We’ve been raked over the coals lately. We had to fire a builder who was helping us, but did shoddy work. Both of our girls got a nasty virus. Then the cold spell hit and froze our pipes.
However, out of bad can always come good. We found a builder who does excellent work and is helping me with carpentry (more on that later). Regarding the pipes, I now know how to plumb a house with PEX. It’s really easy and I highly suggest you try it. Do you know what a plumber costs?
Anyway, I stayed up late last night fixing the pipes and wasn’t going to post at all today, but then I sat down with the wife. I said, “Let’s see if we can spit out a quick post, how about the shortest books ever written.” Before long, we were laughing and bouncing ideas off of each other. Super fun! So, here is our list of shortest books ever written. Please chip in with some of yours!
Note: author in parentheses where applicable
Peaceful Eating in Restaurants (1500 children)
NBA Pros share their best Money Tips
How to get Rich with Beanie Babies*
Peaceful, fight-free Car Trips (1500 children)
How I got rich taking Stock Advice from the TV
Corn!
Big Book of Good Contractors that I’ve Hired
Quantum Physics for Dummies
My Favorite Gas Stations to fill up at (Mrs. 1500)**
Keys I haven’t lost, a Pictorial (Mr. 1500)
Toys that we’ve voluntarily put away (1500 children)
People we have lent Money To (1500s)
What I learned about Money in School
Plants Mrs. 1500 hasn’t killed yet
Getting rich by selling Amway or overpriced Candles***
Exciting road trips through Kansas and Nebraska
The Best Episodes of Small Wonder
The wit and wisdom of Paris Hilton
Adorable Spiders, a Picture Book
Best Recipes for Black Licorice****
Toilet seats Mr. 1500 has put down
Your turn! Leave your shortest books in the comments.
*This is the gift that keeps on giving WYOR.
**Mrs. 1500 hates fueling the car. She has a superpower where the low-gas light never comes on when she is driving.
***Few things are more painful than the family member or friend that gets caught up in an MLM and then aggressively tries to recruit you. Grrrrrr.
****I am one of the 3 people on earth who actually enjoys this.
Join the 10s who have signed up already!
Subscribing will improve your life in incredible ways*.
*Only if your life is pretty bad to begin with.
Brad @ RichmondSavers.com says
December 12, 2013 at 9:35 amYou two are seriously hilarious! I can only imagine how much fun you must have had coming up with those…
It’s sad that most of mine revolve around the insanity that is our life post-children. I’m not nearly as witty as you, but here it goes:
Quiet Mornings Spent Reading the Newspaper: A How-to Guide
Stress-free Drives from Virginia to Long Island
Evening Baths that Don’t Flood the Bathroom (RS Children)
Family Meals Where Everyone Eats the Same Food
Brad @ RichmondSavers.com recently posted…Lending Club Update December 2013
Mrs. 1500 says
December 12, 2013 at 8:58 pmBrad, we did have quite a good time, and even came up with more this morning. Look for Round Two at a future date.
Apparently we live in the same house.
Richie @ Practical Cents says
December 12, 2013 at 11:04 amI love the titles! Very funny! Here are a few of mine:
The Big Book of Honest Politicians
The Motor Vehicle Commission’s Guide of Express Services
Umbrellas I Haven’t Lost, a Pictorial
My Auto Repair Itemized List of Undercharges
The Art of Rush Hour Commute Serenity
The New York City Cab Drivers’ Guide of Driving Etiquette
Mrs. 1500 says
December 12, 2013 at 9:04 pmOh my goodness! I laughed out loud at the DMV one! So true!
FI Pilgrim says
December 12, 2013 at 11:05 amThose are awesome. Here are my contributions:
How to do quick math (Mrs FI Pilgrim)
Words that rhyme with “month”
And amen on using PEX, that stuff is awesome!
FI Pilgrim recently posted…FI 101: Two Stages Of Debt
Mrs. 1500 says
December 12, 2013 at 9:04 pmI, too could write the math book. Alas…
Elroy says
December 12, 2013 at 11:11 amConstruction Projects I have finished 100%.
PEX is the bees knees. I broke down and bought the expensive crimp tool. But I only had to sweat 2 adapters instead of 7-8 (or more than likely, I was going to use sharkbite).
Elroy recently posted…Getting $*@% Done
1500 says
December 13, 2013 at 9:04 amYes, PEX is the best thing ever. Almost as good as those Girl Scout cookies with caramel.
The last time I hired a plumber, it was like $1000 for a day’s work. Holy *&^%*#@^ **$^! I swore from that point on that I’d do it all myself if I could. And I have.
Allie says
December 12, 2013 at 11:16 amHAHA @ Exciting Road Trips Through Kansas and Nebraska. Ain’t that the truth.
Allie recently posted…Going Veg: The First 90 Days
Mrs. 1500 says
December 12, 2013 at 9:06 pmWe had a friend recently drive through Kansas. They had a transmission leak in below-zero temperatures, then as soon as he had thawed from fixing the transmission, they blew a tire. In below-zero temperatures, that rips off the bumper, quarter panel, back panel, etc.
Brian says
December 12, 2013 at 12:07 pmPolite Chicago Drivers
Celebrating the World Series victories of San Diego, Texas, Houston, Milwaukee, Washington (Nationals), Seattle, Tampa Bay and Colorado
Also I’m with the others who have mentioned the exciting road trips through Kansas and Nebraska, that brought a tear of joy to my eye to read
Mrs. 1500 says
December 12, 2013 at 9:07 pmPolite Chicago Drivers! I am crying right now!
Don’t forget the Post-Season Highlights of the Chicago Cubs.
Karen says
December 12, 2013 at 12:14 pmCongress: A study in efficiency and productivity.
Ha!
1500 says
December 13, 2013 at 9:04 amAre you trying to say our lawmakers waste time, money and fight over sill stuff? 🙂
Ree Klein says
December 12, 2013 at 1:25 pmI wish I could be a fly on the wall at your house…can flies laugh?!?!?!
My favorite is: Adorable Spiders, a Picture Book. I HATE spiders…let’s face it, anything with eight legs is evil! Okay here’s my attempt at a good title.
– Drama-free Family Gatherings
– What I’ll do with my Inheritance
– Tips for saving money with LivingSocial
– Bilingual Pets – A Documentary
If I think of more…I’ll come back! Thanks for the Thursday smile 🙂
Ree Klein recently posted…No One Can Make You Feel Sexy
Mrs. 1500 says
December 12, 2013 at 9:10 pmDrama-Free Family Gatherings! I am on the floor right now!!! We are going to BOTH sides this year, and I can count on at least 3 fights right off the bat. The most wonderful time of the year, indeed.
Mike Hardy says
December 12, 2013 at 3:36 pmGuess I’m going to have scratch the road trip through the Great Plains I had planned with the toddler + wife and a bunch of black twizzlers. Thanks for killing the dream you guys 😉
1500 says
December 13, 2013 at 9:05 amHa ha!
I really like black licorice, but when I tell people that, they look at me like I have a cat glued to my face. I’m surprised the stuff is even sold.
Mom @ Three is Plenty says
December 12, 2013 at 3:47 pmFree-Flowing Roads of Northern VA/DC/Maryland
Pot-Hole Free Roads of Pennsylvania
Foods that Dad Won’t Eat
And I totally agree on Exciting Road Trips through Kansas and Nebraska
Sorry to hear your pipes burst, but happy to hear that you were able to repair them! I love Black Licorice….
Mom @ Three is Plenty recently posted…Freezing Cold Weather and No Power
Mrs. Pop @ Planting Our Pennies says
December 12, 2013 at 6:06 pmhaha, too funny. How about…
total LOL at “pothole free roads in PA”!
How about…
– The Birds and the Bees as Taught By Mrs PoP’s Parents
followed up by…
– Awkward Conversations You’ll Want to Have!
Mrs. Pop @ Planting Our Pennies recently posted…Thoughts On Art And Money – Art Basel 2013
Mrs. 1500 says
December 12, 2013 at 9:11 pmPothole Free Roads of PA could easily be written to include Chicago, Wisconsin, Colorado… Those are the places I have lived since getting a drivers license.
Michelle @fitisthenewpoor says
December 12, 2013 at 4:10 pmHA! LOVE THIS.
Mine is: The Times I Said I Loved My Day Job
Michelle @fitisthenewpoor recently posted…The Real Cost of the RTW Amazing Race
Mrs. 1500 says
December 12, 2013 at 9:12 pmAlong the same lines, Bosses I Respect. Bosses Who Listen. Managers Who Give Credit Where Credit is Due. Literally endless is the list.
anna says
December 12, 2013 at 4:23 pmLOL at The Wit and Wisdom of Paris Hilton! Aww, you don’t have *any* fave episodes of “Small Wonder”? Not even when the adorable Harriet would put the moves on Jamie (okay, so that was like every episode).
For your consideration:
-How to make your Costco trip in ten minutes or less
-How to get rock hard abs in only 2 minutes a day
-How to never have a fight in a relationship
Man, even those are stinkers… you and the Mrs. are quite witty, thanks for the laughs. 🙂
anna recently posted…K.i.s.s.’ed my debt good-bye
Mrs. 1500 says
December 12, 2013 at 9:13 pmThat Costco one! Another would be Getting Out of Costco for Less Than $100.
Micro says
December 12, 2013 at 9:47 pmBlack licorice gets a bad rep. I never liked it as a child but now I don’t mind it at all. Here are my thoughts:
– Smartest things I’ve done while intoxicated
– My favorite dental procedures
– How to build an Apple computer from scratch
– My greatest Driver’s License photos
Micro recently posted…Before You Open a New Bank Account, Read These 3 Warning Signs
1500 says
December 13, 2013 at 8:58 amMicro, these are great! I like the drunk one. I’ll write the sequel: “Smart use of Social Median when Drunk”
writing2reality says
December 13, 2013 at 12:26 amBahaha I knew it was only a matter of time before the beanie babies story made another appearance!!
Love the short story list! Wouldn’t be a 1500 list without references to poop, kids fighting, and Mrs. 1500’s unique gas talent.
writing2reality recently posted…Lending Club – Adding Investor Comparisons and Pushing PRIME
1500 says
December 13, 2013 at 8:55 amAhhhh WYOR, you know us all too well!
Tammy R says
December 12, 2013 at 10:29 pmThis list is TOP NOTCH!!! I would really like to co-author the Plants (We) Haven’t Killed with Mrs. 1500.
Let’s see…how about…
Days in My Adult Life Free of the F-Bomb
Belts that Buckle After the Holidays
Stores That Don’t Play Christmas Carols after Halloween
Living Squirrels in the Middle of the Road (Photo Book)
1500 says
December 13, 2013 at 8:57 amHoly crap Tammy, these are brilliant!
Because of my home repairs, I’ve been to Home Depot about 47 times since Thanksgiving. If I hear their crappy Christmas Carols one more time, I’m going to lose it!
Talis Norlund says
December 13, 2013 at 11:00 am“Genuine acts of kindness that I have regreted “.
” Infomercials are all about value and amazing products”.
“Time wasted in the company of children”.
“Smart financial decisions before 30”.
“Smart decisions made while under the influence”.
Done by Forty says
December 13, 2013 at 11:10 amToo funny! We actually own book written by Paris Hilton (yes, truly). We saw it on sale at a Borders for $1 years ago, and it is maybe my favorite book of all time. It’s called, “Your Heiress Diary…Confess it All to Me”. It’s a guided diary that asks it readers to consider, “I feel like an heiress today because:_____” and “My favorite things that are in my closet:______”
I opened to a random page and here is what it says:
“A real heiress dreams about: 1) Cute boys 2) A great wardrobe 3) Being a great beauty 4) Actually, none of the above, because she has all that. She sleeps really well, too.”
Best book ever, right?
Done by Forty recently posted…One Case of Homelessness
Green Money Stream says
December 13, 2013 at 5:49 pmThis is fun! I love being a mom, but the first book that comes to my mind is:
All the Wonderful Mornings My Son Slept Past 6:00 AM
Green Money Stream recently posted…What Does Your Financial Selfie Look Like?
cj says
December 19, 2013 at 11:02 amHow about: How to Find a Pint of Quality IPA for Fewer Than $4 (subtitle: even at Happy Hour)?
Have a Merry one, my lovlies!!!
cj recently posted…Our Holiday Gift to You
Viking Tantan says
June 29, 2016 at 1:07 am“Adorable Spiders, a Picture Book”: I would fill this with pictures of various jumping spiders. They’re sooooo adorable. 🙂
1500 says
June 29, 2016 at 6:42 amHa ha, mice!