Hi there, Mrs. 1500 today, back from a looooooong hiatus.
Mr. 1500 note: It’s been like a million years since the Mrs. has written anything here! I’ve felt a lot of pressure steering this ship on my own, but I know you’ve been busy, wife.
Mrs. 1500 note: Well, one of us has to work…Anyway, back to MY post.
Mr. 1500 note: Your post? Wait, isn’t this MY blog? Why don’t you grab YOUR pillow and go sleep on YOUR couch tonight!!
I got the dreaded Group Text from my brother this weekend.
Are we doing gifts this year?
I didn’t respond right away. I don’t want to do gifts. I don’t want to buy something for someone, and I don’t want anyone buying me something, either.
Mr. 1500 note: I pretty much feel the same way. Except for the new Tesla Roadster. Wife, if you’d like to buy me one, I’ll take it. Same goes for you readers. And if you buy me one, I’ll never ask you for anything else again.
Mrs. 1500 note: You already get to drive my NSX once a month…
Mr. 1500 note: Wait, your NSX? No. YOUR couch is waiting for you.
I don’t want the Obligatory Gift. The thing that someone grabs because they have to buy you something, anything, as long as it is wrapped up to you from them.
Mr. 1500 note: You don’t have to wrap up the Tesla Roadster. That would take a lot of wrapping paper which is wasteful.
Mrs. 1500 note: I’m not buying you this.
Someone bought me a Mickey Mouse blanket one year “because you’re into Disney.” (I’m not.)
My neighbor texted me later that day, asking me how I get people to not buy me things. I responded that I haven’t figured it out yet.
I had a great talk with my sister the day after the text. She gave me some good things to think about that I have forgotten along my Journey to Less Stuff.
Some people actually like to give gifts.
I have always just ended up feeling obligated, which leads me to buy really crappy gifts like that one year I bought my mom a Chia Pet. Really. But some people give really thoughtful gifts, and look forward to giving them. My saying I don’t want to exchange gifts takes away the joy that others in my family may get from giving them. (Mr. 1500 note: Wait, I like Chia Pets. Not as much as a Tesla Roadster, but I always wanted one.)
Some people look forward to receiving gifts.
I always dread opening gifts, maybe because so many times I have been the recipient of an obvious Obligation Gift. Plus, I feel guilty if I toss it, donate it, or return it so I keep it even if I can’t use it which adds to the clutter.
It doesn’t have to be something.
(Calling you out, sis!) My sister said, “And you know, you don’t have to give them a thing, you can give them something else.” HAHA!
But she’s right. It doesn’t have to be a thing. Some friends of ours will be in town on December 26, and I asked my sister if she’d be upset if we ducked out of the family thing for a few hours. She said, “No, that’s great. I love spending time with your kids. Hey, that can be my present to you – having a trusted person babysitting your kids.”
I actually like giving things to people – when I know they’ll like it.
One sister-in-law loves Octopi. There is a really cool Octopus Mosaic on the Boardwalk in Pacific Beach. We took pictures of it and gave it to her one year. She loved it and I knew she would because it’s super cool artwork. I think the only gift that would have been cooler would have been a real octopus or the actual mosaic.
Mr. 1500 note: I’ll like the Tesla, even more than my sister would like an octopus.
Mrs. 1500 note: OMG, do NOT buy him a Tesla.
Mr. 1500 note: Couch! Couch!! COUCH!!!
My youngest daughter has discovered the Draw So Cute YouTube Channel. She can’t get enough of these adorable drawings, and her illustration style has vastly improved in the few short weeks she’s been watching and drawing along.
Thanksgiving Day, Target had 36 Sharpie Markers on sale for $15, and OfficeMax sold 3-ream boxes of paper for $.01 each. The littlest 1500 is going to be over the moon using her own paper and her very own Sharpie set to draw for hours.
I really like to give gifts to people when I know it’s something they’ll enjoy.
It’s a work in progress.
I’m really trying to have a more positive attitude this year. I still don’t want anything – I’ve got more boxes in the garage to go through and donate much of the contents.
Mr. 1500 note: Truth. And we’ll need that extra space for that Tesla Roadster. Get to it!
Mrs. 1500 note: Seriously. Do not encourage him. Most of those boxes in the garage are his.
I’ve asked for donations in my name to various charities, to get around the “I don’t want anything” roadblock.
So please, dear readers. Share your words of wisdom on how to handle this situation – either for or against gift-giving.
How do you graciously handle receiving gifts when you really just don’t want anything?
I am trying to figure it out too! I don’t want or need much, and some of the things I might need/want a new one of requires trying on. (I got a gift card at work, and got new sneakers.) My sister has something for me, and is good with gifts.
I’m also at a loss for what to get for my family members. Because they don’t need more clothes, both of my parents have been paring down throughout the year.
I went to local distilleries and got things for friends. I figure if they want to keep the bottle, that’s fine, otherwise it’s a consumable gift.
We are doing secret Santa at work with a $20 limit. I don’t need a $20 tschotky. *sigh*
I’ve suggested my family tell me what charities they support if we want to do that, but no one has told me.
Good luck on figuring out what to gift to family.
“I’m also at a loss for what to get for my family members.”
This is my issue too. We all have everything we need. It just feels so forced. The most ridiculous manifestation of it all is when everyone asks for gift cards. Instead, why don’t we all just keep the $50 and save ourselves a trip to the store.
I’ve tried the “experience” route: “Let’s just have a nice weekend together., so spend the money on plane tickets to see us!” They do that, but bring gifts with them.
Sigh…
The tricky thing with the experience route is my brother wants very little to do with us, even though I know a day outing would thrill my mom.
I saw other replies about food gifts. I gave a lot of people olive oil & Balsamic pairs last year. Some people have decreased their partaking of alcohol for various reasons this year. I also have family members watching their weight etc so chocolate isn’t the perfect gift either. While there is a neat truffle shop in my town, there’s a family chocolate shop (owned by my dad’s cousin in NY) I know some prefer. My favorite is even another type.
Heifer as a charity is tricky with vegetarians and vegans (who don’t use honey). That’s why I asked them to tell me. I’d rather give to their preferred charity vs mine or assuming one for them.
I tend to do the ‘saw this and thought of you but am giving it to you at Christmas’ thing for some people. I like that sort of gift giving.
I’m sure we’ll figure something out. *sigh*
Our family doesn’t do individual gifts. Instead, we do a grab bag on Christmas eve. Every one buys a gift $25 or under and we make a huge game out of it, with stealing, etc. One year, our cousins returned from a vacation with a $10,000 12 x 14 inch painting. Crazy, I know. It had a very common theme — a hill with pine trees. Well, another cousin bought a $25 knock-off of the painting for the grab bag. It was too funny!.
You can also agree to make a group donation to a worthy cause, with everyone kicking in X dollars, and taking turns each year on who picks the cause. Then if someone brings you a gift you can flat out refuse it.
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How did you decide on the grab bag idea? Are there many children? Do the kids get gifts while the adults participate in the grab bag?
Our family used to be a bit ridiculous with the gift giving. Especially once my siblings and I got real jobs. We felt obligated to get something better each year to match each other’s level of giving. Everyone ended up with a lot of extra sweaters…
Finnaly one year we decided everyone was spending too much and ending up with a lot of stuff to donate/return. We came together and made a rule that any gifts need to be homemade. Our gifts went from being $100 gift certificates to stuff like pickled peppers from our garden.
Now generally all of our family and friends know that we only exchange homemade gifts. With the exception of consumables like a nice six pack of beer that everyone can share 🙂
That’s a great idea Mr. CK I love the homemade only rule!
Mr. Tako recently posted…Holidays And Relatives
I like the “6-pack to share” idea…
Always a struggle… My family has always been heavy on gifts as well. It took me YEARS to convince my Mom to just give me money. She has to give me something – I tried the “nothing” answer for a long time and still ended up with neckties and shirts every year, only to give them to charity.
At least if she gives me money I can put it in VTSAX, make it multiply, then give some back. To either her or to charities of my choice.
As far as my buddy friends, we just give bourbon to each other 🙂
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Can I be a “buddy friend”?
My mom for a few years has hidden cash in other gifts. Thought this would be a box of earrings? Nope, money. Jar of m&m’s, open the lid for a snack and there was a pipe cleaner sticking out, tied to money. Mini picture frame ornament on the tree, wait that’s George and Abe!
Great post and a number of good points. As you mentioned, the holidays (whether year-end or birthdays, anniversaries, etc.) can become quite stressful.
To alleviate some of that stress, my family began purchasing a single gift for one person (“Secret Santa”) for Christmas two years ago. This will be the third year in a row we’re doing it, but it’s been such a relief not only financially but emotionally. It felt like blasphemy to even bring up the idea with my parents, but I’m glad we did. For birthdays, my sister and I also now donate a fixed amount toward our respective favorite charities.
It just makes things easier – and more meaningful.
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Are there kids in your family, or just adults right now? This worked out a bit when we didn’t have the kids…
My mother is one of those people who likes to go out and buy gifts for others. She usually gets you stuff that she likes but you would never choose for yourself in a million years. Last year I told her I didn’t want anything and I was accused of ruining Christmas.
As a compromise I told her that while I couldn’t prevent her from getting me stuff for Christmas, what I ultimately decided to do with said stuff was my decision. In other words, there would be no guilt on my part if things I received ended up at the thrift store or worse. This approach seems to be working.
“Ruining Christmas” is actually a catchphrase of mine, after Mr. 1500’s dad accused his sister of doing just that a few years ago. (Completely unrelated, but it always makes me laugh when someone says “ruining Christmas”.
Ugh the dreaded gift-giving!
We stopped exchanging gifts this year with the adults on my side of the family. We’re all doing well financially and so we just buy something if we want it. It’s a chore to find a gift.
Instead we’ll donate to a charity/cause that the ‘recipient’ cares about, on their behalf. Much better use of money than just buying more stuff…
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So jealous… Although there are a few people in my family who have opposing political views, and it would be difficult to donate to an organization they choose…
We asked for a donation a few years ago, and chose Heifer International, an organization dedicated to ending hunger and poverty. I’m not sure of their politics, but ending hunger is a non-partisan task.
This is a toughie. I’m all for presentless Christmases, honestly. But everyone I talk to thinks that’s the saddest, most horrible thing they’ve ever heard of. But uh … isn’t the point of Christmas being with family and making memories? Why do we have to do presents for it to be Christmas? Seems like they’re the ones who’ve lost sight of what it’s about, but whateverrrrr.
Mrs. Picky Pincher recently posted…What A Frugal Weekend! November 26
I concur.
Fortunately, my family is not big on gift giving. We’re Chinese and my parents and often give red envelopes with money. Cash gifts are not frowned upon which is awesome ‘cuz cash gifts are fine by me. Even better than gift cards which I sometimes find hard to use. I have one sitting unused for over a year…unless it’s an Amazon gift card or Target…I won’t be happy! And my wife and I sometimes give each other token gifts but she told me this year to just skip that as well! Love it =) If I find something practical then maybe that changes.
I also do not like gift cards. I always forget to use them – or even take them with me. But to say I don’t want a gift card makes me feel like I’m taking away all options.
Well, my thoughts on the subject are to be as explicit as possible about exactly what you want. If you don’t want a physical “thing” just say so:
“I don’t want anything physical, but I would love to go out to dinner with you. That would make a great gift.”
or
“I’m trying to declutter. Instead of more clutter, how about some movie tickets so we can all catch a movie together”.
Something like that. Let people know you want experiences, not things.
We generally only do gifts to the kids in our family. For the adults it’s typically one small gift and often its homemade.
Mr. Tako recently posted…Holidays And Relatives
I like these ideas. My sister suggested a pedicure, or something that I would normally not buy myself. Maybe my real issue is just giving crappy gifts? I’m so bad at giving gifts.
I’m with Mr. Tako. I tell people what I want. Everyone who give me gifts know not to buy me “stuff.”
Nice food and beverage works as gifts for me. Mrs. RB40 also likes to buy nice chocolate for gifts.
I like this tactic. My list will have only one item: Tesla Roadster.
Mrs. RB40 can send me some nice chocolate…
I prefer Thanksgiving over Christmas. The difference? Gifts.
I cannot wrap my head around adults giving gifts to other adults. Sending each other lists. Specifying colors and exact items.
Same goes for birthday presents. In our family, every day is Thanksgiving, Christmas and your birthday all wrapped up nicely. Want something? Go buy it.
I am fine with gifts for kids. I get it. Once you hit 21, the gifts should end. I am not popular for my opinions. I even said if you have to get me something to make you feel better, make it edible or drinkable and under $10.
Instead, people do the opposite. Buy multiple, expensive, un-needed gifts.
It wrecks Christmas. The stress and extra money spent that people should not and do not need to spend. Arghh. Rosebud!
“I cannot wrap my head around adults giving gifts to other adults. Sending each other lists. Specifying colors and exact items.”
“I am fine with gifts for kids. I get it. Once you hit 21, the gifts should end. I am not popular for my opinions. I even said if you have to get me something to make you feel better, make it edible or drinkable and under $10.”
YES!!! Do you consult? What is your hourly rate for counseling adults? 🙂
OMG Wade. It’s like we’re the exact same person!
YES! I love Thanksgiving. It’s my favorite holiday! All-you-can-eat combined with no gifts!
Absolutely no comment whatsoever on adults who make lists. None.
I suggest to people (who won’t be deterred from buying something) that we like things we can eat and drink. Candy, wine, fancy food treats, etc. You can get rid of them by eating/drinking them, or you can take them to the office and put them by the coffee pot. You can also regift them (ha!). The key here is that you use them up and don’t have them lying around. No one expects to see them three years later ini pride of place hung on the living room wall, or put as a centerpiece on the holiday table or whatever.
This is brilliant. Plus, I work at an office now so I can bring them to share and get them out of my house. Unless it’s wine, beer, bourbon or chocolate…
No one buys us anything anymore, only they buy gifts for our kids. We’ve tried to steer people toward gifts that get used up (science kits or the like) so that it doesn’t add to the toy clutter around the house.
Unfortunately, we have tried to stop gift giving, but it would be rather sad for the kids to get nothing and therefore, we still have to buy for all kids (5) and adults (7) (because some adults don’t have kids and buy for our kids).
We’re on the end of the obligatory gift givers, but we don’t receive anything in the end (just kid stuff)… That makes me bummed just thinking it through, thanks Mrs. 1500! Though, I do enjoy seeing the kids (and nieces/nephews) open their presents 🙂
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This sounds exactly like my family, except more people. Not everyone has kids – in fact on Mr. 1500’s side, we’re the only ones who do. And yeah, you can’t just not buy them things.
I used to referee recess at the little 1500’s school, and after Christmas, heard the lists of things kids got for Christmas. iPads, iPods, TVs, game systems, etc, etc, etc. I felt a little bad for my kids to hear these lists of amazing things, but I’m still not buying them all that stuff.
Yeah, gifting is not easy. It could drain the brain. I choose not to gift, as I’m kind of lazy. When my kid was young, cash would work. Now we are all adults, just go out, have a nice meal, and have a good time together.
The young kids make it even more tough. It’s a lot more fun to buy for kids than adults.
If someone truly derives pleasure from giving gifts, like I do when I know for sure that it’s something the person will love and use, I’ve that I should get over myself enough to steer them towards something that I would appreciate rather than waving them off for my own personal preferences. Plus, I don’t want to have to sell it later.
The truth is, I always want something. Or need something. It’s not the typical gift type stuff, though, it;s almost always practical stuff but as is typical, I will not hesitate to put down stuff like pen refills, or stamps, batteries or charging cables. Minor maintenance things are super useful and I really appreciate not having to pick up another pack of batteries or whatever.
Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life recently posted…2017 Money Move: My first mortgage recast
HAHA. I love this.
This is what my sister and I do for our mother who insists her 40+ year old daughters provide her gift list. My sister has requested plastic storage/organization bins more than once and I ask for things like pantyhose and chap stick. Yeah, we’re a fun group. Luckily, our mother buys those things for us (but swears we suck the joy out of Christmas shopping-lol).
Who doesn’t love shopping for organizational bins? Plus bonus, you know for sure it’ll be used everyday!
Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life recently posted…Holiday gifts in 2017 and wish list
A couple of points.
1) Adults – we do the grab bag thing with a $25 limit. We allow stealing and it turns out to be alot of fun.
2) Kids – One year I asked my sister to answer a list of questions about her 2 boys. Favorite food, snack, drink, sport they played and so on 1o in all. I then purchased one thing of each, (Reeses cups for candy, box of Kraft Mac and cheese for food) I then bought a share or partial share of stock in each company that was on the list using Sharebulder.com and had all the dividends reinvested. I wrapped each item so the bag was really full and made stock certificates on my computer. They had fun opening them up and now many years later have a great stock portfolio.
I LOVE THIS IDEA!!!
The kids are familiar with the companies, and it’s a great way to introduce them to stocks!!!
Yes and you are giving them 10 things that they really love.
I usually initiate a text with something to the effect of “do you mind if we keep Christmas simple this year and just do gift for the kids?” Before I had kids I said, “Christmas can get pretty stressful. Do you mind if we keep things simple this year and do without gifts. I’m just excited to spend time with you.” And, since I live far from family I usually throw in something about not having a lot of room in my suitcase. I’ve also suggested that we DO something special together instead of buy something for each other and that also goes over well.
I’ve tried this approach. Also the reverse, “I don’t have room in my suitcase since I’m traveling so please don’t buy me anything.” I have had less success.
We do a white elephant gift exchange amongst the adults on both sides of our family. With my side of the family, each adult buys 1 themed gift under $20. Last year food was the theme and this year we had ‘the outdoors’.
Ellen’s side of the family are high rollers I guess so each adult brings a $30 gift. These also tend toward consumable items. For example, I just got two bottles of nicer wine than we’d buy for ourselves and some seasoned almonds so no complaints here! (We just celebrated Thanksgiving and an early Christmas together with her parents and brother’s family).
The group gift exchange has simplified things considerably while preserving a bit of the festive gift giving experience in a low-stress way.
I will make this suggestion, as it is a popular one among the frugal set. I’m not optimistic, though. I do really like the game aspect.
We were stuck in the gift giving carousel for years until we finally got everyone to agree to only giving to one relative via a Secret Santa ($60 max). We took turns being ‘Santa’ and arranging the gift giving pairs. Everyone had to offer up a list that would fit the $$ range (because some folks got really cranky if they didn’t like their gift). The whole thing got a bit silly for a while with people just asking for gift cards… unfortunately, we couldn’t convince folks to simply stop buying random stuff and enjoy each other.
Now we have chunks of the family not talking to each other (!!), so the whole thing is off (yeah!) but for not the best reasons (boo, hiss, family discord).
Now I’m down to gifts for only a couple of immediate relatives.
My personal preference is for only stockings filled with small treats and useful stuff like merino socks… I have fond memories of the little treasures (Sweedish fish! Boston Baked Beans! socks!) in my stocking as a child. Things that are small, useful, and generally consumable.
For coworkers & friends, I do modest treats. I like to take the time to write a thoughtful card about what I appreciate about the person from the past year and leave it at their desk with some good dark chocolate bars or a bottle of reasonable wine… nothing crazy and nothing that makes folks feel that they have to reciprocate. The consumables are almost more of a way to hide the fact that I wrote a nice note of gratitude, which I can be shy about.
You could ask for useful things that you know your local school or a family in need, needs… and just immediately divert the gifts there….
This whole thread is hard for me to read. One of my ‘love languages’ is giving gifts. I want the recipient to see the gift and that will let the know two things — that I know who they are and that I love them. I show that I know who they are because I’ve been listening to them and know what their hobbies are, what interests them, what they’d like, what they don’t like.
But I understand that not everyone finds it easy to show their love that way. STILL !! If someone enjoys getting presents, and you love that person, why wouldn’t you get them a present? And I’m still shocked that someone would insist that their MOTHER not give them a present !!! Geez! I suppose your family has bigger gifts that we do. But that seems like a terrible thing to do to a mother. OF COURSE there are things you have bought in the last year, even if you don’t like to acquire too many things. So just don’t buy anything for the last 3 months and then tell your mom you would like that.
Or ask your mom for a framed picture of herself — she won’t be here forever and you will adore that picture later on, even if it doesn’t seem like something you want now.
I don’t give money — that isn’t the point at all. I would rather not give gift cards, unless it will make the person laugh . But even for my grown kids, I can find things that make them happy. Thank goodness — or my Christmas would be a lot less joyful.
“I show that I know who they are because I’ve been listening to them and know what their hobbies are, what interests them, what they’d like, what they don’t like.”
It sounds like you’re a thoughtful giver and that’s a good thing. In our case, the whole thing has turned into a forced, uncomfortable exercise (basically a gift card exchange).
Maybe at a deeper level, I think the money is misappropriated too. My wife and I have no family within 800 miles. I’d much rather have them spend the money on a trip to visit us. Deep down, I think we’ve lost our way.
I told everyone last year that I did not want anything and I wasn’t buying gifts for anyone. I did ask that they open a RIRA to invest in their retirement. I also suggest if they want to spend money, buy themselves an experience that would be fun and share that experience.——-I ended up getting socks from my mom, at least I can use socks.——
reading your post, other than the interruptions -ahem, was like reading my life the last few years. I’m happy to say, I found the answer! My parents are getting squatty potties this year. Yup, for real. They each get one so there will be one in each bathroom of their house!
And then we are getting a few select friend who we may not normally exchange gifts with, but I know they will appreciate this, a dozen eggs. This is because a few months ago, I discovered the most amazing local farm fresh eggs that are well worth the $5 a dozen. yes, I pay $5 for a dozen eggs and while I struggle paying that much for a T-shirt, these eggs are seriously THAT good.
I am more excited about the squatty potties though – a small token toward good health!
OMG, Squatty Potties?!? I love that idea! Plus those commercials should win the internet!
In my country, not too heavy on gifts. At family occasions often eat, drink, talk together very happy. Sometimes just be so happy then you.
Dealing with gifts that you don’t want/need can be awwwwkwarddddd.
Normally when people ask me what I want I go for bottles of alcohol or cologne/fragrance (I can’t have enough of either).
Recently, when people ask me what I want I opt for experiences instead of things
“Take me to your favourite restaurant instead of getting me a gift”
“Take me to a bar I’ve not been to before to watch a game”
“No gift for me, take me to a local tourist attraction I may have overlooked!”
etc.
Best thing is you get to spend time with the person. Second best thing is you may discover somewhere new that you love.
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We tend to push experiences and pictures. So we’ll take the grand parents to a train show with the kids or provide a picture album from this year with the kids personalized to grand parents. I haven’t mastered 0 gifts but these at least give good memories.
i have been subtly letting everybody in the family know we’re minimizing our junk in the house. letting them know how the ebay and craigslist stuff is going. i try and let them know if they feel they “must” give try and make it something we can all eat or drink together.
one time i bought 3 “chico’s bail bonds” t-shirts for christmas (from the bad news bears). i kept one and 2 good friends got the other 2, which i gave enthusiastically.
You’d be surprised the # of people who don’t like the gift giving bs.
Conversation with my brother:
ME: I’m not getting you a gift, You work for a living and have everything you could possibly want. I do too. Lets not waste money on stupid.
HIM: Oh thank f***ing god. Do you even realize the # of people i have to buy crap for?
ME: Yes, i do. And that goes for the wives too. No presents.
HIM: Oh crap. I don’t know if mine will be ok with that.
ME: Tell her she’s not getting anything either.
HIM: That might work.
ME: Your niece is fair game, i can only control my wife so much.
HIM: Thats not fair! My wife is going to want to get you something in return.
ME: I assure you this is the cheapest possible scenario. Live with it. I’ll send you a 12 pack of something good if you can head this off.
HIM: Sold. You mean no presents right?
ME: 100% no presents, no gift cards, no nadda. You are dead to me.
HIM: I sorta like this.
ME: Me too.
We definitely have a similar problem in our family. Fortunately we managed to get everyone on board with a Secret Santa approach a few years back – so now we all just get one gift for one other person, rather than tons of gifts for everyone. The budget started out ridiculously high, but we got it down to $100 this year. I think that’s a good price point for close family as it is enough to get something pretty nice, but not too crazy. We’ll see how it goes…
Freedom40Plan recently posted…Sucking it Up a Little Longer on the Road to Financial Freedom
I told everyone last year that I did not want anything and I wasn’t buying gifts for anyone. I did ask that they open a RIRA to invest in their retirement. I also suggest if they want to spend money, buy themselves an experience that would be fun and share that experience.——-I ended up getting socks from my mom, at least I can use socks.——
This was a great post and good to see other people feel similar in the comments. I’m trying to push our family to stop with the gifts and start thinking of travel destinations we can go to together. We are trying to plan a road trip across the Midwest to see some theme parks and baseball games instead of gifts. I think as we get older we realize time important is more important. We also found that we just ended up trading gift cards with each other which seems kind of pointless.
It’s also interesting with my parents because we are now at a point where we really don’t need gifts, they recently retired, and although the money they give us every Christmas is great, I’d rather they spend that on themselves. So it’s a work in progress, but I think we are slowly evolving to more experience based spending.
Totally off topic, but I just realized that you’re the awesome person that sends the emails from Bigger Pockets. Small world. And I am embarrassed it took so long to figure out.
HAHA. Don’t be embarrassed. We did that on purpose. For the longest time, we were anonymous here. So many people have not yet figured that out. I was actually surprised when I was “discovered” the first time. Apparently, I have a distinctive voice…
That’s exactly how I figured it out, the podcast.
The BP Podcast or the Mad Fientist Podcast? (Or both?)
Both! I connected the dots on the BP podcast though.
Great post Mrs. 1500.
I’ve been struggling with similar thoughts around gift giving. Something my wife and I have been doing recently is giving Silver coins as presents to our friends and family members who are children. They might think the gift is silly today, but hopefully when they are older they have a nice treasure chest of silver. I don’t work for the company or anything, but we’ve had good experience buying from APMEX. Happy gift giving (or lack thereof) of everyone!
I cut the circle of guilt giving years ago. We gift consummables. Each time we go abroad for holidays, we bring some special treats from the local cuisine. This year the gift baskets included: coffee from Italy, fig marmelade from France, Sacher hot chocolate. Also a Napoleon statue that my Dad wanted for years, and a Japanese face cream. We have been collecting the little treasures in a basket to then wrap it for the holiday season. Added benefit is that their purchase price is distributed among the months. And I know that they won’t contribute to clutter. And I don’t feel obliged to buy them crap made in China that represents the place I have been to, like a magnet or beer mug.
What they gift me is even better: they always ask me what I want, and they chip in. We have a fairly new house so we always have something that we still need, last year we’re dining chairs (they bought 2, we got remaining 2), this year we got 2 custom window blinds. 2 years ago for birthday they paid to have someone to come and wash all of our windows (all 16 of them, thank you!!), and on one occasion, they took our curtains that we had from previous house to have hemmed to the right size.
Yeah, these gifts don’t look shiny under a tree in a box and wrapped in paper with a bow but I honestly couldn’t have imagined a better collection. For someone who like me does not need anything else!