Rut: An uninspired, possibly unhealthy routine or pattern of behavior that one continues because change is difficult.
The best time to start working on your dreams is right now.
The thing about ruts is that often you don’t realize that you’re in one. The changes that lead you there are gradual and subtle, so they go unnoticed. A slow descent. It took me at least a year to realize that I was in one. It all started last weekend.
Too much beer, not enough sleep
Last week, Mrs. 1500 and I went to the FinCon conference (big meetup for money media types) and I came away disappointed in myself. This was my 3rd year going, but it was the least beneficial. The conference itself had nothing to do with it; it was better than ever. The blame is all on me; I had too much beer and too little sleep.
Hey look, more free beer!!!
When I’m tired, my brain doesn’t work at anywhere near full capacity. Awkward social situations become even more awkward and my brain doesn’t record information like it’s supposed to. I was not at the top of my game because my priorities weren’t in the right place.
Mrs. 1500 tells it like it is
On the drive back from the conference, Mrs. 1500 and I were making plans for the rest of the year. At some point in the conversation, she said to me:
You just haven’t seemed happy this whole year.
I thought about that for the rest of the day and realized that she was right. I haven’t been in a good place:
- I’ve been worrying too much about a job that I no longer need.
- I’ve been racing to finish a home remodel when we have no plans to move until our youngest child graduates from high-school. She’s in kindergarten now.
- When I’m spending time with my children, I find my mind wandering (How did $AAPL do today?).
- One of the great loves of my life is reading and I’ve only gotten through one book this year, a reread of Harry Potter, book 7. Pathetic.
- I’ve watched my gut get ever bigger from lack of exercise.
Priorities. It’s all about not making time for what matters to me most. I haven’t been living as efficiently as I could be. My routine is chaotic. I always wake up around 5;30, but some nights, I’m not in bed until midnight. Not good.
I hope this post is an inflection point. I need to change things up a bit:
- Less time looking at stock quotes, more time looking at books
- Less time working on the house, more time with kids
- Less worry about work and other nonsense I can’t change, more time living
You may have noticed that I said nothing about writing. That’s because it’s a passion and I have no wish to back off. Writing is important to me, so I’ll make time for performance updates, dinosaurs and rants (tune in next week!). I feel like my best material is still ahead of me, not behind.
A sign if there ever was one
Often, the idea for a post will jump into my mind at unexpected moments. I carry around a notebook to capture these ideas. Here is some of the chicken-scratch that I wrote for this very post Monday night in bed:
After I got done jotting down my ideas, I got out of bed for a trip to the bathroom before turning the lights out. I looked down at the floor and this postcard, which I hadn’t seen in years, had fallen out of a book and was just laying there:
Picture time!
Now that I got all of that serious crap out of the way, I thought I’d share some photos with you from my recent road-trip. First, I went to Chicago for work. The office I was at was near Milennium Park, so I made it a point to visit the Chrome Egg every day on my walk in. It’s real name is Cloud Gate, but it’s affectionately known as The Bean. For fun, I put my sunglasses over the phone lens for some of the pictures. Note the difference in the second and third pictures below:
After Chicago, I headed to Knoxville for whitewater rafting and hiking in Smoky Mountain National Park with old friends.
I picked up Mrs. 1500 from the airport and we went on to Charlotte for the conference. I had never been to Charlotte before, but found it to be a wonderful city:
The FinCon conference was loads of fun:
- I finally got to meet the Frugalwoods. The beard is just as epic in person.
- Mrs. 1500 and I were interviewed by the Mad Fientist for his excellent podcast. It was a load of fun and you’ll be able to hear it next week:
- I didn’t win the award, but it was cool to see 1500 Days up there on the screen:
Half the Battle
I feel a lot better about life already. Recognizing and acknowledging the rut is half the battle. Taking action is the other half and I’ve already started. I narrowed my home projects down to 3 for the rest of the year (children’s playhouse, fixing a grading issue and finishing up my railing-bookcase). After work today, I biked over to the gym and worked out. It has been months since the last workout and it felt good.
Now is the Time
Life is too short to waste time on stupid activities and bad people. A really good filter will take you a long way in life. Focus on the important and leave the rest behind.
The best time to start working on your dreams is right now.
(Mrs. 1500 comment: I have been encouraging him to slow down for ages. He acts like this whole thing is all his idea… ‘Hey, why am I pushing myself? I could just take it easy.’ It’s like deja vu. Didn’t I just say those words to you a few days ago?!?
Please encourage him to quit his job, slow himself down, and listen to Mrs. 1500 more.)
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Well said. Recognising when you’re in a funk is so important in letting you take a deep breath and then taking a step back.
I’m guilty of exactly the same, planning to do too much at once and in the end I either never get round to it at all or end up doing such a rubbish job I may as well not have bothered. My way of dealing is to just try and break things up into small realistic goals that are easy to achieve. You get that regular “job well done” feeling which is a great way to stay motivated.
It sounds like you’ve already planned out what you need to do so best of luck I’m sure you can slam dunk the funk!
Three days and counting. So far, so good…
What Mrs 1500 said. In upper case. And bold.
I’m challenging myself over similar issues so I really can empathise. You’re lucky you have a partner who’ll keep you on track. Those of us without partners need to rely on our cats. Cats are notoriously bad at being helpful. Great at being soft and cuddly but seriously bad at pretty much everything else. 🙂
diane @smartmoneysimplelife recently posted…3 Tips For Keeping The Wolf (Financial Disaster) From Your Door
Mrs. 1500 may be the only wife in the world who tells her husband to quit his job with great force in her voice…
You should totally quit your job already and it goes without saying you should listen to Mrs. 1500 more! The statement “the best time to start working on your dreams is right now” is exactly why I am encouraging Mr. Budgets to quit his job already too. We don’t have enough put away to retire on, but we have a good chunk and frankly the both of us don’t need to be working so much. Once he does leave his 9-5 job it will allow us to work more on our side businesses and not feel so burnt out.
I was glad to see your blog up on the screen as a nominee for best FI blog at FinCon.
Mrs. Budgets @MrandMrsBudgets recently posted…7 Steps To Get Your Finances From Good To GREAT!
Mrs. 1500 is very bossy. Most of the time, I do listen to her (easier than suffering the repercussions). Soon…
Meeting you both in person at FinCon I know Mrs.1500 will now hold you to this and that’s a great thing. Just think of all the reading and time you can spend with the kids once that 9-5 or 8-6 is gone. Can’t wait to read the “I quit my job” post.
Brian @DebtDiscipline recently posted…Our year of living Debt Free
Ha! Funny how my last post is written, but I haven’t even thought about the “I quit my job” post yet…
Go at least part time, if possible.
You can test how it feels to have more free time and less money coming in.
And do not forget – you are a MILLIONAIRE!!!!
That is the plan, part time that is.
I’ve never felt like a millionaire. Maybe that is part of the issue?
Way to go 1500s. I came to the same realization, but am having a hard time taking that step back. You guys are in a great place though….especially with your flexible and marketable skills. You can work when you need, and focus on what’s important when you don’t. Wish you guys all the best and I’ll see you in the spring!
-Bryan
Income Surfer recently posted…Why we Hedge (or Diversify) Our Portfolio With Commodities
Right on IS!
I am so looking forward to seeing you, Buffett and Munger in person!
I’ve come to a similar realization lately… when I realized that the word I would use to describe myself the last month is ‘weary’. Now, that is just sad for someone who isn’t quite yet 40. I’m working on a game plan…
Mrs SSC recently posted…Are soft skills worth highlighting?
Right on SSC! Let’s do it together!
I’m right there with you. My job has me so tired that all I want to do is sleep. But, like you I’m trying to make some changes such as reading more and spending less time worrying about a clean apartment. Let us know what you start reading, I’m always looking for recommendations!
First, I need to finish Charlie Munger’s Almanack. It is deep, but may be the most important thing I’ve read about making money.
It’s amazing how busy we let and make ourselves get when there’s honestly no need for it. Like you realized there’s no rush on the remodel, y’all still have plenty of years to get it finished. It’s pretty inspiring what just a couple weeks of backing off on the throttle can do. My wife and I just “got away” from it all back in August after we lost our son and it helped so much to recharge our batteries after an absolutely crazy year. Plus even if you don’t get as much accomplished my guess is the quality of work and your life improve greatly without having to rush on to the next thing.
JC recently posted…Changes to my portfolio over the last couple months
Shit, I’m so sorry about your son. I have two children and I don’t have to tell you what my biggest fear in life is. That puts my “troubles” in perspective like nothing else can. I’ll just stop typing now.
I’ve only been at my job about 10 months. I actually have no problem with. I few weeks ago I realized that I was starting to get comfortable. After attending Fincon I know that comfort isn’t the end game. For me, financial freedom is. Every ounce of downtown that I have will be used to help me get there.
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Yeah, comfort is scary! Challenge yourself always. I think our greatest growth happens out of the comfort zone.
I think we’ve been having similar years. Works is picking up dramatically, to the point where a lot of other stuff is slipping. Most days, I only have enough energy to plop down in front of the TV and stream stuff until I go to bed. No bueno. That’s no kind of life.
Done by Forty recently posted…When a Sprinter Hits the Wall
Sad, right? Here’s to a calmer 2016 for both of us.
I don’t understand how so many FI bloggers end up with OMY syndrome. If you don’t need your job, quit!
If you need the external motivation, everyone reading would love a great ‘last day’ story. I really enjoyed reading LivingAFI’s arc. He quit in April and the ramp up, quitting story, and detox posts are great.
I know, right? You’re completely correct. However, technically I still haven’t made my goal. But unexpectedly, the wife has a job that covers everything and more, so I could totally leave.
I’m almost ready. The emotional part is the hardest. I’m 41 and have worked since 14. I know it will be good, I just have to step through the door…
I retired this year, but getting emotionally ready to reject my income was tough. I found MMM, LivingAFI, and you at the right time to help me get my brain and psyche wrapped around this and actually pull the trigger.
I haven’t looked back with regret since. I knew it was the right decision when the market started wobbling and I did not have one doubt, even though I currently have no income.
It is within your reach, you just need to grab it!
G-dog-
I need to hire you to kick my ass over the edge! It’s always great to hear encouraging words from others who have already crossed the threshold.
Mr. 1500,
Too much beer and not enough sleep was a theme for me too. Can’t figure out why I didn’t sleep well there. Great meeting you in person. Being my first FinCon, I felt energized afterwards. Hoping to turn that into increased productivity going forward. Working smarter, not harder.
-RBD
Retire Before Dad recently posted…Well I’m Beginning To See The Light
RBD, it was great meeting you too. Actually, I wanted to chat more since it seems like we’re at similar places in life as far as age and family. I hope you make it to San Diego.
We all get in ruts and sometimes it’s difficult to see it (despite helpful spouses telling us what’s going on!). I’m beginning to think that I need to put “check your priorities” on my calendar each week just in case I don’t have a postcard that conveniently drops at my feet. Either that or hire Grant Baldwin to deliver that FinCon closing to me on a regular basis. Sorry I didn’t get to meet you there, but hopefully next time.
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Poop, I hope you go to San Diego. If so, let’s chat there.
We had to leave early so missed Grant. I’ll make it a point to watch once the videos are posted.
Quit your damn job that you don’t need! If Mrs. 1500 saying it doesn’t work, I’m sure an internet stranger saying it will! 🙂
Fervent Finance recently posted…The Golden Handcuffs
Ha ha, message taken!
Just slow down, would you be going this fast if you knew it was a school zone? Have some fun my good man.
Even Steven recently posted…FinCon15 Was Good, Great, Grand, Wonderful
I know, I know…
You had better do as the Mrs says mate – you know that it’s just easier that way, and she’s right of course.
Well done on getting your blog up there with those other names – you know you’re running a successful site when you’re grouped with such illustrious blogs like that!
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Thanks IA for the vote of confidence! And the Mrs. is very bossy, so sometimes her message is, *ahem* lost on defiant ears?! Did I just say that?!?
Sounds like you are not very alone in your feelings and struggles. I could echo many similar ones myself, which is in part why I am up at midnight pondering my path and steps to take on it. I was trying to come up with something more profound to say, but it was sounding hollow and/or preachy. Instead i will just say that sounds like you are blessed to have someone who knows you and cares about you enough to challenge you on your thoughts and actions.
Proverbs 27:5-6 Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.
Dear Mr. 1500, I think you’re still off course on the whole happiness thing. The key is not freedom or not, it’s Happy Wife, Happy Life. Do what she says. Also, don’t invent duct tape bras.
Recognizing your are in a rut is half the battle. The other half is listening to you wife.
Thias @It Pays Dividends recently posted…Weekly Dividend Payout #10 – Index Funds Are Nothing Special
Quit your job, slow yourself down, and listen to Mrs. 1500 more! 🙂 We have had a bit of a funk around here, too, which is weird since we’ve been making pretty awesome progress toward FI. We’re in this weird place where it’s almost like the more progress we make, the more depressed we are about still having to work. Especially when work is relentless and extra stressful. We’re so close to being able to pull the trigger, but not quite there yet, and it makes work extra demoralizing. We know from the outside, anyone could reasonably say to us, “You guys are close, you’re making fast progress, and your quit date will be here before you know it.” But we can’t control our feelings, and the feelings have us in a funk. Oh well, this too shall pass!
Our Next Life recently posted…When Did We Become Grown-Ups? // Embracing Our Adultness
Only 284 more days for me. It’s not too hard to go just a bit longer for extra insurance. Pick up another year of 401K contributions.
Never wish you would stay another year, once you are out, odds are, it’s for good.
No Nonsense Landlord recently posted…How to Avoid Bad Tenants
Mr. 1500-life is short. I quit my job and I had a lot fewer resources than you do. Were things a little rough? Yes! Is my life 110% better? Yes! My: anxiety, migraines, weight gain, stress, and depression are all gone. That’s pretty awesome. You will find another way to challenge yourself to make money once you free yourself from your job that is taking time away from: you, your family, your health, and wellness. You’re young and industrious. Let.the.job.gooooo!
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That is awesome Michelle. I really do need to talk to you more. Let’s meet either in Denver or up at our place. There is a meetup in Boulder on Thursday, but only the Mrs. will be in attendance…
I’ll be there on Thursday. Did Mindy tell you about the Colorado FinCon group? She joined LOL!
Michelle recently posted…Girl Gone Frugal Episode 13-Robert from Leave Your Daily Hell
It’s easy for goal-oriented people to get into ruts. I find myself having to self-evaluate all of the time. It’s so important to be able to identify where you aren’t living up to your ideals and how to make positive changes. Nice work.
Dane Hinson recently posted…Top 5 Financial Successes in my 20’s
Thanks Dane!
Your comment about your mind wandering when spending time with your kids resonated with me.
When our kids were growing up, I really tried to spend distraction-free time with them. I went to all their school events, practices, etc.
Now they are in college. I am so glad I put a big importance on that because we bonded and I miss them every day. We talk every few days via the phone, but it’s not the same as having them right here to clown around with.
Cherish that time with them, it will fly by!
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Wise words Steve. I’d like to yell them at the parents at the playground whose noses stay buried in their smartphones…