Hi there, Mrs. 1500 here.
We are finally moved in! Well, we finally have all our things out of the storage locker and into our garage. Unpacking will commence this week, but with all our my stuff, it will take weeks to go through.
Last week, I asked if I should host a garage sale or just donate it all to the thrift store. Most of the responses I received were to just donate it. The reasons varied, Allie from Allie’s Everyday Adventures made a really good point. You only get the extra deductions on the donation if you itemize your taxes. We do this now, but this year may be the last year we have enough deductions to itemize.
Stephanie reminded me to make a detailed list in case of a tax audit. We make lists, but also take a lot of picture of the piles right before we donate, just in case.
CJ from The Great Jollyhoombah lives in a homeowner’s association that does not even allow garage sales! (Yet another perk of moving out of Douglas County is no more restrictive associations. Ours was pretty fair about things, but still, the list of you-can’t-do’s was really long.)
But The First Million is the Hardest put it so succinctly: “…having a garage sale is too much of a hassle.”
With all that is going on in the house, needing a new kitchen, bathroom, adding a master suite, changing the roofline, replacing all the windows, etc. hosting a garage sale is just too much hassle right now. Then, I met Kim, a new neighbor who is organizing a block garage sale in 3 weeks. Very tempting, but that is the weekend a very dear friend is coming to visit.
So I will just load up the Honda Element as I go. Once it is filled,I’ll drive it to the local thrift store, then come back and start over. It should take several loads to empty my stash.
Now to this week’s question: Do you approve of regifting? You know, Aunt Myrtle sends you a beautiful picture frame, but it just isn’t your style. Your friend Bettie has many frames in her house that look just like this, and she is getting married next week. Do you regift to Bettie, do you use it anyway on the off chance Aunt Myrtle stops by, or do you just donate it to the thrift store?
I approve wholeheartedly of regifting, and have regifted several times in my life. Most recently, I passed along a Victoria’s Secret gift card that I got from my in-laws to my sister, who does indeed shop there. I actually received two cards from them over the years, and used one $50 card to buy one bra. That goes against my frugal nature, so I regifted to my sister, and now shop at Target.
I have regifted numerous things in my life, and have no plans to stop. If I cannot use it, why have it sitting around? If I do not like it or do not want it, but know someone else who does, I save money on a gift, and the gift gets used.
***IMPORTANT NOTE*** Before regifting, open the box completely to make sure there isn’t anything incriminating inside. I read in Dear Abby once where a couple received a gift and tucked inside was a card to the person who gave the gift to them.
So, do you regift?
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I don’t see anything wrong with regifting, as long as the gift perfectly fits the person you are giving it to. You shouldn’t just give a regift just because you have it laying around.
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Michelle, you are absolutely right. I only regift when I know the recipient will use it and love it. Gift giving is difficult, and I understand why people give bad gifts – some people are just really hard to shop for. But when the recipient has specifically requested no gifts, that gives you an out.
I’ve used gifted gift cards to buy gifts for others especially when they’re to place I don’t frequent, which I don’t really see as re-gifting as much as I do just relying on the fungibility of money. After all, if someone gave you $100 and you deposited it into your account and later bought someone a gift worth $80 you wouldn’t consider that regifting, would you?
As for more traditional re-gifting or giving things we have around the house, when we have we’ve been pretty clear about to the recipient that they were getting something we didn’t want/couldn’t use. And it’s usually an add-on to a bigger gift or at a time when a real gift isn’t expected. But mostly we’ve got family and friends trained (FINALLY – it took years!) to not give us stuff we don’t want. We’d rather see money given to charity directly than take the indirect route from them through a merchant and us, before making its way to a charity thrift shop. They’re finally starting to get that. Which is great!
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OMG!!! How on earth did you train people to stop giving you things you don’t want/can’t use??? I have been trying for years to stop the gifts. I don’t want anything, I can’t use anything, and now I don’t even have the space for anything. I know you love me, you don’t need to give me something to prove that. STOP THE MADNESS!!!
Please, please, PLEASE tell me how you trained them to stop!
I would love to see an “ask the reader” feature on this 🙂 Advice would be welcome!
Mr. PoP can be rude and stubborn when he wants to be and will absolutely refuse to accept things he doesn’t want or find ridiculously cool. Combine that with the givers virtually never seeing items we don’t ask for around our house (they go to charity shops pretty immediately), and showering praise when we do get something we specifically ask for… and well, that’s about it.
My MIL has said it was a big learning curve since she’s the kind of person that LOVES buying little things for people to let them know she was thinking of them. But now she knows if it’s not consumable (we’re okay with un-requested dessert gifts!), it’s probably not going to go over well. Her giving has changed to chocolates or other random consumables (she loves giving us soap she makes!) that we accept more readily.
Not sure how this would work with kids… but luckily we don’t have that problem yet and presents for Kitty PoP are minimal.
Mrs. Pop @ Planting Our Pennies recently posted…Reader Question: 100 Boxes. How Many Would You Open?
Mr. 1500’s mom is a gift-giver, too. Once the kids come, watch out. That is a big source of clutter, the sheer amount of stuff the kids have/get. They are the only grandchildren on Mr. 1500’s side.
I kind of love that Mr. PoP can be rude when he gets something he doesn’t want!
You could have sold that giftcard for cash at plasticjungle.com that’s what I do when I receive a giftcard I don’t want.
I have never used plasticjungle.com. I will have to check them out. Thanks for the tip!
Good luck with the unpacking! I’m helping my parents pack for their move now, and it’s exhausting. There just seems to be an never-ending amount of things to sort through. I feel bad that I won’t be there when they have to unpack everything…
I am a fan of re-gifting, but I don’t think I’ve ever had to do it. Thankfully, my family usually gives me money, and if they feel like they need to give me something else it’s normally clothing, which can be returned if it doesn’t fit. I’m also lucky that my family members have good taste so this doesn’t happen often!
On the other side, I have received several items that were given as gifts over the past few months for my apartment, and I appreciate everyone donating their unused things to me, plus it’s not going to waste anymore.
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“…I’m also lucky that my family members have good taste so this doesn’t happen often!” Sadly, I am not blessed with family members who have good taste. I remember a particularly bad Christmas present my mother gave my sister, who is a teacher. My sister is very hip and cool, very stylish and also very thin. My mother bought her a sweater that could have won any Ugly-Christmas-Sweater contest, and paired it with gold-colored, elastic-waist pants. My sister was speechless. It was so ugly, I thought it was a joke.
Oh, I’m definitely in favor of regifting. But, more often than not, we just end up making a donation run to clear out the clutter.
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Jake,
When I think of regifting, I am thinking of brand-new things that you receive, but will never ever use. Like a Victoria’s Secret gift card when they sell almost nothing in your size. Or a very nice vase that just isn’t you. Or a sweater with the tags still on, but you will never wear.
I think it you know someone who can use it, and it is still new, never used or worn, you can give it to someone else. I also don’t feel a need to let them know someone gave it to me, first.
Just do it so it’s useful to the recipient… my sister gives me things all the time for birthdays and the occasional Christmas I’m visiting her and I can always tell when she’s re-gifting something she got that she didn’t like. I love getting free stuff, don’t get me wrong, but when your birthday present consists of mix-matched items that I never said I wanted, (really, ballerina salad tongs? And I never did ballet or mentioned I liked it!), I’d rather just receive a hand made card with a hand drawn/painted picture. When the re-gifting is obvious, it’s not nice for the recipient. I understand not having money for a gift, but in that case, a homemade card is much more appreciated!
Tara, I absolutely agree. Regifting, just for the sake of giving SOMETHING to someone you know is no better than when you got the gift in the first place. A gift should be something the recipient can use or wants to own. A regift should simply be taking something you received brand new, not using it, and rewrapping and giving to someone who can use it.
I have zero problems with re-gifting (neither does my mother – we both re-use gift bags all the time – even to each other multiple times). It depends on the item and the person – I try to not give gifts that I think might be re-gifted. At the same time though, I’m more likely to make a trip to the thrift store to donate it just because I don’t want the item sitting in my house adding to the clutter.
Definitely agree on garage sales though – we held one with all of Daughter Person’s clothes/toys/etc from her first year, and we actually get more money back on the tax deduction than we do from the garage sale, so why bother? (And with our mortgage, we’re still many years away from not itemizing…)
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I love that you reuse gift bags – I do too. Wrapping paper is usually shredded, but those bags are good for several givings.
Re-gifting seems to be a common sense act. It’s an eco-friendly and polite way of saying “the person who gave this to me, think that they knew me better than myself, predicted incorrectly that I like or need this.” Of course, we do not say this out loud, but to ourselves. And the alternatives totally suck. Keep the unwanted item, wastefully trash it, go to the trouble of selling it. The only thing I prefer is to simply give it away to someone, but not as a gift. HAHAHAHA!! The card inside the gift box must have been itchy, scratchy and very funny;)
Good luck with the unpacking 1500s!!! And thanks so much for mentioning our blog in the post!
cj recently posted…The Lean Clean
I have done plenty of giving away of things, but not as gifts. Getting ready to do a whole big bunch of that in the next few weeks, as we unpack our, ok MY, way-too-many belongings. My (very much younger) sister-in-law is moving about 40 minutes away, her first job, first real apartment, etc and will be receiving lots of stuff from us. Bed, furniture, dishes, etc.
Thanks for reply, Mrs. 1500! And good luck to the Sis-in-law in all her shiny new endeavors!
cj recently posted…The Lean Clean
I love regifting! Especially when you know someone else will enjoy something far more than you will.
Check that out, two CJ’s in a row! I do only approve of regifting when you know the recipient will use/love it.
I guess to each his/her own. I don’t regift but don’t see nothing wrong if others choose to do it. I guess its more of the thought where you hope someone was thinking of you when they bought the gift. I would rather give it to goodwill then another family member or friend. I had a friend who regifted and the person who gave it to him spotted it. It wasn’t pleasant. I just wish I could get people to give me things I actually wanted/needed. If not hit me up with a gift card or cash.
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Oh yeah, I forgot to add the cardinal rule of regifting – you cannot give it to someone who also knows the original giver.
I think re-gifting is good. I regift. I sometimes get gifts that I don’t want and know other friends would have better use of it. So, I re-gift it.
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I love the idea of regifting, and your sister must be very happy! We have pretty much trained everyone not to get us gifts. It’s easier because we live in Texas and most of our family is in NY. They know we’re decluttering, so they don’t buy us stuff. We don’t buy them stuff. It’s actually emotionally painful to get rid of some gifts even when you’re not using them. I have kept a few I just couldn’t part with or I knew meant something to the giver. It’s better than hurting someone’s feelings.
I think that gift cards are the perfect gift. We rarely go to the movies (like once every other year?), so we give away those gift cards, but most of the rest we use and really appreciate.
Tammy R recently posted…The Lean Clean
How do you people train others to not give gifts? We have been in the process of decluttering/moving for the past 3 years, and have told people point blank not to give us gifts. Still, we receive things.
I don’t see a problem with regifting, but it is definitely a social crime and you must treat it accordingly. Make sure you remove any trace of its gift past. Regift across social circles, if you get something from out of town family it can go to a work friend. Finally, don’t regift something that the gifter will constantly be asking about.
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I should have consulted you before I wrote this post! Yes yes yes! These are all true. Good points.
My mother hand-knitted a sweater for Mr. 1500. She didn’t tell me she was doing this, and the results are extremely feminine. Mr. 1500 has never worn it, but we must keep it because she put at least 100 hours into this thing. I feel really bad, because the knitting stitches are beautiful and there is a lot of love in it, but he puts it on and looks like a girl – beard and all.
Thanks for the mention! I don’t see a problem with re-gifting as long as it’s done in a stealthy way, ie. not with gift tags or anything to identify that it’s regifted. But at the same time, I rarely regift just because by the time I’m ready to part with something, it’s usually completely worn out!
I think it’s acceptable as long as you’re sure they will never find out. I would personally rather someone out there enjoy my gift, even if secondhand.
There are gifts that you receive that you know, no one will ever want this, ever. Hello thrift store. Perhaps an ironic gift for a hipster?
I think re-gifting is perfectly A-OK as long as the gift is a much better fit for the other person…I make it a rule to not buy gifts for anyone except my immediate family members (there’s 6 of us) so I never get the chance to re-gift because I’m always afraid someone will find out lol
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I have no problem regifting, especially with presents my daughters get for their birthdays and other holidays.
We really don’t want them to get spoiled, so for my daughter’s recent 5th birthday where she received 20+ presents from friends and family, we wound up putting aside half of them for either later use or regifting purposes.
She just simply doesn’t need 5 different ‘decorate with beads’ sets!
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