I am a green person. I’m not a bleeding heart liberal, but I enjoy the outdoors. I like trees and looking at waterfalls. Going to a national park and hiking is my idea of a perfect vacation.
Lately though, nature isn’t returning the love. Quite the contrary, two trees and a shrub have been attacking my home viciously. The attacks are unprovoked and evil. I’m not sure what I did to incite their wrath. Did I not give them enough water? Did I not fertilize them to their liking. I don’t know.
A month or so back, the toilet started acting funny. It would barely flush. Did one of the kids clog it up by using half the roll in one sitting (not uncommon)?
Other very bad things started happening. Stuff started coming up through the bathtub drain that should never, ever, ever come up through a bathtub drain. Nasty. Really nasty.
I soon discovered that the main sewer line exiting the house was clogged. We rented a sewer line camera and a rooter. We discovered that the roots of a tree and a shrub had infiltrated the sewer line and clogged it.
First, we cleaned the roots from the line with the rooter. This was such a nasty and disgusting job, I won’t go into the details. Trust me, you don’t want me to. Unclogging a sewer line is something you never, ever want to do in your life. Every time I see a Roto-Rooter truck around town, my face momentarily turns green as I have a brief flashback.
I wanted to ensure that the roots could never terrorize my sewer line again, so I rented a chainsaw and Mr. Tree and Mr. Shrub now reside in the town’s compost heap. Sorry guys, but I can’t have you messing around with my toilet. You both brought this upon yourself.
The Root Wars Continue
We’re doing some work on the home and noticed that a cement wall in the back of our home was cracked and leaning over a bit. I pointed this out to someone more knowledgeable than me:
Me: Any idea what could be causing this wall to be leaning like this? Since the house is built on it, I need to stop this.
Chris: See that tree right there? I’ll bet it’s roots are pressing up against the wall.
Me (cue the ominous music): Really, a tree can shove over a cement wall?
I grabbed the shovel and started digging. It wasn’t long before I uncovered a massive root pressed up against the wall. SH$#!!! I went in and talked to the wife about it:
Me: Remember how Chris told us how that stupid tree may be shoving the wall over? I did some digging and this is the case.
Mrs. 1500: SH$#!!!
Me: Agreed. Tomorrow, I’ll see if I can find a service to come remove it.
Mrs. 1500: Why do we have to pay a service? That will cost hundreds. The chainsaw rental was only $35.
This got me thinking…
When I suggested we get a tree service over, I was thinking like most people seem to do. Why do anything ourselves when we can just pay someone to do it? I’m glad that the wife corrected me.
This got me thinking about how important it is to have a partner who shares your goals and is of a similar mindset. You may strive for financial independence, but if your wife collects $1,000 purses or your husband is into Porsches, you’re going to bump heads. Two people with a similar mindset is a very powerful thing.
I’ve noticed that we both have moments of weakness. I had one with the tree. Sometimes, the wife will suggest going out to eat and I’ll talk her into just having the leftovers. Occasionally, our moments of weakness overlap and we end up doing something we shouldn’t (looking at you Dairy Queen), but for the most part, we make each other stronger.
*Mrs. 1500 note: Mr. 1500 has had a passion for motorcycles since he was a boy. He bought his first when he was 18, and had one ever since I have known him. (He subscribes to Cycle World, in addition to EVERY SINGLE CAR MAGAZINE PRINTED!!!)
Once, when we lived in Chicago, his motorcycle was stolen and I convinced him to buy a replacement (used, of course). He drove the new one for a while, then the police called to tell him his original one was in the impound. Obscene impound fee later, we then had two. I got my license and was just getting comfortable enough on it to ride it to work, when I peed on the stick and found out the oldest little 1500 had taken up residence.
We sold my bike to someone who was absolutely delighted to find it, and a few years later we sold Mr. 1500’s to yet another person excited to own it. I have been trying to convince him to buy another one** for about a year and a half. Way less frivolous to own in Colorado, where the weather is awesome 9 months of the year, than in Wisconsin, where winter lasts 7-8 months. (Today, December 17, the weather is so nice the oldest little 1500 is riding her bike home from school. Too chilly in the morning to ride there, but hey, it IS December…)
**Mr. 1500 note: Crap, now I have to convince Mrs. 1500 to convince me not to buy a motorcycle. This is getting complicated.
Join the 10s who have signed up already!
Subscribing will improve your life in incredible ways*.
*Only if your life is pretty bad to begin with.