I like my body pretty much the way it is. If I had to nitpick, I wish that I wasn’t so scrawny and it would be nice to have just a little cardio endurance, but I’m pretty healthy, so nothing to rightfully complain about.
My better half, Mrs. 1500, likes to decorate her body with piercings and tattoos. I knew this going into the deal (marriage) and was kinda indifferent. But now, I think of stuff like this in terms of money. So, when Mrs. 1500 says something like this:
I want another tattoo.
My first question is usually this:
Are you finally going to get some of
my awesomedinosaur art tattooed on you?
Just kidding. Mrs. 1500 will never get a Pooposaurus Rex tattoo. #Sad.
So, my first question is really this:
How much will it cost?
If you’re a good tattoo artist, you can earn loads of money. And when I say loads, I mean a couple hundred an hour. Oof. For frugal people, this is difficult to swallow.
At dinner tonight, the topic of tattoos came up again. I jokingly said this:
Let’s see if Amazon has a home tattoo kit!
I didn’t really expect Amazon to sell such a thing, I assumed you’d have to get a license or jump through some regulatory hoops.
Nope. None of that! Here you go:
For only $21.99, you too can be a tattoo artist! What could possibly go wrong? Just look at this pic from the listing:
Wow, I’ll have to practice a little to get that good, but this is why butts were invented!
And there is even online support:
Of course, there are some subtle warnings. but I’m a Man of Adventure and Mrs. 1500 is a Woman of Danger:
WMD (Weapon Of Marital Destruction)?
I ran this idea by Mrs. 1500 and I’m pretty sure she’s 100% behind it:
F*** NO!!! I’M NOT LETTING YOU GET ANYWHERE NEAR ME WITH THAT THING!!
Well, maybe not 100%, but she’ll come around.
One minor issue (probably the only one) may be that I’m a terrible artist. I can’t even draw a stick figure. My 9-year-old can draw better than me. Much better. But that’s OK, right? If Mrs. 1500 wants a big dragon and I botch it up, I’ll just turn it into an even bigger amoeba. This is what the pros do, right?
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