I know what you’re thinking:
Right?
Wait, give me a minute! I put my version together in an easy, short format! It’s just a bunch of numbers, pictures and ShamWows!
Fun!
Order now and I’ll throw in 5 Bonus ShamWows at no additional cost! And if you don’t like the post, I’ll give you a full refund and you get to keep the bonus ShamWows!
Not really.
What the hell is a ShamWow anyway? Oh my, I googled the term. Whatever you do, don’t look at Urban Dictionary’s definitions. Of course, I linked to it because I want you to look at it. You always learn something new over on the good old UB. I use learn in very loose terms here…
Now I’m distracted. You will be too if you just clicked on that link. I’m sorry. Ugggh…
And wow (or should I say ShamWow), this post has really taken a turn for the worst. I’m soaring to new depths of stupidity. Hey, at least this isn’t a typical year-in-review write-up where I toot my horn about blog traffic, my favorite post, blog income or all of the amazing accomplishments of my children. Hell, if the younger one remembers to change her underwear daily, I put a big X in the win column. Set the bar low and you have nowhere to go but up. Or should I say butt.
Have I hit rock bottom yet? I think so.
You realize that the time you’ve spent reading this drivel are precious. You’ll never get it back. You’re also not getting even one ShamWow out of the deal.
It’s OK to click away and never return. If you think that I’ve really wronged you, leave a nasty comment. I’ll cry a little, but don’t worry about me. I’ll be OK. Probably…
Random Stats
Now that you’ve made it through the worst introduction in blog history, let’s get on with the show! It only gets better from here!
Without any more nonsense (until the next section), I give you my 2017 in numbers, pictures and an angry wife!
Money!
This blog is supposed to be about financial independence and you can’t have that without money, so here are the juicy stats:
Portfolio on 1/1/2017:
$1,257,128
Portfolio on 12/31/2017:
$1,527,701
Net worth on 1/1/2017:
$1,627,128
Net worth on 12/31/2017:
$1,992,701
If you told me 20 years ago that one day I’d be worth $1,992,701:
Amount we made from private lending and syndication deals:
$23,115
Number of mobile-home parks we bought this year:
1
Cost to live in our current home:
$1,200 per month
Cost to live in a mobile-home park:
Almost nothing!
Mrs. 1500’s reaction when I suggested that we sell our home and move to the mobile-home park:
Fitness
Weight on 1/1/2017:
171
Weight on 12/31/2017:
157
5k time at the beginning of the year:
34 minutes
5k time at the end of the year:
28 minutes
Estimated weight and 5k time if I had more willpower:
148 and 24 minutes
My body:
Estimated body if I had 50% less beer and 50% more motivation:
Travel!
New states visited:
6: New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Maine and Vermont
New countries visited:
3: Ireland, Scotland, England
Amount of money we spent on hotels and flights:
Less than $100. Thanks credit card points!
Number of hours we slept in a really dirty McDonald’s booth at an airport because we had been awake for 2 days straight because of airline debacles:
6
Dinosaurs!
Dinosaur appearances on 1500 Days:
2,372
Number of formal complaints 1500 Days has received from the DAG (Dinosaur Actors Guild):
27
Who Could Forget Our Annual Thermostat Wars?
Average temperature in our home for the month of December:
84
Number of times Mrs. 1500 and I have sniped at each other over the thermostat:
432
Number of times I mentioned the Frugalwoods or Our Next Life who keep their homes at saner temps:
392
Number of times Mrs. 1500 has cared what the Frugalwoods or Our Next Life keep their thermostat set at:
0
What Mrs. 1500 looks like after she realized I’ve turned the thermostat down to a reasonable temperature:
Number of minutes Mrs. 1500 is going to yell at me because I posted that picture again:
14
Random
Number of gangsta rap songs Mrs. 1500 performed on a podcast:
1 (sorry Mad Fientist)
Number of times the Mad Fientist is going to allow us on his podcast again:
0
Number of times a celebrity trolled me:
1
Number of times that I’ve used crappy memes because I lack creativity and can’t come up with anything better:
I hope your 2018 kicks ass! Thank you for sticking around to read my silly words!
Join the 10s who have signed up already!
Subscribing will improve your life in incredible ways*.
*Only if your life is pretty bad to begin with.
Sounds like 2017 wasn’t too shabby at all! Bravo for your health and fitness goals. 🙂 I’ve been getting back on the workout train and, although I hate working out, I do like the side effect, which is weight management. Oh, cruel cupcakes, you tempt me so!
Mrs. Picky Pincher recently posted…What A Frugal Christmas Week! December 29
Ha, ShamWow only needs to be explained to a group of frugal cable-cutters who never watch TV. Adept readers will recognize that Scotland is actually not an independent country, but knowing your blog gets massive page views if we keep saying that we might start a war.
Great year man. Get that net worth back over the 2-mil mark and keep it there!
Accidental FIRE recently posted…2017 Summary, Proud And Grateful
Doh regarding Scotland! Or maybe I’m just trying to pump up my numbers! Or maybe I was drinking when I wrote it!
> Scotland is actually not an independent country
One day, one day…
Glad to play some continuing role in your ongoing thermostat feud. 😉 Hahahahaaha. Hope you guys had a wonderful new year! It was soooo awesome hanging out with you guys last week — thanks again for being an awesome human.
It was great hanging out with you too! I hope our paths cross many times in the new year.
“Mrs. 1500’s reaction when I suggested that we sell our home and move to the mobile-home park”…
Ha, your next image was great.
Congrats also on your 1-Jan to 31-Dec-2017 net worth increase – 58.5% increase is incredible.
Also, it’s nice to see you have a list of balanced goals beyond personal finance. Good luck in 2018!
Mike @ Balanced Dividends recently posted…Passive Income & Portfolio – December 2017 Update
Good luck to you too Mike!
That was the most entertaining round up yet. Mrs. 1500’s rap was great by the way, no need to apologize for it. Congrats on a huge 2017.
Congrats on the progress. As for the rest of this post, I’m left looking for the number of beers drank while writing this post entry.?
ROFL that was probably the most entertaining 2017 recap post yet. Thank you!
ps Sorry if I added to the thermostat arguments the other day!
Budget On a Stick recently posted…2017 Q4 Net Worth Update
Happy New Year, Mr. & Mrs. 1500 and family (and dinosaurs)!
I look forward to seeing you guys in a few days down at CampFI Southeast. I’ll bring the Shamwows.
Cheers!
-PoF
Best yearly review ever! Your drawings skills are really improving over the years 😉
Best wishes for 2018 and good luck with the running preps.
Happy New Year Mr. and Mrs. 1500.
Cheers to a 2018 full of cash money and laughter!
Wow. What a great year. Congrats on the numbers and look forward to your posts in 2018! Maybe more gangsta rap?
I’m thinking we’ll branch out into Death Metal or Emo Screamo for 2018…
Some nice looking numbers…and you’re totally bringing sexy back (ha!).
Certainly, the financial goals are the best, but I think getting your weight down is the most impressive now if I could only copy that (after I just ate falafel for lunch). Oh well, I can live vicariously through you.
Jason recently posted…Small Ways to Improve Your Finances in 2018
Does 50% less beer really give you more hair on the pecs? ‘Cause that’s the last thing I need. All the more reason for me to keep beer consumption steady as she goes.
The Graying Saver recently posted…Getting a Head Start on Gratitude
The year of 2017 was so good, according to the numbers anyway. Hope the next year will be even better, and yes, I feel your pain about the temperature at the house.
P.S.
In my ideal world, a temperature would be around 65F
The Friendly Russian recently posted…December 2017 Net Worth Update
Happy New Year!
Yes, hope everyone has a great 2018! Keeping track of your finances would be a great way to start the new year.
Thanks,
GBM
A very Happy New Year to you and yours! May your 2018 be so awesome that your 2017 wants to run off into a corner and die of shame for being so shoddy.
Mrs. BITA recently posted…Stats and Gratitude
Happy New Year to you as well Mrs. BITA!!! And it was fun meeting you in 2017! Hopefully our paths cross again in 2018!
Congrats on the outstanding year Carl.
Just curious – will you (or maybe you have and I missed it) be writing about your experience with PeerStreet? I’m an investor there and was interested in hearing how the platform compares to your experience with private lending.
Here’s to making 2018 a good one!
I signed up for PeerStreet, but didn’t put any money into it. The main reason is that I’ve had better opportunities with private lending. I would like to give PeerStreet a go soon though.
I think you should try just getting a tan first before going the drastic 50% less beer route. Awesome stuff and entertaining as always.
JC recently posted…Setting Records | Dividend Update – December 2017
A tan!?? Nah, I like blinding fellow humans when I take my shirt off!
Nicely done on the weight loss! I notched 2.6 pounds of weight loss. That’s terrible. It was about 7 pounds more but I really let myself go with the holiday eating. I’m off to a good 2018 start though.
Financial Velociraptor recently posted…Sold puts Grub Hub (GRUB)
Happy New Year and Congrats on the 2017 results!
This is the best year in review post I think, thanks for the laughs!!! I still think buying mobile park was a good idea. It’s something I’m willing to look into when we’re worth $1.99 mil (ah heck just say $2 mil :p) too except my husband won’t be able to stop me.
Haha! Hilarious 2017 wrap-up post Carl! May your 2018 be just as good!
Mr. Tako recently posted…2017 Year-End Net Worth Update
This is the best wrap up post I have ever read… I was expecting more memes, but the drawings made a great compensation. Congrats on the results!
[HCF] recently posted…Funny Friday – Best Of Edition
That sounds like an awesome year! So many milestones. Getting called out by a celebrity would be one of my highlights too. Sooooooo close to $2M net worth too.
You should do a post about how long it took to get to the first $1M and then how long it took to get the second $1M.
Owen @ PlanEasy recently posted…Attention Financial Voyeurs! See Our 2018 Family Budget
Nice job in 2017. It sounds like a super busy year for you guys. That’s the best way to spend early retirement Good luck in 2018! Looking forward to reading more about the mobile home park.
Joe recently posted…2017 Goals and Financial Wrap Up
Thanks for wasting my time! And a happy 2018 of course!
Ha ha, no problem! If you need to waste more time, there are like 500 other posts here!
This is one the funniest 2017 recap’s ever! Enjoyed every bit of it! And congrats for ending the year with a healthy net worth. And I am moving to a place where I don’t have to worry about Winter Thermostat settings at all…:-) Have a great 2018!
Ten Factorial Rocks recently posted…The Big Decision
Funny!! Great year end review. Hope your 2018 is just as good.
FIbythecommonguy recently posted…December 2017: Net Worth Update #9
Very entertaining! Thank you and Happy New Year.
BTW, we have the same on-going saga at our house with the thermostat…but I have my ways:)
Caroline recently posted…Income, Expenses And Goals Update – December 2017 (Part 1)
I am totally on board with keeping the house at a reasonable temperature! We keep ours at 62 when we’re home and 58 while we’re at work. I just rock the wool socks and multiple layer look to keep warm.
This post is hilarious, so cool. Shamwows remind me of the lovely movie “Last Vegas” by the 4 guys, the commercial Paddy was watching.
84 degrees for winter. Probably you folks don’t need much AC for summer. My house used to be 68 degrees in the winter. This year it was lowered to 65. I’m always the one feeling cold. It seems working all right this year so far.
Haha this is awesome! It must be the most fun yet comprehensive 2017 review I’ve seen so far. Creativity never disappoints!
P.S. I think the drawing of Mrs. 1500 is cute 😀
Ms. Frugal Asian Finance recently posted…5 Things We No Longer Do To Save Money
LOL, definitely the best 2017 in review I’ve read yet!
Thank you!