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The Ultimate Frugal Valentine’s Day Guide

February 8, 2021 by Mr. 1500 Days 13 Comments

The most romantic day of the year is upon us!

Valentine’s Day!

What’s more romantic than waiting 90 minutes for breadsticks at your local Olive Garden while risking exposure to a communicable disease?

Pretty much everything! But I digress.

V-Day isn’t easy. Expectations, hormones, and date budgets go into overdrive. But, don’t worry, I’m here to help!

To get you through this difficult time, I’ve created something special.

Just. For. You.

And the other 3 or 4 humans who read this nonsense.

I present you with:

The Ultimate Frugal Valentine’s Day Guide

Mrs. 1500 and I have been married for almost 20 years.

Mindy on our wedding night.

Everything evolves; marriages not excluded. Early in the relationship:

  • Person 1: I’m feeling amorous:
  • Person 2: We’re hiking in the middle of a forest?!?? WTF?!??
  • Person 1: I have a blanket in my backpack…

*** censored ***

Almost two decades later:

  • Person 1: I’m feeling amorous:
  • Person 2: *** Zzzzzzzzzzz…. ***
  • Person 1: *** nudge, nudge*** I’m feeling amorous. Are you asleep?
  • Person 2: Kind of. But OK. Go for it.

*** censored ***

*** Zzzzzzzzzzzz…***

Whoah, that was uncomfortable!

But, with ~20 years of firsthand knowledge of successful* marriage, I feel that I have some valuable knowledge to share. Enjoy!

*”Successful” loosely defined as not divorced**.

**This may change when Mindy reads this post!

OK, I’ll shut up now. I hope you enjoy the

Ultimate.

Frugal.

Valentine’s.

Day.

Guide.

Join the 10s who have signed up already!

Subscribing will improve your life in incredible ways*.

*Only if your life is pretty bad to begin with.

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Filed Under: Something Completely Different Tagged With: sex, valentine's day

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Chris says

    February 8, 2021 at 5:31 am

    I think 1500days might be the only FIRE blog where you will learn that and STD might not be a good idea as a valentine’s present.

    Reply
  2. Shane says

    February 8, 2021 at 7:01 am

    Maybe you could spice it up with some roleplaying.
    https://youtu.be/tPxeQw8vIug

    Reply
  3. Gwen @ Fiery Millennials says

    February 8, 2021 at 7:29 am

    I got the “breakup the week before” gift one time. Didn’t feel like a gift at the time, but it absolutely was. Interestingly enough, more relationships end this week than any other week.

    Reply
  4. Yyz says

    February 8, 2021 at 9:22 am

    No VD on Valentines Day….good to know

    Reply
  5. freddy smidlap says

    February 8, 2021 at 12:21 pm

    dude, that is a fantastic wedding day photo. interestingly, I “put out” a similar post for valentine’s day.
    freddy smidlap recently posted…Best Frugal Valentine Gift? Coitus!My Profile

    Reply
  6. Done by Forty says

    February 8, 2021 at 2:53 pm

    So much good advice here, Carl. The only problem is picking which amazing idea to foist upon Mrs. Done by Forty.

    Hope all is well and I’m fully in support of my friend’s car buying impulses. Go for it.
    Done by Forty recently posted…A Kinder Means TestingMy Profile

    Reply
  7. David @ Filled With Money says

    February 8, 2021 at 4:22 pm

    I’m taking notes and learning so much, Carl!! I thought this was sarcasm until I came across the “an STD is a bad valentine’s day gift”. That’s sound advice.

    This is better than gold.

    Reply
    • Mr. 1500 Days says

      February 9, 2021 at 10:41 am

      Correct. Do not give anyone an STD for Valentine’s Day. That would be bad.

      Reply
  8. Cathleen Cooks Stuf says

    February 11, 2021 at 9:36 am

    Right now, I’d take being given time for a nap…or sleep by 9pm. Having little kids is not easy for the romance side of marriage. (though we usually do our 1 romantic date a year at a restaurant in Waikiki…that we got a free gift card from the mister’s work for…which we couldnt use this year…because covid. Or we go have a picnic at hte beach and watch the sunset. )
    Cathleen Cooks Stuf recently posted…Podcast guesting and what working with ultra high net worth individuals taught meMy Profile

    Reply
  9. Chris@TTL says

    February 12, 2021 at 2:47 pm

    Looks like Jenni will be stabbing people all day on Sunday, so I’m probably off the hook. I’m sure she’ll be exhausted from all the thrusts.

    Probably worth it to save some lives…but does no one think of all the blood?

    I bet she’s close to surpassing a thousand on her own now!

    Happy V-day to you both 😉 Thanks for the laugh!
    Chris@TTL recently posted…4 Charities for Racial Equality (and Our January 2021 Budget Review!)My Profile

    Reply
  10. Zach says

    February 15, 2021 at 12:18 pm

    What a great laugh! Thanks for all the great tips!
    Zach recently posted…Pineapple MoneyMy Profile

    Reply
  11. Mr. Tako says

    February 16, 2021 at 12:05 am

    Solid advice all around! Romance just dripping off your ever word there Mr. 1500.

    You certainly do have a way with the ladies!

    Reply
    • Mr. 1500 Days says

      February 16, 2021 at 9:09 am

      Haha! I was NOT popular in high school…

      Reply

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Freedom!

My goal was to build a portfolio of $1,000,000 by February of 2017; 1500 days from the birth of this blog (January 1, 2013). And hey look, I’ve since retired!

Investments only (primary home excluded)
1/1/13 (The Start): $586,043
1/1/14 (1 Yr Later): $869,635
1/1/15 (2 Yrs Later): $987,351
1/1/16 (3 Yrs Later): $1,057,961
1/1/17 (4 Yrs Later): $1,257,128
1/1/18 (5 Yrs Later): $1,527,701
1/1/19 (6 Yrs Later): $1,549,440
1/1/20 (7 Yrs Later): $2,035,040*
1/1/21 (8 Yrs Later): $3,379,746**
1/1/22 (9 Yrs Later): $4,762,642
1/1/23 (10 Yrs Later): $3,112,821

2023: Investments only
1/1: $3,112,821

Overall
2023 investment gains: $0
Investment gains since 1/1/2013: $2,526,778
Net worth***: $3,342,821

* The big jump between 2019 and 2020 was partly because we bought another home, but kept the previous (much more expensive) one as a rental. We have since sold it.

** Tesla.

*** Includes our primary home equity in addition to our investment portfolio.

Finally, we still have about $290,000 in mortgage debt (which I love!). No regrets about the debts!

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Investing is risky business. The information contained on this site is for informational purposes only. As with all matters financial, proceed with caution. Do your research and seek professional advice.

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