 pm

      Cabinets! Still a work in progress. I took this photo moments ago (can you find the dinosaurs in the photo?): https://photos.app.goo.gl/hNpPyb1bJqzvPse37

      Thank you for the nice comment. The weekend feels surreal. “Who was that on stage? I don’t know that person!”

      Reply
  7. Michael says

    November 17, 2021 at 4:21 pm

    You crushed it man, it was hilarious and inspiring at the same time – not many can pull that off! I still feel somewhat haunted by your message – I’m not likely to run out of money, but I’m definitely going to run out of life. For where I’m at right now, it was exactly what I needed to hear.

    Keep up the good work!

    Reply
    • Mr. 1500 Days says

      November 17, 2021 at 8:07 pm

      Thank you for the nice comment!

      And what a weekend. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me!

      Reply
  8. Jenny says

    November 17, 2021 at 6:04 pm

    You did a great job–it was great to hear your story and to meet you afterward!

    Reply
    • Mr. 1500 Days says

      November 17, 2021 at 8:07 pm

      Thank you! And it was nice to talk to you, even if it was just for a minute. Stay good.

      Reply
  9. Kyle says

    November 22, 2021 at 9:44 am

    You should do a breakdown post on your DIY solar system.

    Reply
    • Mr. 1500 Days says

      November 22, 2021 at 3:35 pm

      Yep, I will do one soon.

      Reply
  10. wendy says

    November 22, 2021 at 1:47 pm

    Woot! Go Carl!
    It’s wonderful that you’re repeatedly doing the thing that scares(ed) you and can feel the confidence & comfort level increasing over time.
    The kitchen-in-progress looks great! Now you can start working on that whole ‘keeping myself too busy’ thing and maybe work on some of this stuff sequentially vs simultaneously….? ha!

    Reply
    • Mr. 1500 Days says

      November 22, 2021 at 3:32 pm

      Haha, I’m taking my foot off the gas after the kitchen!

      Reply
  11. Dividend Power says

    November 29, 2021 at 8:27 am

    Got to get out of the comfort zone to learn and become better. That is true in sports and even personal finance.
    Dividend Power recently posted…The Cost of Opportunity and How It Is PaidMy Profile

    Reply

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Freedom!

My goal was to build a portfolio of $1,000,000 by February of 2017; 1500 days from the birth of this blog (January 1, 2013). And hey look, I’ve since retired!

Investments only
1/1/13 (The Start): $586,043
1/1/14 (1 Yr Later): $869,635
1/1/15 (2 Yrs Later): $987,351
1/1/16 (3 Yrs Later): $1,057,961
1/1/17 (4 Yrs Later): $1,257,128
1/1/18 (5 Yrs Later): $1,527,701
1/1/19 (6 Yrs Later): $1,549,440
1/1/20 (7 Yrs Later): $2,035,040*
1/1/21 (8 Yrs Later): $3,379,746**
1/1/22 (8 Yrs Later): $4,762,642

2021: Investments only
1/1: $4,762,642
2/1: $4,404,447
3/1: $4,214,068
4/1: $4,499,622
5/1: $4,007,476

Overall
2022 investment gains: -$755,166
Investment gains since 1/1/2013: $3,421,433
Net worth***: $4,237,476

* The big jump between 2019 and 2020 was partly because we bought another home, but kept the previous (much more expensive) one as a rental. We have since sold it.

** Tesla.

*** Includes our primary home equity in addition to our investment portfolio.

Finally, we still have about $290,000 in mortgage debt (which I love!). No regrets about the debts!

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