A couple weeks ago, I wrote about a battle Mrs. 1500 and I were having over the thermostat. Writing it was a lot of fun, but we usually get along well, so I didn’t expect to write about another fight this soon. (Mrs. 1500 note: I wouldn’t characterize this as a fight…more like a disagreement because I am right and he is not…) However, a new conflict has broken out in the 1500 household. This time, it’s over our wayward Christmas tree.
Somewhere in our garage of chaos, there is an ugly plastic Christmas tree in a battered box. “Somewhere” is the key word because we have no clue where it actually is and the garage remains a disaster. (Mrs. 1500 note: I wouldn’t use the word ‘disaster.’ Let’s say untidy.) The tree is the plastic version of the Charlie Brown tree, so ugly that it’s barely even worth looking for. However, the holidays are upon us and Mrs. 1500 insists that we set up a tree. The kids eagerly support her position, so I’m outnumbered.
There are 2 problems:
- The tree could take years to find: It is in a small box and there is a lot of crap in our garage. Because of construction, the garage became our storage space. Neither car even fits at the moment. I don’t even recommend entering unless you’ve had a tetanus shot (Mrs. 1500 note: Oh, how I wish this weren’t true…) and aren’t afraid of box avalanches. (Mrs. 1500 note again: I have stacked the boxes very nicely, and the Mr. 1500 boxes now outnumber the Mrs. 1500 boxes combined with the Little 1500 boxes, so don’t try to pin this one on me, bub.)
- The tree may not even be there at all: This past year, we donated a bunch of stuff. We used to have multiple trees and we donated some (we had even uglier ones), if not all. So, we could spend a couple hours out there searching and come up empty. (Mrs. 1500 note: When we first got together, Mr. 1500 was living in his recently deceased grandmother’s house. She had 3 fake trees, and we just kept them. I think we are down to one now. Maybe zero. Yay decluttering!)
Me and the real tree to the rescue
I had a fantastic idea that I thought Mrs. 1500 would love. We’ve had this plant for years and it is some kind of pine tree (Norfolk Pine?). So my thought was this, “Hey, let’s just bring the plant out and substitute that for a tree. It isn’t the sturdiest thing, but the kids can make paper ornaments. Problem solved!”
Mrs. 1500 did not see it my way. When I told her about my idea, she glared at me and shook her head:
- Mrs. 1500: We are not using that. It looks nothing like a Christmas tree.
- Me: What’s wrong with it? Nothing! I don’t want to buy another tree when there is a good chance ours is in the garage somewhere!
- Mrs. 1500: What if it isn’t?
- Me: What if it is?
- Mrs. 1500: We are frugal in most ways. I am not spending Christmas without a tree!
On and on it went. I tried again and again to convince her that the plant was a worthy substitute, but she was having none of it. (Mrs. 1500 note: Probably I was having none of it because it looks nothing like a Christmas Tree…)
I suggested that we could decorate the tree in our yard. Mrs. 1500 reminded me that we cut that one down because it was invading our sewer line.
I suggested we just get a painting pole out of the garage and celebrate Festivus instead. That suggestion didn’t even warrant a verbal response, just a dirty look.
A Christmas Miracle
The battle was deadlocked. I went upstairs to do some work and the Mrs. stormed off into the garage. Not more than 10 minutes later, she announced excitedly that she had located Ugly Tree. (Mrs. 1500 note: Guess where I found the tree? In the attic above the garage. Up a rather sketchy wooden pull-down ladder – complete with one missing rung which is an ideal way to give yourself a mini heart attack when you forget it as you climb down. This was too heavy for me to have put up there. Mr. 1500 is much stronger than I am. Wonder how it got up there? Such a puzzler…) Our marriage and Christmas was saved.
I’m still going to decorate my plant though. And I hope Ugly Tree doesn’t go “missing” again…
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