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2017 Review: ShamWows, Numbers, Dinosaurs, Pictures, Angry Wife!

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I know what you’re thinking:

Right?

Wait, give me a minute! I put my version together in an easy, short format! It’s just a bunch of numbers, pictures and ShamWows!

Fun!

Order now and I’ll throw in 5 Bonus ShamWows at no additional cost! And if you don’t like the post, I’ll give you a full refund and you get to keep the bonus ShamWows!

Not really.

What the hell is a ShamWow anyway? Oh my, I googled the term. Whatever you do, don’t look at Urban Dictionary’s definitions. Of course, I linked to it because I want you to look at it. You always learn something new over on the good old UB. I use learn in very loose terms here…

Now I’m distracted. You will be too if you just clicked on that link. I’m sorry. Ugggh…

And wow (or should I say ShamWow), this post has really taken a turn for the worst. I’m soaring to new depths of stupidity. Hey, at least this isn’t a typical year-in-review write-up where I toot my horn about blog traffic, my favorite post, blog income or all of the amazing accomplishments of my children. Hell, if the younger one remembers to change her underwear daily, I put a big X in the win column. Set the bar low and you have nowhere to go but up. Or should I say butt.

Have I hit rock bottom yet? I think so.

You realize that the time you’ve spent reading this drivel are precious. You’ll never get it back. You’re also not getting even one ShamWow out of the deal.

It’s OK to click away and never return. If you think that I’ve really wronged you, leave a nasty comment. I’ll cry a little, but don’t worry about me. I’ll be OK. Probably…

 

Random Stats

Now that you’ve made it through the worst introduction in blog history, let’s get on with the show! It only gets better from here!

Without any more nonsense (until the next section), I give you my 2017 in numbers, pictures and an angry wife!

Money!

This blog is supposed to be about financial independence and you can’t have that without money, so here are the juicy stats:

Portfolio on 1/1/2017:

$1,257,128

Portfolio on 12/31/2017:

$1,527,701

Net worth on 1/1/2017:

$1,627,128

Net worth on 12/31/2017:

$1,992,701

If you told me 20 years ago that one day I’d be worth $1,992,701:

Amount we made from private lending and syndication deals:

$23,115

Number of mobile-home parks we bought this year:

1

Cost to live in our current home:

$1,200 per month

Cost to live in a mobile-home park:

Almost nothing!

Mrs. 1500’s reaction when I suggested that we sell our home and move to the mobile-home park:

Fitness

Weight on 1/1/2017:

171

Weight on 12/31/2017:

157

5k time at the beginning of the year:

34 minutes

5k time at the end of the year:

28 minutes

Estimated weight and 5k time if I had more willpower:

148 and 24 minutes

My body:

Estimated body if I had 50% less beer and 50% more motivation:

 

Travel!

New states visited:

6: New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Maine and Vermont

New countries visited:

3: Ireland, Scotland, England

Amount of money we spent on hotels and flights:

Less than $100. Thanks credit card points!

Number of hours we slept in a really dirty McDonald’s booth at an airport because we had been awake for 2 days straight because of airline debacles:

6

Dinosaurs!

Dinosaur appearances on 1500 Days:

2,372

Number of formal complaints 1500 Days has received from the DAG (Dinosaur Actors Guild):

27

 

Who Could Forget Our Annual Thermostat Wars?

Average temperature in our home for the month of December:

84

Number of times Mrs. 1500 and I have sniped at each other over the thermostat:

432

Number of times I mentioned the Frugalwoods or Our Next Life who keep their homes at saner temps:

392

Number of times Mrs. 1500 has cared what the Frugalwoods or Our Next Life keep their thermostat set at:

0

What Mrs. 1500 looks like after she realized I’ve turned the thermostat down to a reasonable temperature:

Number of minutes Mrs. 1500 is going to yell at me because I posted that picture again:

14

Random

Number of gangsta rap songs Mrs. 1500 performed on a podcast:

1 (sorry Mad Fientist)

Number of times the Mad Fientist is going to allow us on his podcast again:

0

Number of times a celebrity trolled me:

1

Number of times that I’ve used crappy memes because I lack creativity and can’t come up with anything better:

 

I hope your 2018 kicks ass! Thank you for sticking around to read my silly words!

Join the 10s who have signed up already!

Subscribing will improve your life in incredible ways*.

*Only if your life is pretty bad to begin with.

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Comments

  2. Ha, ShamWow only needs to be explained to a group of frugal cable-cutters who never watch TV. Adept readers will recognize that Scotland is actually not an independent country, but knowing your blog gets massive page views if we keep saying that we might start a war.

    Great year man. Get that net worth back over the 2-mil mark and keep it there!
    Accidental FIRE recently posted…2017 Summary, Proud And GratefulMy Profile

  3. Glad to play some continuing role in your ongoing thermostat feud. 😉 Hahahahaaha. Hope you guys had a wonderful new year! It was soooo awesome hanging out with you guys last week — thanks again for being an awesome human.

  8. Happy New Year, Mr. & Mrs. 1500 and family (and dinosaurs)!

    I look forward to seeing you guys in a few days down at CampFI Southeast. I’ll bring the Shamwows.

    Cheers!
    -PoF

  9. Best yearly review ever! Your drawings skills are really improving over the years 😉
    Best wishes for 2018 and good luck with the running preps.

  18. Congrats on the outstanding year Carl.

    Just curious – will you (or maybe you have and I missed it) be writing about your experience with PeerStreet? I’m an investor there and was interested in hearing how the platform compares to your experience with private lending.

    Here’s to making 2018 a good one!

    • I signed up for PeerStreet, but didn’t put any money into it. The main reason is that I’ve had better opportunities with private lending. I would like to give PeerStreet a go soon though.

  22. This is the best year in review post I think, thanks for the laughs!!! I still think buying mobile park was a good idea. It’s something I’m willing to look into when we’re worth $1.99 mil (ah heck just say $2 mil :p) too except my husband won’t be able to stop me.

  28. This is one the funniest 2017 recap’s ever! Enjoyed every bit of it! And congrats for ending the year with a healthy net worth. And I am moving to a place where I don’t have to worry about Winter Thermostat settings at all…:-) Have a great 2018!
    Ten Factorial Rocks recently posted…The Big DecisionMy Profile

  31. I am totally on board with keeping the house at a reasonable temperature! We keep ours at 62 when we’re home and 58 while we’re at work. I just rock the wool socks and multiple layer look to keep warm.

  32. This post is hilarious, so cool. Shamwows remind me of the lovely movie “Last Vegas” by the 4 guys, the commercial Paddy was watching.

    84 degrees for winter. Probably you folks don’t need much AC for summer. My house used to be 68 degrees in the winter. This year it was lowered to 65. I’m always the one feeling cold. It seems working all right this year so far.