I’ve been trying to cut down on the ranting, but sometimes, I can’t help myself. Today, I present you with the worst gift ideas that I could dredge up from the bowels of the internet. This post contains NO affiliate links!
I have some questions for you:
- Have you ever dreamed of winning the local Ugly Sweater contest? Are you OK paying $695 to do so?
- Do you enjoy dressing like a 4 year-old boy?
If you answered yes to either of the above, I have just the thing for you, Rexy the $695 ugly sweater:
Really Coach, $695? Maybe you could charge that if it was made out of real dinosaurs. It isn’t.
The steep price isn’t stopping Coach from selling a load of them though. Celebrities are falling over themselves to buy this thing.
Truth be told, I could totally see myself wearing this. I like dinosaurs. I also like ugly clothes. Maybe I’ll stumble on one at the thrift shop when they cease to be cool…
What are cheese straws? I have no idea, but they look like a pile of yellow dog crap or a nasty type of parasitic worms:
For $79.95, you can enroll a loved (hated?) one in the Cheese Straw of the Month club. Mmmm mmmmm, the gift that keeps on giving. Except when it gives you constipation.
I can’t say anything about these leggings without being excessively vulgar, so I’ll stop now:
What do you get for the person who has everything? Have you considered a rock? No, seriously. Here is one you can buy from Nordstrom for the princely price of $85:
I can’t make this stuff up. Nordstrom paid someone to gather rocks, put them in leather pockets, and then sold out of them. People actually bought these.
And if $85 is too much for you, Nordstrom also has a $65 dollar version.
And if $65 is too much for you, put on a jacket and step outside. There are free versions on the ground.
Join the 10s who have signed up already!
Subscribing will improve your life in incredible ways*.
*Only if your life is pretty bad to begin with.