Money will never change me!!
I admit to saying it too, but it isn’t the truth. Money has changed me, mostly for the better:
- No more nightmares: I have (had?) big-time money insecurity issues. I used to wake up from nightmares where I dreamt I was broke. This doesn’t happen anymore. Yippee!
- I’m more real: I used to hold back and say what I thought people wanted to hear. Now, I don’t care. I tell crude fart jokes around other adults and wear ridiculous t-shirts. I fully acknowledge that insecurity shouldn’t be solved by money, but hey, what can you do?
- I like to take long walks at sunset: Oh puke, this sounds like a line from a TV commercial for a dating website. Sorry ladies, I’m not on the market, at least not yet. One day, I may tell one fart joke too many and Mrs. 1500 will join a dating website. But really, I’ve started spending less time worrying about jobs and money and more time squeezing in family stuff. One tradition is evening walks. I took this picture on our walk last night:
- Lifestyle upgrade: I now drive around town in a swanky $100,000 Porsche Cayman GT4 while wearing a fur coat and boots made from crocodile skin. I light cigars with $100 bills. Here is a picture to prove at least part of this:
OK, I totally made that last one up. That is a GT4 sitting in my garage, but I’m carsitting for a friend. The only Porsche I own was made by Hot Wheels and the only crocodile footwear I have are the ugly-ass, plastic Crocs:
Unfortunately, the part about the fart jokes is totally true. I have even conditioned my children to laugh at all things fart related. We are getting a new garage door, so I let the girls draw on the current one:
I know you’re dying for an invite to my next BBQ right now!
***Mrs. 1500 frowns, looks down, shakes her head, unleashes a big sigh and gives thanks that she didn’t sign a prenuptial agreement.***
Enough about me; what about you? Has money changed you? If so, how? If not, how are you so well adjusted? Do you own a GT4 or Acura NSX? If so, may I borrow it some day?
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