When I was a kid, I remember lusting after sports cars. I’m sure I had a poster of a Lamborghini Countach on my wall. I remember even dreaming about cars as a kid and young adult. I thought it would so cool to own one.
But I was always a saver, even as a kid. This continued on to adulthood where Mindy and I have lived a frugal life. I’ve always fixed my own stuff, taken care of my house, and looked for the best price. It was just a continuation of how I’ve always lived. It’s just silly to waste a resource. I turn off lights in unoccupied rooms, conserve water, and most importantly, don’t waste money.
Note: I did have one spending experiment, buying my dream car. However, I was fairly certain that it would be cheap to maintain and that I’d be able to get all of my money back when I sold it. Both assumptions turned out to be true.
I always wondered if we were missing something. What would we spend on if we weren’t so cheap? This was the point of talking to Ramit. Ramit encouraged us to embrace spending on whatever version of life would make us happy. We felt liberated; we had permission to spend. But then, something happened that was unexpected and good. More on that in a moment.
We spent money on small things like a house cleaner which frees us up to do more of what we want to do. We also spent money on big things. I’m typing this from an Airbnb in Seattle. We’re about to take my extended family on a cruise.
While it was liberating to feel free to spend money, it made me realize and appreciate something much more important.
The search to find things to spend money on was mostly futile. I like my house and my neighbors. I like my community. My cars get the job done. We have the right amount of adventure and travel in our lives. Even if I had $100,000,000, I wouldn’t change any of this. Why mess up a good thing? Giving myself full permission to blow money gave me a greater appreciation for how great life is now.
All of this is probably easier to wrap your mind around from a vantage point of wealth. Young Me thought those fancy cars were cool. But how much of that came from the fact that I couldn’t afford them? Now that I could buy one, I don’t want it. There is a lot of joy in simplicity, so why complicate life?
So, I said this a moment ago:
Ramit encouraged us to embrace spending on whatever version of life would make us happy.
The beautiful thing I realized was just how great life is right now. Aside from being a little more generous, I’m already living the version of life that make me happy. I just needed to view everything from a different vantage point to truly appreciate it.
I hope you find your version of happiness too.
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A good problem to have, right Carl? Especially when you can upgrade to first class, take a better flight time, or a nicer hotel. Or paying for better quality furniture, clothes, material, etc. Love that you are buying time back by hiring a cleaner so you can do things you enjoy. You’re living your best life, and still able to be more philanthropic. You’re the man!
After reading this post, I couldn’t help but think of The Wizard of Oz, with Dorothy going ultimately concluding that there’s no place like home. Since FIREing, I’ve more or less come to the same conclusion as you now have. I not only pinch myself when I think about my post-FIREing reality, I pinch myself harder when I’m reminded that I’ve ACTUALLY REALIZED that I’m genuinely content and happy. That is, I’m no longer (thinking about) chasing A next thing. Being content and happy, and knowing it, IS the thing. Anything better and/or life-enhancing that comes my way is a happy bonus (that I’m of course pleased to accept). I suspect even a lot of people who’ve FIREd take a long time to find this clarity . . . or never do so at all. Bully for you, Carlothy, er, I mean, Carl!
So what’s the plan then? Spend generously on cruises and these kinds of things for family and friends, but not spend on upgrading every other part of your life?
I think you may be onto something.
“… but not spend on upgrading every other part of your life”
The point is that everything is great. There is nothing to upgrade.
And yeah, we’ll do more fun stuff with friends and family. Next up may be renting a castle in Scotland…
Is there a maximum amount of money that you could have, beyond which it would become something like Ridiculous to have more than that? If so, what will you do when you reach that amount of money?
I too had the poster and still have the model of Lamborghini Countach on my bookshelf. Cannonball Run’s Lamborghini Countach was my ultimate dream car.
I did get to sit in a Countach once and it was uncomfortable and impossible to see out of. So now in real life I wouldn’t one.
I think this is a big part of what Ramit and Bill Perkins miss. Spending more money doesn’t bring more happiness and more joy. Where it does, sure, spend there. I suspect that there is a lot of joy in being able to take your family on this cruise. I also suspect that you and Mindy get a lot of personal satisfaction out of the scholarship fund for FI events you have set up. But, buying the bigger more expensive thing doesn’t bring you happiness or joy.
For example, I will probably still travel hack even once I am fully FI because its fun, and I get personal satisfaction out of getting a good deal for my points. I’ll probably still buy my raspberries at CostCo instead of Whole Foods cause I like going to CostCo. Its not about the money.
Its been interesting watching you slowly realize that contentment is really where its at, and that more spending isn’t the answer you were looking for. Like you, I have a pretty great life. Extra money that allows me to be more generous with friends or family is great, but beyond that, there’s not a lot that I am looking to change.
I’m living my “rich life” already.
What a wonderful post, and I couldn’t agree more. I retired back in February after a 30+ year career in insurance. My coworkers were all very jealous and wondering how I retired so early (but candidly I felt it was kind of late compared to many of those in the FI community).
Regardless, the thing that has surprised me the most about retirement is how little I am spending. I have always been a frugal person and I’m definitely spending money on things I want and the life I envisioned, but it’s substantially less than I thought it would be. I think the reason for this boils down to one word: Gratitude. When you realize all the blessings you already have in your life, and realize that more stuff rarely leads to more happiness, you tend to be content and not continue to strive for bigger and better.
It was a great realization.
Yeah, gratitude is REALLY important. It’s so easy to get used to wherever we are in life and then it just becomes normal. I try to take walks every day and notice something beautiful.
This morning when walking around, I noticed these huge butterflies. I think they’re swallowtails. So cool.
I’d be curious to learn about any gratitude practices you have!
Every time I see that car I think of the Wolf of Wallstreet opening monologue…
I made $49 million, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week.”