I don’t like to stand around doing nothing. This includes:
- grocery store checkouts: I mitigate this one by using the self-checkout lanes which are always empty
- amusement parks: No way I’m waiting 60 minutes for a 90 second roller coaster ride.
- waiting for a sample pour at a beer fest: Do I need to explain?
- waiting to go to the bathroom after a large number of sample pours: Again, no explanation required.
The absolute worst is waiting in traffic and I avoid it at almost all costs. But last Thursday, it was unavoidable. Driving to Denver provided me with a flashback of my old commuter life.
In a typical day, I don’t drive at all. I walk the kids to school. I bike to the library. I prefer to move on foot, alone with my thoughts or in conversation with others.
Denver Driving Doldrums
I was headed to Denver for Startup Week and the commute should have only claimed 45 minutes of my life. It was raining though which always makes it worse. The 38 mile drive ended up taking 90 minutes. For much of the trip, I was going 20 mph in stop-and-go traffic.
About halfway there, some dude named Bob in a massive pickup truck started riding my bumper. How do I know his name was Bob you ask? The name was painted on the truck’s door. And Bob was a jerk, so I’m going to call him Bobnoxious.
Any time traffic in the lane next to me started moving faster, Bobnoxious would jump over in an attempt to pass me. Then, it would slow down and he’d find himself behind me again. And he was pissed. From the glares, I could tell that Bobnoxius was unhappy that I wasn’t tailgating the dude in front of me like he was tailgating me. Eventually, there was a big break and he floored it, glaring at me as he passed. Dude, I hope you’re not one of the folks complaining about the government when gas goes up a quarter.
I was disturbed to find that near the end of the commute, I was aggressive too. I almost rear-ended someone when the highway traffic came to a complete stop because I was going too fast. In short order, the rat race had turned me back into a rat. Not good.
By the time I finally parked the car, I was agitated and angry and in a foul mood. I turned off the car and just sat there with my eyes closed. I was already late for my session, so it didn’t matter. I thought about life:
Why was I so angry?
Why do I put all of this pressure on myself? September was the busiest month of my life.
And most of all, a general:
What the f*ck was I doing? Where was I going?
Instead or walking at my usual furious pace, I decided to slow down and take in the environment. I looked at the cloudy sky and the buildings around me.
I observed the construction workers.
I took a deep breath and considered the smell of the air.
Most of all, I thought about where my life was going. For the entire month of September, I’d been running around like a madman. September had kicked my ass. I was tired and felt defeated. And I’m supposed to be retired.
Focus
By the time I arrived at my session, I was in a better mood. I had mostly figured it out. I had my focus back. I knew what I wanted to do, at least for the rest of 2017:
- Blog: I love writing too much to give it up. I’ve tried to quit more than once, but the siren song of the keyboard always lures me back.
- Project: I want to ship version 1 of my new business. I love to write code, so why not continue to do it, especially for a meaningful project with a cool business partner? If the project makes me $5,000,000, wonderful! If not, I’ll have had a load of fun coding it up.
Depending on how busy my new project gets, I may lay off blogging for a bit too. I have some guest posts lined up to fill in the gaps.
I’m so thankful for some of the incredible opportunities that have come my way, but I have to stop working on them; at least for now.
Blue Skies
Later in the day, the clouds parted. I wandered around in a daze. Part of it was because I was dead tired. More than that, I felt liberated.
Less is more.
Letting go felt good. Having focus again felt good.
From here on out, I’m going to carefully consider what I really want out of life. I’ll only work on projects that I’m incredibly excited about and leave the rest behind.
Almost six months into Financial Independence, I’m still trying to figure it out. I’m making progress though.
Join the 10s who have signed up already!
Subscribing will improve your life in incredible ways*.
*Only if your life is pretty bad to begin with.
Hella-good post today, Mr. 1500. Reminds me of a run-in I had with a BMW driver a few months back. Man, did that foul up my mood. I don’t typically rant, but the blog got a load of it the next morning.
I’m pretty sure I’ll have days that remind me of the old slog after I’ve left the cube. Part of me wants that, just to reinforce why I worked so hard to be able to step away from the nonsense of a commute, dealing with office politics, and just plain SITTING.
Thanks for the kind comment Cubert!
“Part of me wants that, just to reinforce why I worked so hard to be able to step away from the nonsense of a commute, dealing with office politics, and just plain SITTING.”
Yep, it’s always good to have a little taste of the old, bitter medicine. And yeah, sitting sucks too*!
*21,000 steps for me yesterday!
Traffic is the WORST!!! I purposely have a reverse commute and try to avoid traffic as much as possible these days. My mood has greatly improved and I feel like I’m a much better husband.
I am still hoping that these autonomous vehicles come out soon so that I can fall asleep in the backseat and never worry about traffic again 🙂
Mustard Seed Money recently posted…Why Warren Buffett’s Dow Jones Prediction Is Wrong
Well I hope you don’t give up blogging entirely, I look forward to reading you post’s early morning with my cup of coffee while the house is still quiet. You have a real talent and a great sense of humor! Good luck with your other endeavors!
Nah, I like writing too much! And thank you for the kind comment. That means a ton. A metric ton at that!
When you weren’t on Budgets Are Sexy this morning, I had to come find you . 🙂
Isn’t it crazy how fast your focus can get fuzzy? I think it’s easy to say yes to so much, without pausing to see where we are and if we can handle it. I need to send my husband to read this, as this is what he’s been talking to me about so much lately. For us, it’s with our blog and business. Figuring out where we need to put our focus. So thank you. This was a much needed reminder.
I’m glad you figured out what you want to focus on. You’re supposed to be enjoying life, not stressing out! Hope you can keep that balance going that you feel focused on now!
This is one of the big issues with FIRE … you get really spoiled not being part of the rat race. You don’t have to put up with the traffic and long lines.
I love being able to go to the grocery store in the middle of the day and easily get my shopping done in 15 minutes. Going back to commute traffic and long lines sounds like a terrible idea.
I admit it, I’m spoiled.
Mr. Tako recently posted…Mr. Tako’s Best Recipes (2017)
That commuting thing is crazy. Thank God I am able to commute by bike most of the year. Just the obligation on some days to hop in the car makes me nervous.
Cannot wait to see your project. You deserve your peace of mind as you worked hard to make it possible to be free to work on what you want. Some days I would kill for the opportunity to be able to code a project which I truly care about… or at least which meets my values and/or interest.
[HCF] recently posted…The best investment advice I can give
Mr. 1500,
Problem: Slow, long commutes
Solution: Self-driving cars are coming soon to a road near you! The commute may still take time, but you won’t care so much. It doesn’t matter much to me because I’m already FIREd but, still, I hate driving anyway.
And I agree Less is More and letting go feels good. We downsized awhile ago and I feel much lighter and freer since we got rid of a lot of stuff.
When do you expect to publicly announce your project?
Mr. Freaky Frugal recently posted…Fearless downsizing
Mr FF! I friggin’ CAN’T wait for self-driving cars! Robots will drive waaaaay better than Bobnoxious!
After 5 years I’m still trying to slow down. I find my photography addiction is a great tool to help me stop, slow down, observe my surroundings and lose myself in the sights, sounds and smells of my immediate environment.
Ahhh, very cool. Perhaps I need to up my silent walking?
Traffic always makes me stressed and frustrated. I honestly think the elimination of a commute has been one of the biggest improvements to my life since moving and working remote. Thank you for the reminder to slow down and enjoy life 🙂
I love your comment about being alone with your thoughts – I honestly think people are afraid of this and are constantly trying to fill their time with business so they don’t have to think!
I’ve experienced that Denver commute when I stayed with a friend in Ford Collins, and drove to the mountains to go skiing – the area is beautiful but those highways are prisons!
This was a great post!
PedalsforPennies recently posted…Storage Wars – How I bought a house filled with stuff.
Yep, people can’t wait in line without pulling their phones out. Silent time is good time.
I hate traffic jam too. Didn’t I warn you to slow down a bit? 🙂
You’ve won the game. You don’t need to rush around anymore. I think it’s great that you’ll cut back a bit and only do the things you really love.
Joe recently posted…September 2017 Goals and Financial Update
At Denver Start up week did you listen to speech by Casey Neistat? I love listening to that guy. He just has an aura about him that is very inspiring.
While I live in a city that traffic can happen (but to me really isn’t that bad), it makes me glad I can work remotely 3 days a week.
No, I missed him! You’re the 3rd or 4th person who has mentioned that guy. I wanted to go to his session, but it was already filled up. Damn.
Everything you listed that annoys you is basically the same thing – waiting in line is simply a form of traffic suffered whilst standing. It’s ok man, you have conditioned yourself to hate it, because waiting in line be it on foot or in vehicle is wasting your time and ultimately your life. Clearly all or at least most of us living or working towards the FI path are motivated by the idea that time is our most precious resource. I’d focus on the fact that early retirement has afforded you the luxury to sit in traffic for something you want to do vs. something you have to do.
Sidebar: Beerfests should definitely offer a “If you are going to come back 6 times just say so and we will give you a non-toddler size cup” option. Someone please fix this archaic insult to our dignity.
“I’d focus on the fact that early retirement has afforded you the luxury to sit in traffic for something you want to do vs. something you have to do.”
Ha ha, luxury indeed! I like the way you think! 🙂
And I’d pay extra for that beerfest option!
I enjoyed this post, Bob sounds like a complete moron and it’s people like that who delay the traffic from clearing. Glad you cooled down and found yourself again. Most people would love to be in your situation, try and enjoy it! Don’t quit the blog though.
Over the years I’ve figured out life is too short to stress over little things constantly. My friend once described me as the most laid back guy he knows. I plan ahead constantly, and I try to let go of things outside my control, which is really most things that stress people out.
I’m curious about the project that’s got you energized, the blog will still be here when you get back. Just don’t completely drop it like i did to mine.
Oh man, I’m so excited about the project. It feels incredible to be writing code again.
Reading your post as i stare glumly at my terminal on one monitor, sadly and slowly blinking. And my emacs open on the other with a chunk of code i have no desire to reverse engineer….
*glare* 😉
Ha ha, any chance you’re a Rails developer?
I think busyness can happen in retirement or when you’re still firmly in the workforce. It’s about constantly making tough decisions to prioritize your time, but it sounds like you know that! 🙂 My mind and body are too sensitive to take on too much at once, so I’m always at the fork in the road, but making those tough decisions DOES keep life in balance more! Good luck!
Tonya@Budget and the Beach recently posted…September Rewind: The One Where I Didn’t Sleep
Traffic. Ughhh! In high school I commuted to school 30-miles every day on jammed Atlanta interstates. I had enough for a lifetime, and I think it’s part of the reason I live in a small college town now. Like your own experience, I have found those anger-inducing moments are also one of those good mindfulness practices. You can sort of tell how well you’re doing any given day by how much jerks can affect you and how quickly you get chill yourself out.
Simplifying and focusing is tougher than it seems. Especially when we’ve been in the habit of hustling for years. I’m still torn and go back and forth. I love contributing and I have talents I know are fun to use and help others. But creating more space is helpful personally too.
My Ecuador trip has been a forced chill-out for me. I’m still doing projects, but the simplicity of my schedule, the regular meals with my family, the walks everywhere, etc – are just amazing. I love the rythym of life like this.
Good luck with your 2 focuses going forward!
We’re all been followed by a Bob. It seems the Bob’s are migrating off the highways and onto every sideroad these days. Bob’s suck.
When do we get a peek at the new project?
Brian recently posted…Net Worth Update: September 2017
I find when you are surrounded by impatience, you too become impatient. This happens to me all the time, notably in traffic jams, at an airport, at a sports arena/concert. Anywhere that there is a lot of people trying to get from A to B brings out some monster inside of me.
Even now, living in a busy city, I’m always in a rush when there is usually no need to be. One day I’ll move to a small town and live a slower pace of life, that’s for sure.
Money Miser recently posted…Monthly Updates – A Brief History Lesson
Maybe the most successful blogs are the ones that go away…
Are you already at “I’m so busy, how did I have time to work?” stage?
I would not do the coding project for 1 year. See if it still is important.
Less is more. No is yes.
And this is a huge reason why I choose not to live in a big ass city like that. Traffic pisses me off to no end. I can drive on interstates and highways for countless hours but bumper to bumper city traffic makes me a worse human.
Try Atlanta Traffic. This is one of the reasons why I left my 9-5. The grind was unbearable.
Congrats on the new business. It is so satisfying working for yourself on your own terms.
Turning Point Money recently posted…The Time I Made $100,000 By Reading a Finance Blog
This sounds fun. I’m definitely starting to relax more. My commute is a 40 minute bike ride… no phone, no radio. Just me thinking to myself, solving the world’s problems.
It’s fanastic, and I feel so refreshed and awake by the time I’m there. it’s pretty fantastic.
This sounds fun. I’m definitely starting to relax more. My commute is a 40 minute bike ride… no phone, no radio. Just me thinking to myself, solving the world’s problems.
It’s fantastic, and I feel so refreshed and awake by the time I’m there. it’s pretty fantastic.
I think we like to treat FIRE as a “happily ever after moment” where everything is clear and wonderful. The reality is that we’re all human and we never have a moment where our lives are wrapped up neatly in a little bow. Mandatory work or not, it’s still going to be messy.
Also, Bobnoxious totally sucks. I’ve been stuck with people like that before and it’s so scary. It’s amazing what the anonymity of a two-ton piece of machinery will make some people do. Ugh.
Mrs. Picky Pincher recently posted…Feeling Your Tatas Is Frugal!
I spotted that you had stepped away from posting at BAS, so I’m glad you’re still here!
We have so many Bobs here! It gets right under my skin and I always mutter a curse or two, but then I breathe more slowly because I realize the following: I have a good income at a job I’m good at and haven’t had to commute daily in years. My flexibility means that being ten minutes later than I planned really doesn’t matter. So, why be mad?
I do stay mad longer when they’re reckless and put us in danger like that one Texan van driver that nearly took out our car last weekend but most of the time, like standing in line at the grocery store, it helps to remember that this pressure and anger is internally generated and is just negatively affecting everything that comes after like a domino effect. And I don’t want a random crappy driver to be the reason I’m grouchy at my family!
Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life recently posted…Just a little (link) love: high five edition
Finding focus and balance is so important. I think it will be a constant work-in-progress for me, ever-changing as life progresses and morphs. August and September were busy months for me too and I definitely feel like I lost my focus. You’re recent posts have really hit home with me and made me take a step back, breath and realize my current position. Efficiency and being mindful/ present have been the name of the game for me.
Mrs.Wow recently posted…The Power of the Cash Stack
Great story, and I feel you man, on the rat race, ‘cos I am friggin’ in it every day! I tell myself I am doing it for a lofty reason (like passion for the work) but it sure gets tested on days where my 30 min. daily commute turns into 1.5 hours due to weather or Bobnoxious’s and Jerkasaurus’s on the road. Looks like you were able to regain your coolness by taking a few deep breaths and looking up at the clouds or surroundings – I do the same thing when I feel pressured. Strangely, it works and saves me 30 min. of sitting in meditation with my mind aimlessly wandering and feeling pressured that I am not able to focus!
Ten Factorial Rocks recently posted…An Ode To The Cubicle Worker
Great article Mr 1500. Please don’t stop writing. The best is when you have an idiot like Bobnoxious passing and swerving in and out. Then 20 seconds later you pull up beside him at next light.
Thanks for your vote of confidence! I won’t stop writing because I flat out enjoy it too much! You may just see me a little less frequently in the couple of months…
I am no longer able to commute or to drive during Rush Hour. Seriously. It’s absolutely crazy and I avoid it like the plague. Denver Startup Week was absolutely amazing. Did you enjoy the sessions that you went to??
Michelle! I loved the sessions that I went to and thought Startup Week was great! I’ll definitely be back next year!
Commuting can be a killer in more ways than one. I also hate commuting to work (or used to any way).
My first “real job” was as a retail management intern with Sears. The store I got assigned to was normally 25-30 minutes in moving traffic, but getting to and from during rush hour was 60-75 minutes. It was terrible.
I decided during that summer that I’d avoid that type of commute if at all possible. Following college, I worked in Financial Services and either walked to work or took public transit in usually 15-20 minutes. Today I still walk.
As you mentioned, it’s nice to not waste time, or at least to do something productive during the commute.
Nice to hear that you learned the “commuting is horrible” lesson early on. I was still doing nasty commutes well into my 30s. Dumb, dumb, dumb.
This hits home. I hate waiting in lines, in traffic, for people, etc. In fact, I am starting a search for a possible new job and I am willing to pass on $10K’s of dollars just to not have to commute into a large city. Instead, I am willing to take a less paying job (same work), but only have a 10 minute car commute or a longer bike commute. We will see how it all pans out, but this is a huge factor in the job search.
FIbythecommonguy recently posted…September 2017: Net Worth Update #6
Great article! I haven’t achieved FI or early retirement yet. However, my gut tells me that this article is probably something most people that have retired early can relate to. It is such a drastic lifestyle change (one for the better of course) that there will be an adjustment period. We all work so freaking hard, between our regular jobs and hustling, to get to the end game that working our butts off and taking on as much as possible is in our blood. But now, as you transition, you have to test the waters and see what level of workload you are comfortable with and you desire. Some months you’ll overdo it and others you’ll probably think you could have done more. Eventually you will find that perfect balance. Just don’t give up blogging or doing whatever the heck you want to do!
Great read tonight!
Bert
Over subscribing to things is always going to be an issue for people who have many and varied interests (Which I think covers most people in general from experience).
It definitely pays to only carefully select opportunities that come our way rather than blindly sign up to everything and then end up running around like a headless chicken all your life.
I try (normally unsuccessfully) to have a mindset of almost being the opposite of the film/book “Yes Man” and say no to things unless I really want to do them. It’s actually a great book and based on a real guys real life experience (The author – Danny Wallace) – might be worth taking a read to see how not to do things haha 🙂
Hahaha, it’s amazing what happens when some people get behind the wheel. We are not meant to drive often.
Your story reminds me of this one 🙂
http://thehappyphilosopher.com/1376-2/
TheHappyPhilosopher recently posted…Death of a Colleague